POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 103, 28 October 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Add similes: As ease-hardened as a rhinoceros beetle. • « * Last month some Yankee misdemeanant stole a hearse—:of all things. Anywny, it will bo his funeral if and when they catch him, * * * Announcement from a cabled account of a London sensation: "Miss Flatau . . . hurled a heavy flowerpot at tho intruder, striking him in the chest." So the dear old aspidistra comes into its own again. • ■ » * HE 'WAS EVEE THUS. The name of the exiled Winooka May fade from Turf history's page, But as one irrepressible spruiker Bufe Naylor is sure weight-for-age. : ' • • • '■ . HE WAS TELLING THEM. Complaints about pickpockets at * carnival held in Turlock, California, led the Chief of Police to investigate. Ho stuffed a big wallet in his pocket-— empty except for this note— "Did you ever get fooled?" After an hour strolling through the crowds ho took out the wallet and opened it. Inside was this reply: "A\r, quit your kiddin'." PLEASING SOUNDS. My Jittlo lot: Children's laughter iit , the cool df the evening; the chimes of tho carillon wind-muffledj bellbirds at th~eir matins near the edge of a whispering summer sea; a spring wind tangled in the wires on Tinakori; the drowsy! "cheep" of nestlings after nightfall; a little mountain-fed waterfall in th« heart of the Lush; and'a horse cantee* ing easily along, a moonlit road. ■ / :-:, MELISANDE. • " •" •'■-•%' "PLUNGER." , Plage,—"l Was There" is right about : Godby's reputation, as a "plunger." Four or five years ago he put £800 on a horse of his own in a maiden scurry "down the line" (Melbourne) worth about £50 net t» the winner. The horse "squibbed'* badly in the last furlong and was beaten a length. Godby immediately gave the animal to a "battling* trainer, went on -with the game, and1 finished, up about square after some hectic betting. At Bandwick one day; he was "down" a cool £3500 when ifc came to tho last race, but nothing daunted, he went in off the deep endi on another horse of Sis own and; getting a good price in a big field, ended tig a nice winner on the day. SANDOWN PARK.: * * # . SCHOOL'S IN. Do you know that— 1. According to an;; authority, thera are 250,000 sweets shops in the United Kingdom, and £50,000,000 worth o| chocolates are sold.every year? 2. In Germany no actor, "star" or not, can demand priority of place oa tho publicity sheets for his or heC name? 3. Support and care of his two young sons cost Charlie Chaplin nearly 34,000 dollars last year? 4. A^ 300-years-oW Dutch alarm clock still ticks merrily away in a small boot and shoe repairing shop in Upper* mill, near Manchester? 5. The director of the United States National Crime Council estimates that every year crimes average: Murders 12,000, kidnappings 3000, and assaults 10,000? 6. The salary of Boris, .King of Bulgaria, is only £6000 a year, and tljati of his highest-paid Judge,, the President of the Supreme Court, £300? ■ 7. Because he claimed that his sue« cess An life was due to playing chess, the late Sir William Thomas Dupree has left £5000 each to Brighton and Portsmouth to encourage young men undeij 21 to play chess too? 8. Seventy-five years with, one em* ployer is the remarkable record of George Coles, of High Wyconibe? He is 06, and at latest'reports was still "carrying oh." ,■ ■ 9. A Hollywood lawyer has offered * "free divorce" as a golf prize in tha Lakeside County Club tournament. Many Lakeside members are scree* "stars." 10. J. P. Morgan is insured for' 2,750,000 dollars, Bodnian Wanamaker for 7,500,000 dollars, and Jesse L* Lasky for 5,000,000'? ■•'■• , ' * • OUB FAVOURITE POET. Wistful request from one who woul<| bask in the limelight that is col. B.—*■ If you publish this, please sign it Anon.i We have found consolation in Omar When life had its thumb in our eye,' And exactly the same goes for Homer. And the genius who wrote "Nelly] Ely"; We have peaeock'd with old Gabe Bossetti, ■ And with Dante been quite •woe-be-And when but a stripling we just lappc^ i up Kipling, ; But the king of them all is Ano p n. Ella Wilcox, Walt Mason, and She-lle.* Were fair, though in no sense sub*lime; But Wilde gives us paius in thai stomach (We nearly tripped up on that rhyme!) Burns was Burns, and swart Sappho , was scalding, And our cap we can doff to the Donne. Who, a hit of a mystic, could reel off ii distich — But. he couldn't keep pace with Anon. Of course, there's ourselves: if you start us AYe can give you a geyser display • Of the real divine (so-called) afflatus • In a very spectacular way. But when other bards stay us and slay; us Because of their lack of elan, To escape from such ennui, anon arm. anon we Return to our last love, Anon. » <i * A LYIN' CHRONICLE. Dear Flage,—Au imaginary menagerie manager, examined in bankruptcy - proceedings regarding his possession.*,' stated that all he had left consisted of a lien,on a lean, lone lion, on loan to an alien named Leon, in a lane at Malines. He said further: "Without wishing to malign my lean lion, or M: Leon atMalines, my lion is most lean in tho loin, suggesting that M. Loon has leaned without leniency on tho lone lion's,lean loin. It, might, be wife to drop this alien Loon a line, advising him not to be a loon, and to leave my lean, love, oanc'd lion's loin alone." Whether the Court then instructed I him to lie on, or lie down, is not recorded. L.D.A,