POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 42, 18 August 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment -

BY PERCY FLAGE

Latest reports from Washington in* dicate that •Frankenstein's 1.8.A. monster is becoming more and moTO IRAte. ■.:£ * * * : It has been decided to appoint threa women to Britain's C.I.D. staff. The illstarred Mata Hari was born before her time. * * » "Amos-'n'-Andy". playfully suggest* that to make a severe birching one of the penalties for unlawfully converting motor-ears would simply raise Cain. « « * One curious characteristic of the pcs« simist type is that he remembers all tjie little things that went wrong and forgets all the big things that went right.- Of course, in times like these," when all the big things go wrong, he is doubly proud of himself. * « * MAN OF RESOURCE. Whatever you may think of the gen" tleman himself, after that spectacular escape from the Marama of deported Stephen Sterio (comments a colleague), you havo to admit that he is not stereotyped in his methods. * «- . # • INQUIRY. Flage,—l notice that the telephon* directory covers are no longer red. Ijavo wo to thank the Welfare Leagud for that, or is it due to a Departmental change of political heart? McLENIN, * * * MAYBE THEIR WATCHES WERE FAST. Was it "dinkum" or a mere rehear- ' sal? Two City Corporation workers were observed hoeing into it iv great style with- their shovels on a North* land road at four minutes BEFORE 3 o'clock this morning. Such excessive zeal is likely to result in extra cost to the ratepayers through the prematura wearing out of the shovels. OMADHAUN, 1 * «• if ENCORE ADOLPH. Hitler 's monomania is manifesting it-, self in curious forms.- One'of his neir decrees prohibits anyono in Germany; from using the name "Hitler," or any 4 of its derivatives, in naming children, boats, patent foods, rose trees, etc. On. top of that came- the news that the Nazis have reconstructed the Lord's Prayer. That latter recalls tho story; of a producer in the early days, of the motion picture. This gentleman, who graduated from the sweat shops of New York's textile, trade, wanted to reproduce the tragic Last Supper. But the original size of the, cast did not pleasa his artistic sense, and he insisted, his* tory and protests notwithstanding, that there- must b,e a "bigger crowd at th« banquet." * » • , . PERILS OF CONDENSATION. Dear Per C. Flage,—We need help. We are worried. The peace of ;ouf breakfast-table was sadly and suddenly disturbed by tho arrival of the news* paper which told us, or tried to tell us, that Sir James O'Grady, former Governor of Tasmania, is seriously ill int London, to which he had been rushed from the Falkland Islands, where h* is Governor, for special treatment. This seems just a bit complicated, and we can't make out whether Sir \ James was mr.de Governor for special treatment, or whether he was rushed to London to be ill, or what, or which, or when, or where. COM. AND PER. PLEXITIE. , STRANGE THO' IT MAY SEEM. What Gladstone really said in '75 was: During'breakfast one morning Mrs. G. asked him how he liked his eggs boiled. The G.O.M. replied: "Oh,I like a Hawarden." The only creature that is backward in coming forward is the crab. That's why it walks sideways. According to late fashion papers to hand, women are going back to th» dress of the Victorian age. It is even rumoured that the -men will soon bo wearing-doublets, but in'the meantime they arc carrying on with singlets. Having no compass, and only a very slight knowledge of navigation, - old man Noah did a wise thing when he put a young bull at the tiller to steer. And finally— A lady once sent to an Ed A love yarn that really did Cr; The-old chap got frisky, And said, "Though it's risky," He took her to church, "where he Wr. BADGER. #' * * FOGHORNIANA. Dense fog ob:'?r.res the harbour light* And blots the land from view; Hark! "Dismal Jimmy" wakes to war* The mariner anew. . . He is the anxious seaman's friendPerchance tho ship's salvation — But terra firms dwellers deem Him an abomination. D.J. is neither nightingale Nor siren—to be blunt; His note ouo long lugubrious moan, Expiring hi a grunt. Oft in the stilly night he will Essay to make life cheerful; And, marshalling his groaniest groan.% Pour forth a fearful earful. WJiile weary men who fain would findjj From care, that peevish jade, ease, Long wakeful toss; then savagely. Consign D.J. to Hades. R.J.P. * * * HOLIDAY PHILOSOPHY. Flage, Pcrcival! Sir, —A very worthy Christian left * copy of the "Baptist Times" in a railway -carriage in which I was recently travelling. I follow up a Christian act by sending the tail end on aii article on* school holidays. Relief to the pedagogue and confusion to tha family man come with term holidays, which begin at the end of this week! Perhaps you can use it then? I greatly; enjoy your column. HALF-NELSON. Now for the clipping:—The weather need not wholly determine your happiness, is the other remark I would make. That it does so largely is selfevident, and what is more pitiable than to sec the children gazing wistfully up into leaden skies through which tho sun refuses to break? But my point is that happiness on holiday, and through life itself, is not wholly dependent upon circumstances. The true source of happiness lies within, and without that inner source we cannot enjoy the holiday, however- fine the weather; while' possessed of that, jdy and satisfaction. are assured. "I hope you will havo fine weather'? —yes I do", with all my heart; but Whether the weather be cold, Or whether the weather be hot; Whether the weather be. fine, Or whether tho weather be not, We'll weather the weather, whatevet ■ tho weather, : Whether we like it or not!