POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 109, 4 November 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment X .

BY PERCY FIAGII

An old dog for a soft track—Harold Logan. ■'• , . ♦■■■■■!• Add definitions:' Syntax—what you pay for being a bad lad. . .-■■"■• • * No wonder Labour slipped at the British municipal elections. In Hull, and other northern parts, rates were as high as 15s in the £. * ■■ * • J ♦ Books will be acceptable in the back- ' blocks, but all-wave sets (with aerials) - ' for indigent farmers would be an un- ' beatable election trump card. ■ ■ • ' .*■-■• High exchange may have meant • striking gain in the national income' but conversely it may do a lot to assist the Nationalists' outgoings. * * # How do you like this as describing the forthright gentleman.in charge of "Mussolini" Meredith Manages Manchester's Men. It does seem to fit, don't you think? ••. * * * HARD TO SWALLOW; In a recent cricket manual is - a chapter dealing with maintenance of grounds. Among other information it says: "In addition to earth worms the eel worm does a lot of damage and also the leather-jacket grub (the first stage of the daddy-long-legs fly). Birds destroy a lot of them and also the heavy roller." . What! We have seen ah emu swallow an open pocketknife, but we have had no anxieties about the heavy roller. - . R.J.P. * * *. HOWLERS. Dear Percy,—The first three' "howlers" can be vouched for by a teacher friend. I vouch for the fourth. After a bee has stung it dies, because some of its innings come out. A moth comes out of a Chrysler--sometimes butterflies have been seen coming out of a Chrysler. How are pohutukawa leaves protected from insects? By the gowerment. How did Napoleon die? Through a long confinement at St. Helens. BINDY * ♦ • FAVOURITE SMELLS. The hot sun on pine trees. Baking bread. The tang of burning driftwood of a frosty night. First whiff of the sea—to an in lander. Newly-polished floors. Fresh paint. Newly-dug soil. Hot tar. "WILL O" THE WISP." Dannevirke. Brand new books. New babies in their new woollies. . A garden full of stocks at night. Apples, very much under-ripe. And a baker's shop at 10.30 ajn. I. M? DAFT. Lemon-scented tarata. Rangiora in full bloom. Tall cocksfoot in December. Pine pollen. Ripe peaches. '-' ■ Stockholm tar. Fresh copper-paint. Oregon pine shavings. ' Mist on the tussocks'. ••-" Ti-tree thicket on a hot summer day. '■Wood'smoke at twilight.''- ' OL FACTORY. . * * - •" DIONNE QUINTS OUTCLASSED. If a yellow clipping from a Montezuma (Mexico) newspaper of March 23, 1902, is to be believed, the Dionne quintuplets lose much -of their impressiveness as scientific phenomena. The clipping is the property of a Toronto lady, and here.is what it says:— Three girls and four boys were bora today to the wife of Jesus Lopez, a private in the Mexican Army. The new arrivals weigh about two pounds apiece, each perfectly developed in every respect. It is believed here that this blow at race suicide is unprecedented in any country. After he became a sevenfold papa, Mr. Lopez was given the privilege by the military commander to "paint the town red and go as far as he liked." He is doing so at the present moment —and with a vengeance. The mother and her seven children were reported as doing splendidly. We are under obligations to V.J.C., who forwarded the material for this par. It was accompanied by his wish, that we should never become, a father of seven —"at any rate, not at once . . . not even your bitterest enemy would wish you that." * « * THE STATE OF THE WORLD! This place-name curiosity was sent along by "Pocahontas," who got a laugh out of that Coldbath Squara par of ours. We journeyed to Vienna, to Paris, and to Wales, To Norway and to Denmark by motor-, car and rails; ' To Egypt and to Smyrna, to China an<J Peru; To Sweden and to Poland, explore^ them through and through. We travelled on to Naples, to Lisbon, and to Rome; To Dresden and to Athens and there felt quite at home; We stopped awhile at Belfast, at CalaiJ and at York, At Argyle and at Limerick to hear th» natives talk. We hied away to Milo, Palermo, and Madrid, To Korea and to Gilead, by big green forests hid, To Corinth and to Bristol, to Stockholm and to Leeds, To Carthage and to Cornish, all famed for noble deeds Then back by way of Mexico, in sunshine and in rain, —And throughout this entire journey-— NEVER LEFT THE STATE OF, EIAINE! « * » MORE DUMB BELLES-LETTRES. Judge Ben Lindsey, Denver, Colorado. Dear Judge Lindsey,—Will you tell me where I can get a Compassionate marriage and what it will cost, and also like to know where I would get a compassionate girl. Sincerely yours, Thomas V . Sava Cola, Ladies Tailor, New York. Dear Sir,—My boy friend thinks he likes tailored suits. But maybe if he sees me in one he'll think of me as his pal, and I don't want he should think of me that way.—Eliza J . Weaver Piano Company. Gentlemen,—l got a cross letter from you wanting my piano because I have not paid my bill yet. My business is so bad now I can't pay. Surely you wouldn't take this piano, which is the only one I have, when you have so many pianos there at the factory.—Sam D . A. J. Child and Sons, St. Louis. Gentlemen,—Would you kindly ship at once a half-dozen extra heavy oak chairs as you shipped three years ago last September! This is a mighty good chair, and terribly handy in a fight.—C.D,