POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVIII, Issue 55, 3 September 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

W.K.-~Priuco. George couldn't go •• they'centenary. ' . . «■ «- «■

Wiley Post would bo well advised fo include, some angel cake in his foodstuffs just in case his blower should conk out up in tho stratosphere. .

The decision of the Commouwealtli Cabinet to reconsider the question of (ho new cotton duties is clearly a move to .unravel a weave that is all snarled .up.

Dear "Purse," —What does one do with, old Unemployment Levy Books? Merely destroy thorn ov hand them, on to posterity in case a grandchild should ask of one, "What did you do in.-th' Great Depression, Grandad?" . . .PINED SIXPENCE.

CENSORSHIP.

From a daily, newspaper not unconnected with you I culled the following while gazing at tot advertisement*: Mother will enjoy the Jove itory • . . father the , fast-moving : adventuro . . . -and thew are thrills for children of every age. ■(Rgcom* mended by tho Censor for. Adulti.)

WEE WILLIE.

NO PLACE FOR TEETOTALLERS;

A ■"drink.- moro wino" campaign is afoot in' Portugal. Hecent edicts oblige every hotel and restaurant in the country, to supply a small bottle otl wino to each customer when a nioal is ordered. Tho' wino is included in tho cost of the meal, and must bo supplied even' though..' the patron prefers—ur evon orders—beer or soino other bovorage. Clients of ours who are interested can obtain all particulars as to tourist; rates and routes to Lisbon, from tho usual sources.

J{OW YOU TELL ONE.

"Pscudologist" sends in this truc-to-fuct story. It relates to twins who not only had different birthdays, but wore born in different months tad different years. It happened thus: Mrs. Paulino Pride, of Liverpool, lay in. a hospital on Now Year's .Eve. At four minutes before midnight she gave birth to a little girl. . Then the city, with horns, whistles, and cowbells, struck up i+ic baud to wolcome 1034. Tho hospital yiock struck midnight. Four, minutes later Mrs. Pride gay£ birth to a son. The girl wns born in December, 1933, the boy jn January, 1934.

•* • , "WESTERNISING" ALMOND EYES.

That story of the Tasmanian "digger" whoso shattered face was almost miraculously "restored" by medical surgery reminds us that Japanese ■ surgeons are busy making straight the slanting eyes of Nippon's young men aud women. The ulmond eye is going out of fashion in Japany bocause of tbia now vogue. Some time ago a Japanese eyo specialist devised aitiinplo and painless mothod of "Westernising" tho Oriental oyo. To date, more than 20,000 patients havo undergone the trcatmcut, and tho demand is steadily increasing, in spite of the protests from old-timers. Tho operation is porI formed under a local anaesthetic. It takes less than an hour. Tho- outer corners of the upper eyelid are slightly folded back, a slight incision is made, and a fow stitches with superfine surgical thread are inserted. Within a week the wounds heal, leaving no trace of a scar to show that Nature has been tampered with.

A-TISHOO! Lot us drone a dull cadenza To that demon, Influenza. Let us moan awhile the cadence lung and loud, Lot us sing the syncopation Of a 'flu-beridden nation, A mournful melancholia of the crowd* With a noto of high distortion And a painful faco contortion, Lot us gasp sufficient air to sec us thro. As wo mix our minims freely, Let the semi-breves come clearly, The enunciation lacks a lot that's true* Though the noddle feols all knobbly. And the low tones coino out wobbly, And the time is nondoscript exceed* ingly, Still there's food for meditation.. In this song of tribulation, This -spluttering, hacking,' barking melodic. Let us find some way to banish This weird malady—«or vanish From this life that hands out colds toi me and you, For I'm sick of sniffle, sniffle! And if you think this piffle — Just you wait until you're stiff'ring from fhe TluMt YOUNG HOPEFUL. «• * ■ » '' HOWITZER »S'' BROADCAST. ! The- Queen City of tho North sent I her biggest and brightest boys down to I beat up our sometimes not so suprcma » 1 situ lads. 1 About 400 ribbon-wearers also attended, and after inspecting (from tha 1 outside) the alleged largest wooden building in the world, tho site of our 1 new railway station, and our 'arbour, ■ they reached tho park in time to cheer "Bubs" Knight as he led his warriors into the arena. '* . ... Everything was sot, tho boys lined out, the rcf. roady to blow tho whistle, when somebody discovered' that thevo was no ball on the ground—or in tho air, either, if it comes to that. The invaders were working on all cylinders until "Joey" Sadler put ia an appearance and opened up in real earnest. He grabbed six points, and made victory sure for tho capital. T rusty Page was a trifle smudged on' Saturday. Many of tho exports wanted him at "full-back. ... '. . Casualties starred early, and it looked as though Mr. Nicholls might use up. his' full quota of "conference" men. Auckland's Corner was hard to tiirn^ ami then Hodge, though 'not very high, was darned hard to clip. Then ttiera were a eouplo of hot members in Cum* and Pepper. The referee got tangled, up once or twice, but a little attention from tho.Zambuksiput him right, -an<| ho carried on in soldierly fashion. McLean showed his affection for hi* old clubniato, Frank Kilby,. several times falling all over him. "Better lato than never," said Mjv Coulston, as ho toro his way across. itif tho second spell. , >' Old-thnors were present in force, nri doubt comparing today with long pasti yesterday. "Bumpor" Wright was o£ that gathering. Ho tells a story of how, when a youngster, he visited Auckland for the first time with the Wellinjstoi, fifteen. His fame'had preceded bna, no doubt, for the train had hardly pulled in before somebody came along looking for "Bumper" with a raessaga to say that Charlie Seeling was going to eat him. "Bumper" was not scored. Before tho tea.ms linod out skipper Billy Wallace instructed tho young "Wellingtohian to "take care" of Seeling, probably the greatest forward this land has produced. "Bumper* gave the job his most earnest attenttoa, and though ho limped Off the field witfc a. pair of black eyes and a face Wi mother wouldn't have recognised, h* ■eoulA'still pass the word along ehecril* to the 'skipper: "Well, we won, Billfl,**