POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 132, 7 June 1933, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

-Chronicle and Comment

Mr. Coalcs suggests tentatively tha| we hav.o turned the corner. It; feeli to us like one of those sharp hairpin1 bends. *#, * ■ With flood waters about, you would! naturally expect a weighty aeroplane! to become bogged at a place called Frogmore. . ■ # ♦ * An earnest unofficial committee ofi Auckland ' citizens asked the Financa Minister for £10,000,000 to smash, thai slump with, and got half a million, That looks to bo more within our means, * . * ■*'■'. DISTORTED VISIBILITY One possible objection to tue proi posal that city traffic officers should, wear white raincoats at night ia that motorists in the grip of carbon aonj oxide poison might mistake them fol ghosts, and pile right through them. # * « - NAUGHTY I One gratifying result of the ehifti ing back of the Lambton waiting-she'^ at the rear of the Government Print/ ing Office \will bo that visitors will b] enabled to obtain a magnificent view ol that noble wooden pile known as th' Lambton Eailway Station. .KENNEQUHAIE. , ♦ ♦ » UNPARALLELED. ' Our State- railways have an enviable record of safe operation, but last yeai on . the American railroads, with--480,000,000 passengers carried, only ona was killed in a train accident, and he' was an employee off! duty. ~ • • * THE DEBASED EAST. Remark the difference. In spite ol deficits and trade stagnation, Shanghai makes an appropriation of* £'12,000: ti keep its Municipal Symphony Orchesl tra going. Wellington, which is muelj more civilised, of course, dismisses itq City Organist. *'♦ * , LINES AND THEIR AUTHORS. < The Half-filled Grate.—S. Eininjj Colon. Outside My Window.—O. Solo Mieowj . " Farewell, Forbe-airing Ship!' '-1 Rangi Ta-Ta; "He 'Never Smiled Again. —King} Solcnin-'un. ; ■ ■ The Rolling Stone. —Agatha SnowA Moss. . '■ After Hours.—W. E. Hydc-BeveridgeS The Charge of vho (c.) Light Bri4 gand. —-A. Tenner, %of. The Sewer Ghost. —_\? an Insanitarjj Spectre. The Problem cf the U".:i employed.—■! Letz Biimpemoff. L.D.A. * * * .. SHARK GOURMANDS. One of our "fit pars" Tecords th( capture of a. shark with several ernpfj whisky bottles'inside him. Ho maj have beon a teetotaler in any case However, what we■' started out to sa'j • is this: in the innards of a 15ft tigei shark caught off the Queensland coas recently there were some interestin; exhibits. They ranged from; turtli . heads to sheep's horns, empty jam. tini to fishhooks and from numbers of crabs fish, heads, and birds' feathers to i large ball of sheep's wool. There wen . other things, of course, but the mos' interesting of all were-five seasnakes the "largest being over'five feet long. Jv"";-.' -V u» '■ ■"*"■".'"♦ :' '"' .'';"■ POSTED . . . MISSING. ' j "S.O.S."—Sorry, but "Age-old Vices'i is not quite pertinent enough. "Skel-Eton."—We think, the Mahal* ma deserves a rest. • -. , "Memo" (Taihape).—See above. YouJ P.S. was"much ;to tho point. ,','.' "Miss P."—Thanks, but your jihgM is a trifle too bumpy. . . ' "Eniden.1 "—No, sir. The "sort o( stuff" we print is what we want. , "Evah.": —Your lively weta limericH reached us too late, unfortunately! "Golliwog." —Ingeniously rhymed, buf ' rather too seriously political fo^ this column. ■■'.-.'■ "A.B.C."—Misses publication by , shade. Try again. "Ginger T."—Quite right, but nq clock ' always strikes noon. ; "X. K. Vator."—Your song of th< "banjo" has still some distaric< to go to measure up to Kipling,?s. Ij.b.—Send it along for our examinai tion. It sounds: familiar. "Hot X. Biin" and "Ho_ Hum;j'-i Both excellent, but publication-; tangly involve a hard-working somebody ii trouble. M.L. —A neat performance, but thai subject is turned out to grass for th< prpsent. . ' "Nulla Bona."—Olever, but » ♦ ; •"■ ■'».,■ -. BRRK! When the southerly is,yowling, And the heavens are dour and'scow^, ing ' J Like a pessimist with chilblains shooting fire, And you're moaning,in your .ofl\ce Knowing what a hacking tfoug&iftj To the rising of your slowly smoulder^ ing iuc, ■ , . 1 ■ When you're feeling really undone-^ Think of summertide in Londpn, j With the boaters on the Thamef stripped to tho buff, > And the streets (as we've had new* Grow so* hot they tear one's shoes off . . . • • . ' ' : ■ As if the heat itself were not enough} Should that vision fail you, brothea Think of shimmering waves thaf smother Gleaming, steaming, baking beaches where the sun _ ...Never, never ceases pelting _ Fiery rays the marrow melting, Till your hide resembles rumpsteak un derdono;' Ponder, too, .the'Eskimoses, With their heartburn and scorche^. noses, . . Contemplate Juan les Pins and olq Boulogne, ' ; Capri, Cairo, or Vienna, - j Or that back porch of Gehenna— ; The Gobi —where the heat would fry a _ bone. •. If this does not thrill ; your blood) • stream, and your patience will noli • hold out.. ' ■.- ■ ■..'•■■■• Ring a pal for a suggestion as to ho^ to keep the cold out. . . . # • - * X . " PARISH PUMP-KINS ARE DEC'O RATIVE. " .„ Dear Monsieur Flage,— . . I was gazing through the women'% page in a paper the other day, and 1 was very much astonished to see star! injr me in the face the following glaring announcement: Lovely flowers —Iceland poppies, mangolds, and hydrangeas— * and glowing radiators added to the at* traction of the comfortable Toont where tea was served by the commitl tee. Having known' several farmer* and, for that matter, several mangolds I confess that I am utterly at a losd when it comes to considering thai eminent cow-feed as a lovely flower, Perhaps some postscripters may b« able to'enlighten me.