POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 28, 2 August 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Apropos the M.C.C.'s dUernma over tho leg-trap, it is becoming more obvious every day that thoso short pitcher* went to the well onec too often.

It 5s reported that a London chemist has discovered a drug "with the possibility of. balm for' heart troubles." Should tliat fail, patients can always havo recourse to the Court—as usual. <■ # »

Lloyd George- complains that the Dominions' produce is able to undersell English-grown. Well, what in Heaven's name did he think our depreciated currency policy was for?

One of Melbourne Inman's chief claims to fame is that for months ho starred with a temperamental race maro called Tishy in Tom Webster's inimitablo cartoon scries . in. the "Daily Mail."

Headings pertinent to the Nazi Penal Bill:— PANICKY OUTBURST. • •' ■'. GBAVB EVENTS POSSIBLE, More -work for the undertakers.

PUT OF STEP. " Broadcast by Bed , Cross lecturer.— "There is at present a movement to 1 place tho practice .of chiropody on a. sound footing." It appears to mo that there- would be better business if chiropody were practised on tender footings. - "'' EX TBA-JICK.

•/ ' INTIMATION. "PJunkct Nurse."—Thanks for th%,clipping with the "underlined significant word or two." It is a jolly example of ambiguous English, but tha circumstances relating to the original incident arc rather sad, and even persiflageous comment would be out ot, place. ''".■'

BABY-FARMING, Two further reasons why la belW Franco; grows finicky and restless whoa tho name of Hitler flashos on the front page, In 1939, one out of every twelvo children born on French soiJ was of foreign parentage. Though tho French Govornm'ent boavily subsidies in ono way or another.;families witli four children, and over, for every thre» born in Franco there are five born in Germany, ., Hitler's scheme for tho mass production of dyed-in-tho-wool Na2i infants is calculated to a4d to French jum.piness, and then,.there is Mussolini across tho Alpa keeping tha storks working ovcrtjme^-if you do jwfc misunderstand our meaning.

WE KEEP FAITH! ' Dear Flage,--You are a man of your word. Allot^ mo on behalf of the poople of Welling* ton to thank you for a dry weekend. Could you not help our representative! in London now to find something binding iv cheese 9 • DRUM DUTHIE. Also a longish note from "8.0.P." expressing gratitude for "making that mystery train hike possible last Sunday," and trusting that we "shall interfere more frequently in.- cosmic -matters to the same end." We shall certainly think soriously about it, though, wo have instructions, not to dq anything likely to impair tho ingrained urbanity of our conscientious and wellmeaning Meteorological Office.

SECOND-HAND., Dear Flage,—lt's strango how we mcaj differ"from women in the matter of buying clothes. While a. woman's main ambition' appears to be the continual purchasing of' new "finery," wo men hate to. discard our oldf suits, overcoatEi or hats. I have to admit that after five years' service my own: overcoat it father dilapidated. ; Furthermore, tha; recent persistent wet weather penetrated its many threadbare parts. It was hardly surprising, then, on my returning homo i-Qivo evening, that niy, wife should remark, "Beally! You. look a positive disgrace in that coat, and wet through again! You simply must buy a new one." I knew it was usoloss to argue. The following day I reluctantly drew out a "fiver," visited my mercer, and walked out, attired in. a new overcoat that would have made even Count Varga feel envious. Had not proceeded far, when I had occasion, to use the.inner pocket. Imagine my surpriso when I found therein two used tram tickets. Had. it been a ten-shil-ling note, naturally I would not pen. this epistle.- I can only presume that some young sheik, needing a snappy, coat for tho weekend, secured it on approval, and returned it lator after hay ing made good use of, it- In spite or tliis I retained it, although I often feel it came to me second-hand. WILLIE WEVEL. ,

RETORT COURTEOUS. Dear'-Plago,— This in. reply to brother "R.C.H.,* who, by criticising "The Super-optimist," shows himself to bo a A ehappio once wrotc> /With a critical note . .• •.. ..." ' To a chappie who wrote about spring. It was evident that He was telling him flat With conviction his verse didn't ring. Now, why shouldn't we say, When it strikos us one day, That the spring is about to return* „ For it's.those who aro bright That will set the world right, And deserve all the joy that they eariM I don't wish to offend . When this letter I send, Though I know wot what- thoughts itj may bring." So I'll finish my noto To that chappie who wrote To the chappie who wrote about springs . . ■ ■ ■ E.N.T.

: AUGUST 9—HURKOOt j ' ■_ "(Fora at-a glance.) I As "Howitzer" is, regrettably, oceu« pi,ed elsewhere for the moment, arrangements liavo been mado by this feature whereby the track work of the contestants in tlio Big Hullabaloo at tho Park next Wednesday will bo chronicled in column 8. ~ Herewith wo havo pleasure in offering the following voracious notes (B. and 0.E.): — Constable McOroa gets up the stairs at tho Court five at a time now, instead of three. He is gttting fit for tho big day. . ' .. Constable Haryey is also reported to ■be getting into trim. - . Senior-Sergoant Scott will again be to the fore with the bagpipes. (This should make the Posties? blood curdlcl) Sergeant Paine has slumped a bit ia tho selectors' eyes since ho has had. the "flu." j It is roported that Constable Alf. I Cleverly has a gallop at Anderson Park evory night. He might get tho "half" possic. Peter Munro is also a contender for tho "half" position. He'll hava to remember that the "Posties" are not hammers. . ; ' ' \ Detciitivc Murray is not available* as his time is taken np recovering somo clothing for two little people. .(Copyright!}