POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXX, Issue 91, 14 October 1935, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGT,

Smithy seems .to be having a bad (aeroplane) spin.

Can't you imagine Haile Selassie muttering in his beard over the defection of his renegade son-in-law. * » « ' Nowadays it seems that the motorist has the right of way and the pedestrian has what is left. ■". ■• • » Perhaps the Government's idea of providing more library facilities for farmers could fittingly be described as an agri-cultural move. We refuse to worry about the fate of Adowa. ... We're trying to sort out the. Stewards' and Cup double —and the election issue. PLAIN AND FANCY. . v . Dear Flage,—We are not a particular fan of Jeanette Mac Donald, but we do think Nelson Eddie is rather unjust to sing: "I'm falling in love with someone plain to see!" '; Hoping you can.do something about H.W.G. ■■■*.'. * . ~.# BUOYED UP—AND DOWN. "Arnoldo Corlesi" comments on thes« headlines:— ITALIANS BUOYED .' •. BY WAR PROPAGANDA. May I remark that most of our Italian friends are usually at this season buoyed up on.the hapuka grounds in Cook Strait. I. sincerely trust there's a "catch" ia for both parties. BINDY. P.S.—The • local lads are gonna find moki pretty scarce oft Somes Island shortly!! , , ' ' « ' ■*■■:■ *'-;- ■' .■ ■ •. ' PHILOLOGICAL NOTE. > r Dear Mr. Flage,—What do you knov»r about this? "E.P., Sat, July 3, 1926: Mr. Kangaroo—But, Mary, where's the child? Mrs. Kangaroor-Bless me, I've had my pocket picked. "Dominion," Oct. 5,1935: : First Kangaroo: Judith, Where's the baby?' - ~ • - Second Kangaroo:' Gosh, my pocket'• been picked again! Observe the piquant change, from "Mary" to "Judith," and the substitution for tne old-fashioned New Zealand or English phrase, "Btess me 1 of the peppy Americanism "Gosh.l^ Your affectionateJOE MILLER. : Redivjvus. '.' ■ ■ ' •? * - * .■ ■ , INQUIRY DEPARTMENT.. "Elspeth."—You lose. It was Sir Thomas More, not Sir Walter Raleigh, who, mounting the scaffold, jested with the executioner in this wise: "I pray you see me up safe, but for. my coming down I can shift for myself." ■Which somehow recalls the grisly story credited to Bayley as lie was being attended to by the warders immediately prior, to his execution: "I don't know much about this hanging business, but I suppose I'll soon drop to it!" "Dionne Junior."—Haven't the faintest idea as to who is the "biggest baby in the world." ■ ■"Ninety-nine." — "Voices -of ■ the Crowd" was- rather - apropos, was it not? Thank you for those copies.. As one who knew not New Zealand in 1904 we shall-be interested to con them -over.:.;- - .■ ■'•,'. : . . ' \ "Old- Jack."—Your inquiry as to "Carbine's two-year-old race record" lias been passed on to "Rangatira." Watch his column.- • '" ■■;. ■ ■■'" * *■ '♦•■■ ■-. . :' ' ■■..'.• HATS. • This spring you'll note the smartest , hat ..'--■. For matron chic and dainty maid, Whatever kind, must be quite flat; ■■>. Dame Fashion's- whim' must, be ' obeyed; • : ;'■■• But brims, you'll see, are often wide, Adorned with fascinating bows. Observe! They're tilted to one side : To show an eye arid' tip of nose. Preferred by some is hat so small There's much display of marcel wave, It scarcely is a hat at all, Hence locks are free, to misbehave. The "halo" framing pretty curls Revealing eyebrows, merest line— "The vogue," so say the modern girls; Of eyebrows now there's little sign. The "halo" is the hat of youth When naughty eyes and scarlet lips Enhance its charm—but there, forsooth! Displaying hat with droopy dips, Goes lovely damsel, young and slim, Close rival to the "halo" lass_; So sweet is she 'neath shady brim, 'Tis our delight to watch her pass; But what, think you, of her mamma? Outshining all the "in-betweens" At times her hat is cuter far ; Than that of daughter in her 'teens. Then grandmamma! Her hat this spring ■•■.''..-■ (Her span of years she now' defies) Is surely such a fetching thing That age upon her lightly lies. Yet strange methinks, that hat worth while Though it be yellow, red, or brown. No matter what the shape or style, Must always have a shallow crownl ■..'■'.'. :: f. c. m—s. Lower Hutt. « * * THE DODO. : Dear Persiflage,—Recently. Mr. R. Semple, criticising the Government, referred to something as being "as dead' as the dodo." Uninformed people are too apt to deal lightly with the dodo, and in consequence I append a short versipar which may help to uplift those' lacking in knowledge, geological and ornithological, if not political. Don't refer to dictionary. I have. The dodo was an ancient bird that lived long years ago; just when it passed its marble in, there's little left to show; but I will tell you lots and lots, if knowledge you should mourn, of how it lived, and what it ate, before it crossed the bourn. Some say it built a kind of nest, in trees, or on the ground a better way. than leaving eggs adrift and scattered round. Of course, there may have been no nest—it's very hard to say—eggs surely could have never reached the price they are today. / . It may have eaten rats or mice, and supped on mountain dew, a slimming fare if it had hoped to see the journey through. But then again there is a doubt if dodos had a gall: geologists have found no crop to prove it ate at all. We're very certain -that it lived, and certain that it died; we know the dodo tribe, at least, is safely home and dried; so if in life you chance to meet with those who don't agree, just treat them with a caustic smile and send them on to me. . I'll show Bob Semple in few words just how it lived and fed, prove how it roosted, scratched, and crowed, digested air, and bred; and this I'll also prove to him: 'Twas wise, when old and thin, to leave this tortured ball o£ mud- before the slump set in. My name will carry weight; so picas? append it. FERYARNEK, R.P.T.N.U. (Research Professor of Things-Nobody Understands), ■- •'.