POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXVI, Issue 26, 31 July 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

QUID PRO QUOTA,

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLACE

Another of the valuable lessoni taught by the W.E.C. is that you canhot attain to an international perspective unless you remove your national pince-nez.

What with - the heat, and the strcnuou.snt'ss of the struggle with Perry, it was only to be expected that Cot-hut, who played in white shorts, should finish up with short pants.

At his present rate of interrupted progress, the veteran Australian aviator, J. Woods, should establish a ncv^ record for a slow-motion flight from Australia to England.

Kow that 6he holds the Ashes, the ;Davis Cup, and the shove 'a'penny and dart championships, the dear old' Mother Country baa only to win the quota battle to make 1932-33 a red letter year in her calendar. « , #' ■' • / •

TUT FOE TAT.

Stone: The western bank on Saturday afternoon last. ' Excited suburbanite (vociferously) iHutt,. Hutt—Hutt, Hutt, HUTT! TJuexcitcd urbanite (similarly): Tut» tut—tut, tut, TUT! PONTUF.

A VAIN INSINUATION,

A miniature" of the beautiful Venut of. Milo'-graces a display of fine silk stockings, insinuating that those stockings were the hose of her choice. Don't you believe it, ladiesl That beautiful goddess never saw stockings; and most certainly she could not wear gloves. ex'tka-jick.

Messrs. Forbes and Masters art championing the cause of toe New Zea« land and Major Elliot that of th# British farmer.—News item.

Some bred and but her lines, or -,MM Quota misquoted. '

Said George and' said Robert, adjust-

ing their boaters, While sipping the Major's potations, "Vouchsafe us, we prithee, not cold-

. hearted quotas, But bigger and better quotations. 3'

A-shaking his big agricultural head, I Tlie "homo grown" Major dii mutter: "Although our Miss Quota is very iU- | bred, | We waut no alternative but her." i HUGH MERUS.

PERJURY.

The recently reported passing away, of Walter Baker, old-time favourite of lovers of melodrama, reminds me of * story told me many years ,Bgo by—also lamented —Nelson Illingworth, tho sculptor. Grant Hervey, that rather rude (and rebellious "Bulletin" poet, had said some nasty things about Frances Koss, who was Walter's leading lady. This led to a horse-whipping in a Sydney street, and consequent police proceedings. Handsome and chock-full of IT, Walter Baker entered thd' box, kissed the Book with a "melodramatic fervour, and swore-to tell the truth, the whole truth, etc. The Magistrate: "What is your name!" W.B. (folding his arms and striking an attitude, in a sonorous if somewhat throaty; voice): "My name, sir, is Waltalx Bakah." Magistrate: "And what are you, Mr. Baker?" W. 8.: "An aetorr, your Worship." Grant Hervey (jumping, up, with ulifted protesting hand, from a seat'iu Court): "Perjury, your "Wor-. ship!" ■ ■ • SLIM JIM. ♦ ♦,- •" ■ '

RUSTICATION.

(With Apologies to the Egregious Kit Marlowe.)

"Mr. McCallum said that the onljj way to deal with the boys was to rusticate them. ... ."— College Council inquiry. ' / "

Come rusticate, and bo our pals, And we'll siug merry madrigals , Among the golden gorse that blooms In. Johnsonville's bweet verdant coombes, ■'. •

Where we will swing the puissant Mik» The while we brew another strike (We DON'T think): rather list the lark That soars, and collie dogs that bark.

And we will make you laugh a treat With guileless stories hard to boat About all manner of concerns— Who comes with us he lives and lesirnv

With dungarees of finest eottofi Made in. gay Nippon—cheap and rotten, Eeliof boots guaranteed to last, And COATS to turn the icy blast;

A belt of celluloid in black, With holes amain to take the slacks So, if you yearn to be our mate, Take train with us and rusticate.

Your thermos flasks pray bring along, And goodly store of home-brew strong; And we shall make the welkin spin With praises to the Pannikin. The boys from all the-cabarets In town are there, these hectic days, So shonld ye lack a ruddy mate Take train with us and rusticate. KIDIBUNDUS,

AT THE PAEK. "Howitzer" booms:— The white tigers were home and driei at the end of the first spell, but fiv» minutes before the final whistle thej; were scratching like hens. • Hutt's form looked like a case foe inquiry by' the stewards. More than. half the side could not taiso a trot in the'first spell, but galloped like racehorses after the change over. Tactics, maybe. The Old Boys were strongly attached to Lilbuvne. "in fact, they acted as though they wore after small pieoes_ of hhn its souvenirs. If there is anything harder to stop than 'Erb I want to see it. lie can't get into the Wellington fifteen either. A pity it will not be possible for the P. and T. to ring him in when they meet the Police on August £). ' Masters was like the Tax Commissioner—ho took everything and; held on to it, too! Mick Coulstou, Ned Barry, and Bill Peck pushed the opposing vanguard nearly to Island Bay. If you give Bill a peck he takes a bushel. Barry must have qualified for the big round-up on Wednesday week. He and Fell should lead the "foorce." It is stated on excellent authority that Fuller will be No. 1 for the Posties. The Blue demons have worked'up somo new gadgets to spring on the bagsnatchers. They declare they will arrest every effort tho mail boys make. The P. and T. lads aro hard at work, tackling1, dribbling, and kicking. They have speed to burn, aud if the going is linn, will set the grass alight. It is noised abroad that the first tea names for each side will bo announce^ this week. The last five will give tb* selectors a headache-.