POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 35, 10 August 1933, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It is reported that several Blue Shift* were severely injured in. a party clask at Dublin. Probably a few good stitches will put things right. « * # Continuing sensational reports to th« contrary, we nourish an idea that the situation in Dublin and Central Europe. is more pretence than tense. '~*■« * It isn't all win© and roses being a. supreme dictator such as Hitler has - made himself. For one thing, you have to take all the bricks when the crash, conies. * * • Lanvood fears that he may never ba able to "express" again. "At this moment," he told the "Daily Mail," "I cannot run a yard." But he seems to be doing well running a chicken ruii. ;' ' "■ «- jt. ■ « INQUIRY. Dear Mr. Plage,— Is it to be a condition of tho.rerecognitiou of the P. and T. Association that their linesmen must remove the red flag from, the rear of their ladders and substitute the Union Jack? " WAIRAU. '■ Blenheim. .. . .. v #'* ' * NOT FOX "ADULTS ONLY." Edward P. has gone into the'talkie business. At least he is "starring" in a "chronicle" picture which, we read, may bo described as, in,the fullest sense, "the rince of Wales's'-film." However, it is gathered that there was n» washing of dirty linen. . AMOS-'N-ANDY. j. -■'< * i « .OLD FASHIONED. Overseas newspapers report a fiveyear -drought accompanied by tragic famine suffering in a Chinese province. If the jaeople in that troubled region were up to date they would long since have installed irrigation works, overproduced corn and such, and sweated under the depression like the alleged civilised world. ■■ ;.'•' * * * j ]WOBDS ONE KEGEETS HAVING r , , SAID. She's not a. bad littlo bus for her age —she'll do ill the running about-we want, it's only for weekends anyway, and 'tho price is fair enough. We'll just have another small one before we go. -- ■.■■'■'.. You can bring the boys in for tea, but mind you're not to make a. noisa like you did last time. ' Yps. " . ' ' ■ , ' ANN ONNIMUS."; .'■■.'♦. ft ■ ♦ WHY . .".« .? In a recent competition arranged by a book publisher more than 4000 school children from all parts of Britain submitted lists- of ten questions which' they wished to have answered. Hera are some'of the questions for G.K.& to ponder. * When a man grows a moustacha where does the whiskers come from? Why is there.always so many men out of work after war when so many are killed? , Why does the sun fade carpets and wot 'flowers. .■'■"■' Does a hen know chickens will conifl out of her eggs when she is sitting! ■ How did God make Himself? '.' . ..... . "Who invented-work?. ,";•';. '.■..".■.:" ~ Where does the fog go when it clears . up suddenly? ■If a wasp sat on a stinging nettla what would happen? • Why doesn't it hurt when we hard' our hair cut? :.■■- * * . * - * MORNING TEA MONOLOGUE. Was ybS up at the Park to see, The Johns mop up the P.-'n'-T.? The Posties done their best, but Jort. ■ Barry-'n J-Co. gave 'em wot for. ,An> wonders, dear, won't never cease-* I 'ad two bob on the perlice. , I'm sorry now I didn't spread The florin on Mount Bore instead, Which would of brought me in at,least Sii lovely pounds. Ain't it a Iwsastt 'Still/1 'aye got me 'ealti-'a'-stTenth, •An' luck must come my way at len*.; If you wish 'ard enough, an' don't. Stop 'opin'—which, of course, I won't—i An' stand up to the bitin' blarst, Fortune'll smile on you atJarst. Wot's that ,bloke 'Itler drivin' at— Can anybody tell me that? Wot does, 'c think our sect are, eh? ■' Jest incubators, so to say,' Bearin' 'im faruerlies uv ten •To make the boys,all iightin' men — Mere cannon fdod? I never }card \ Uvsuch a thing, upon my word. 1 Woman, as Marie Stopes maintains, ' Was never meantito wear such chainfc AH' wot 'as Brother 'Itler done To boost the census? Not a one? 'E's jest a celebrate, I guess, *% Avoidin' double "blessedness; '. '*1 Nice sorter daddy 'c would make *-♦ « I think 111 try a pieeer cake, .- v ;••■ * •* ••' '1 ■ ANOTHER EAID ON SILVEB. V; . "Howitzer" at the "mike." The preliminaries are over. They'rr lining up now. They're off! Barry Fell. Waite a bit—don't interrupt. Barry didn 't fall. lam trying to give the order they were going down. SusSpeiiee? Yes, and Mclvor Fuller'ri ever all on hand.at the first turn. No, I'm not doing the National . . . the city does me—and pretty well, too. Look out! By George, I thought Fuller would Cave- in then! Ah, here comes the ambulance man with Mcllwraith's' spare. Now don't Bush boys; let tho r ref. have a. fair go. No, Mac; the P. and T. leader doesn't belong to Tiraarnv at the moment. Good Evans! Shepherd Pointon Miles away. Nees again —and hands, too. The hard going must be troubling Mm, though he's doing; his Best to prevent them from knocking together. Help! They're standing a policeman on his head—a Bush of blood to the grey matter. SECOND FYTTE. It's still a beau* , tiful day (tell Auckland), and ths ' head man allowed the whole outfit to> leave the field to confer with, the. Civil Service splons. Off again. The police are pursuing exhausting inquiries —and the P. and T. Fuller back, "Who's the police Take!" Not McCrae; he isn't playing. ■ (He means the pivot.) The police have done everything to upset the Posties, even resorting to bagpipes. Fell again! Fell - again! "Who, mister?" He's over. "Is he badly hurt?". Go away. Fell's over again for another .three points. No, not pints. They're in the ref.'s hold now. That's all right; it means they're doing nothing.1 Pointon again. No, no; that's not "Spud?' Murphy. Why didn't they publish a real programme. This looks like a trade jam' . ■-. . . a traffic cop wanders into the .wrong paddock and is advised' to look at the signals. Ten minutes to go. Shepherd's finding it hard to muster his flock, but Ned Ban-y predicts that the Mayor's Fund can expect an early; 6pTing. After Fuller's sensational arrest before tho kick-off he was not the same man, though Joe'Pinkerton did th\> hat trick to_bail Mm out. ; The pblice' are to be "congratulated on capturing another lot of silver. Stout i'ellers. Little Eric was diverting].? present, but Thurina acd Mount Bo» sent apologies. •The back-to-thc-bag brigade hare only .one alibi: they trained for .heavy; ■weather, ,