POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIX, Issue 94, 22 April 1935, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comm&nt

If report speaks true; young married couples will think twice before settling down in the Seatoun district. * '•♦'.'■• / When the scorching hot favourite gels well and truly licked (pardon!) his backers, too, feel clammy all over. ■ -.I « « "Amos-'n'-Andy" suggests as a precaution for wrestling promoters that the combatants should be compelled to • wear "sudden" parachutes. ftI!'.*' # At election time it's one thing to stand for the people but quite another thing to get the majority to stand for you. And now, meet the bubble collector. His job is to collect the' bubbles goldfish send up, and sell them to a firm of spirit-level manufacturers to put in their spirit levels. « * * , A PRECISIAN INQUIRES. Sir Percy Flage,—This is an appeal for information, made because you ara accepted as an epitome of useful knowledge, assisted perhaps by a library stocked with dictionaries, encyclopaedias, anthologies, with other everpresent helps for editors in time of' need. The question is: Why do newspapers refer to the King's twenty-fifth year of reign as a jubilee? My only reference says: "A jubilee is a Jewish festival celebrated every fiftieth year. . . . The fiftieth anniversary of any event." Newspapers are the principal educators of the unlearned/ so that meticulous accuracy is imperative. D'YOU BELIEVE IT. We, too, are of the order of precisians^ but we condone such a liberty on the ground that nowadays any old excuse is good enough for a party; i.e., to jubilate.—F.F. . t> *■ , « ' NEWS ODDMENTS. •Curassows have, arrived at the Lon-' don Zoo. They are birds about the size of turkeys, and hail from South America. Big and clumsy, they spend nearly all their time in trees, eating leaf buds, leaves, and fruit. Mrs. Curassow builds an enormous nest, for herself and lays an egg about'the. size of a pigeon's.' A IJindu pilgrim walked 1000 miles from the Punjab to bathe in the holy , waters of the ' Kistna River at Bezwada. As soon as he entered the water he sank and drowned. Katsujiro Yanase, of Omori, Japan was deserted by his two wives, in succession; The last desertion took place two years ago. Ever since he has been stealinfi women's frocks in order to "revenge' himself upon the other sex. When ho was arrested 100 dresses were found hidden under a floor at hi! home. •» «■ # COCKIE. In winter time he often ploughs And gives the stbredrup feed to cough' While skim milk's flung to little sough-. —'Tis life of a hard-up farmer. There sometimes comes a little chequ< Which saves his car from utter reque Who then buy's hat for head to deque' - —'Tis wife of a hard-up farmer. The co-w that's killed is oft-times tough, His kids complain, they get a cough. And wife works up into a hough. —'Tis strife for a hard-up farmer. So life on farm goes on its weigh With ups and downs in every deign. Hi» mortgage1 he'll forget to peigh. —That's life for a hard-up farmer! ; ROLAND C. HALL. , •' ■. ■ • : ■■ • JUBILEE HONOURS FOR INDIA. Five nsw kings are to be created this year within the British Empire. They are five of the most important of the ruling Princes of India—the Nizam of Hyderabad, ithe Gaekwar of Earodn, the'Maharajah-of Mysore, the Maharajah of Kashmir, the Maharajah pf Givalior, and the full rank of kingship over their States will be conferred on them at the Imperial Durbar to be held in Delhi in celebration of the King-Emperor's Jubilee. The new kings will have the right to exchange diplomatic envoys with the British Court, and will be responsible to the Kinc-Emperor direct. The Maharajah of Mysore is the 50-year-old ruler of; India's "model State," rich in coffee, gold, coal, and timber. The Nizam of Hyderabad is the premier Prince of Iridia, wealthiest man in the wcrld, and ruler of territory as large as Itajy, with. M 600.000 subjects. His personal fortune is estimated at £100,000,000.. The Maharajah of Kashmir rules one of the most beautiful countries in the world. The Gaekwar of Baroda is the shepherd boy who became king. * '..' ' . .* . i • WE ARE DISCOVERED! "Boiled Potatoes" writes:—Many years ago a friend of mine went to lowa from New Zealand. He has learned' many wonderful things in America, has married a female American, and is a prosperous chiropractor. But the point is that he. sometimes sends newspaper cuttings to uplift and edify us. While looking through the "Cedar Rapids Gazette" (Iowa) on February 3 for this purpose he was j startled to find his home country had been finally found out and explained to the fortunate readers of the "Gazette" in the following snappy article. Perhaps your readers' may bft interested. We are told that "English traditions rule New Zealand life" and that life there is "slow and calm, few convent ences; folk see no reason for change; are sport minded." (These,are subheadlines.) Later on the story gets under way—this wise: "The island for the most part is populated with Britishers, ; natives living there ' being about the same proportion as the Indian in America. And they are steeped in British propriety and conventions. Things are done because they're proper rather ■■ than eDJoyble, and everything is done" over a Cig) of tea. There's a lot of value in a cup of New Zealand tea, however, for it has warmth which holds something of a premium in that land. Damp, penetrating winds prevail the year around and with unsubstantially built ' wooden houses devoid of central heating plants. Mrs. C—— went outside, many times for a; brisk walk round the block to get her feet warm. Woollens are the favoured wearing apparel without much thought about style, for style is the highest in ultra high prices in New Zealand. Just to give you an idea of the price scale, washing machines tost around 400 dollars." Later on we find (1) that "moving pictures are quite an event? attended in evening clothes " and (2) that "All New Zealanders are proud of a slangless, perfectly enunciated English language and treat it with corresponding deference." Finally, "Everyone lives on a simple scale. Just boiled potatoes daily without thought of variation, and so on through the rest of the modes, of living. Everybody's comfortable .so why change the golden rule of-conduct." . Without question, we are a great little country ' ..;;,-.,'