POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Issue 79, 2 April 1936, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

By Percy Flace.

Peace talk in Ethiopia appears * be dying down. Well, while both side are winning the war, it would be sill; to stop it. • * • The "Manchester Guardian".. sayi that there is nothing revolutionary ii a policy of guaranteed prices. Maybe but is it cricket? ' • * * Mr. Wright says that many Auck landers think that Wellington is dis linguished for nothing but its wind Perhaps that was merely a sly dij at Parliament. •' CHEERFUL ABSURDITIES. The Minister of Public Works," sub mitting a draft of his proposed speechei for Cabinet approval. ■ The findings of the street-cornei nautical experts regarding the Ranga. tira mishap. ■ The meteorological office laying odd: on the weather forecasts. The dairy farmer agreeing to any thing; anywhere, at any time. Y. RARAPA, • • ♦ TOO TRUE! The latest news from Abyssinia cer tainly appears to justify the devastating criticism expressed by Dean Inge a: long ago as 1915: "Our species is th< most cruel and destructive of all tha' inhabit the planet. If the lower ani mals,,as we call them, were able U formulate a religion, they might diffei greatly as to the shape of the beriefi cent Creator, but; they would nearl; all agree that the devil must be verj like a big white man." ■'.-; ■■ MEMO... • ' ♦ '.■'•.- ■'" THAT BRAIN-TEASER. Answers to the puzzle of the boots the ill note, and the 4s-change stream in with each mail. Practically every department in this renowned office i! interesting itself in the matter—at the expense, we fear, of efficiency. Col leagues approach us with a bland ail and searching eyes trying to inveigle us into letting them into the secret But that is simply not done: and out neutrality is strictly observed. ■ From outside have come attempted solutions and so far the following have "flunked": "Elderberry," "John o1 Gaunt," P.G.S. (Wadestown), "Ex> M.P." (we wonder who he is), Grace Darling, "Northlander" (a member of the fair sex), and the redoubtable Em; mett Walpole. Who's the next to face the music,? And watch out tomorrow! ♦ * ■.'•■•' ZOOLO-GY. Dear Mr. Flage,—Quite a Iqf; ha! been said and written and illustrated about zoos here and elsewhere. It is strange that most of our best and worst traits are likened, rightly oi wrongly, to animals. We may.or may not be brave ,as a lion, fierce as a tiger, strong as a horse, clumsy as an elephant, proud as a peacock, wise as an owl, faithful as a dog, t sly as a fox, shy as a dove, slippery as an eel, treacherous as a snake, obstinate 'as 3 mule, thickskinned as a, rhinoceros, cold as a fish, slow as a tortoise, meek as a lamb, timid as a deer,, mad-as a march hare. Can anyone think of any more? And apropos all this —a duck is an ungainly creature, while most cats are fastidious,, dainty creatures; ; certainly graceful... Yet,,.c,al] a woman a duck' and she - smiles, but call her a cat and—virel.ljj.';.;-'/ ...;!.,-■ ; \ . r: ■'".' ' ': ' ."■•■■'.kANGA'RobSTER. •■ • . • ■■ * ■ .-...- MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. I reckon it's a 'owlin' shame.'." ~.'.. 'Ere's no one gotta better claim To be a Lab'rite in-'h'-put Than yours sincerely, for about; ,-' These larst ten years, an' can I gel A ticket for the 'Ouse? You bet ' Your life I can't. I been to see A messenger what's known to me;'Ees 'ometown's mine, an' years ago 'E was a bright lad—not too slow ■ At anythink. I picked 'c would Sooner or later, .dear, come good, . An' ain't 'c! Well, dear, as I say, 'E's a real infloonce, in a way, But when I met 'im on the stairs, My aunt—an' did 'c put on'airs! - 'E left me to it, yes, the brute ... I could 'aye spat upon hees boot! If Fraser turns .me down like that I'll turn 'im and hees gang down flat At nex' election—that I will, An' so will all the Lane, an' Bill. I reckernise I got me rights, ■ An' when I start to fight, I fights. The which reminds me Forbes-'n'-Coata Don't seem to be hexchangin' notes On what the Hoppersition mob Will do when they get on the job.-. Looks like a rifted flute to me, • Playin' a mournful melerdee. If Gordon's peeved, I'll bet Georgs don't Lose little sleep, as is hees wont. I always felt, 'ail, rain, or fairt They was' a iller sorted pair, An' now it. seems that I was right . . . Bill's.makin' some 'omebrew tonight. • • • POSTED .. . MISSING. ; " O'Moran Pay less." — Somewhat strained. "Agricola" (North Otago).—(1) "Running Commentary." excellent, but it has been officially decided to give that subject a rest for the time being. (2) "When You Were a Tadpole and I ■ was a Fish" was said to, have been written by Langdon Smith, a wellknown New York journalist, when he was attached to the Sunday, edition of the "New York Herald." A few of its* stanzas appeared in the "Herald" lin 1895. The poem was afterwards lengthened and became known all over the world. "Groper."—See "Agricola" (1). "Porex."—Sorry, but that might give offence to an estimable body iof men. ■'■..' ••. -■ • . Annie Shilling.—A natty little rhyme, but that subject has been laid aside for the present. Returned as requested. ' ■ "Honoraria' and Other Things."— Thanks, but a little too much liked party boosting. :: M.S. ("Edward's Engagements").— The first stanza: • ••■ . ■ .= Now the girls are after-Teddy,- -. And 'tis to England's shame That Dame Rumour's always ready To play the match-maker's game. "Skitler."—Unable to make heid^ or tail of it. "Kiwimoa."—(l) Will think over that suggestion. (2) That broadcast from the Ethiopian battle front is too well known by this time to republish. Thanks all the same.. "Curious."—lt won't be long now before we all know what Walter has up his sleeve. '„•■',. "Cinch" (Gisborne). — Somewhat overlong. Always glad to hear from you. ■ - "Petronius."—Thanks. Felicitatibns reciprocated. ■• ■■ "Submerged Tenth" (Martinborough).—You lack a flair . for. topical rhyme, though the idea is interesting.. E.M. (Petone).—Unable to gratify your curiosity. , "Katipp."—Too heavily charged with political animus. : . C— (1) tfo. (2) No; that-is a colleague of ours. . ■ ■ i "The Grinner" (Karori).—Our rotten effusions"? Well, we like a briefc. bat for a change. .