POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVII, Issue 112, 14 May 1934, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Cricket is like that. -When, 'a batsman is caught between two minds he is not necessarily out. • • • ■ ' That Paraguay: Bolivia clash looks like the war to end war, because presently there will be no more men to fight it. ' : ' . ■ * :* -♦"■■■■■■■■ "When her golf becomes less of v social pastime.and more of a commercial asset Britain may win the Walker Cup back one of these days. ; ■ ■ , '-" ■--•"- . * EUREKA! ■ ■ .■ * The control of ragwort (says'a Taranaki paper) would probably be in the hands of county councils next season. They would have—among other things —the power to expand their general funds. Ah! That is what we have been, wanting for years: the power to expand our general funds. - E.J.P. • * *■ ' TRIAL OF THE PICKS. An Order in Council gazetted last week states that the new ; Dominion silver coins are to be subjected to what is known as the -Trial of the Pyx. "Begob, if they'd worked•, on ■ tha Northland relief-job they'dhaye known all about the trial of the picks in.that unmentionable rock near the wireless " writes .. .. ••.= •' .."■''.-:' OMADHAUN./ •. ' i ".*•.. ■■ * ■ ,*:.-• THAT: EIGI POST. Dear Mr. Percy Plage,—-Without tho use of any unfiltered language I would like to inform you that we have been unsuccessful"'• in our efforts to shift the deatliTknoek post in the centre of The Eigi footpath. The powers that be have answered us by planting a real concussion producer on the other side of the road. This one is not quite m the centre ' of the footpath, but it is set in such aSvay that above the ground it throws an 'obtuse angle. It has already knocked one Borstal Old Boy but. Is there any perfume to spray the posts with? That would cause the white butterflies to Kelp us rid this district of such misery-producers. The Borstal Old Boys' Association is hanging an engineer's photo on one of the posts as a protest, and if they do the people who use the footpaths will bless them for ever more. Hoping'to have your assistance once more, and without thanking you and me for the good we may do in the future— ~.- . . ~. •■ Scours to the tall timbers, ■ •HOKITIKA WILLIAM. *-. . •■■'■ '■*'■■-.- . AVAB STOEY. . . ' Dear Percy,—ls it permitted that I tell a war story? It is? Merei! Dave told the yarn to illustrate how a disabled man might, if the wind were sufficiently vertical, overcome his disability. . Dave spent his war years as trench mortar artist, : though that wasn't his fault. One dirty night, having delivered the usual two or throe, the mortar crowd decamped. Dave, loaded with fabout a hundredweight of gear, slipped from a duck-board^, and sustained a fair dinkum sprained ankle. Sounds commonplace, but in-the cireumstanees it was serious. The mortar crew, redistributed the gear, and halfcarrying Dave, made slow progress to the rear. - When fairly-in the open they were caught in a Jerry strafe,:but the first man to reach coyer was Davet He, sprinted a good hundred yards on a sprained ankle! He was carried out on a stretcher for tho remainder of the journey, and the M.O. who examined him said, "DamitaU, hadn't you mora sense than to try walking on it?" ..'■■■■• MAC. * «• <• . BOYS Win BE BOTS. Did you ever in your travels, your m'osv comprehensive travels, Hear such tommy bosh told loud As was spoken at a meeting, at a very; ' solemn- meeting, Of the Ngaio Progress crowd? Bowdy boys, that was the subject, quite a most important subject, -• •-" : And complaints were loud and long: Biding scooters, throwing "stones, sir, . quite a good array of stones, sir; Naughty boys, that was quite wrong. Policeman never seemed to catch 'em (p'raps he didn't want to catch 'em), ".'.'■'■■'" Of boys' tricks he knew a lot. Isn't it a mighty pity—yes, indeed a mighty pityThat those others had forgot. If these boys are somewhat rowdy, if —I say—they 're somewhat iowdy, If they shout and make a noise, : They're but being rightly guilty—hard* ly can it be termed guilty— Of the crime of being boys. PUNKA.' P.S. —I suggest someone has a go at this subject to .the tune of "Cummings Thru' the Eye.'' ' ■ -■• -P. ■:■ * * . ■ - ♦ ..-■';.! ' "HOWiT2EB" BBOADCASTS. Isn 't the local championship just a merry mix-up? i It may interest you, to know that Poneke loyalists were asking (and receiving) six to ten points before they; would risk their cigarettes and sweets on Saturday. On form it looked that way, too. Hutt descended ovn the Park to be entertained by their old friends, Poneke. (They were "entertained," all right!) There was a real old Poneke Club flavour about the affair. Sid Shearer, on behalf of the JMayor and citizens of Lower Hutt, was directing operations,. while- ainongat' the chosen were the Ncal brothers—and didn't •their old clubmates give them a big hand! Bef. Paton's. future will ba watched with interest. Lilburne looked like a winning skipper when ho led on the field Peck, Barry, Coulstonj Killcen, arid. Lynch! from Taranaki. 'Griffiths decided to head.off tho red and white at tho jump out, and inn them off their feet. He had the'ablo assistance of Ongley, Phin Stone, Quaid, and company. There . seemed something different about Barry. Perhaps he's married now. ' . Griffiths was like the tax collector;] certain to take it at the slightest opportunity. Tho Poneke pack was fast enough to' be matched with Walla Walla. What's happened to Eastbourne? Perhaps Hut| will supply the answer next Saturday. For the Bay boys iir was not a bath but a deluge. . ■>• ■ :Marist found'Petdne just as comfortable as ISTewtown Park; ' t >, ;Old Boys helped' Wellington down on' Saturday. N. Ball put over his old colleagues the best one" for years when, he got a great try.-- ' , -•;;:. | There must be a fine fraternal spirit abroad in these two clubs the way the players go from one to the other. Aspirants are just showing up for the 1935 jaunt.. It is,time the manager and assistant manager were chosen.'Perhaps they have been. Heard during the" week that everyr thing was fixed, and there wpuld.be,no;more trouble in' scrummaging. Ask Bef. Paton to confirm that.' Latest from Bastbonrne:; "Training, operations badly : disorganised sincestrict supervision of home-brewers*' gulls report dry-gills causing much slow-ing-up of team even having its effect on Puller's right foot.