POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 119, 23 May 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

We said long since that the "body line" battery had only to bo seen to be appreciated—or . not appreciated. Note the rumpus afc Lord's. ■» : •> •,• Afterthought. Pei-haps a more appro-; priato name for that thug heading for the Devil's Isle wtrnld have been "Lightning (mis)conductor." • ■'"•''• . Talking of the steady increase in dictators: First you fight to make tho world safe for democracy, and thea you jettison, democracy to inako th# world safe. .'_.:■ » # » It would be only human nature after all if Mr. Coates suffered a twinge of envy when he read that spectacular and. diversified list of entertainments prepared for the World Conference, delegates. , • »■ • ' • '■ THE OLD "TOOTHBBUSH." Hitler, hallowed (.') be his name, Has attained to further; fame; Young Trench "bloods" now cut a dasK , Imitating his moustaahe!, • • . • KEGULATING CONSUMPTION. We read that men, form 65 per cent, of tlic customers in Britain who buy chocolato assortments, hard centres being the most popular with them. They would be these days. The girl friend would consum > fewer ia • given time. * ■■■.'■■ I NOT AS FUNNY AS IT LOOKS. ■ Startling-looking1 announcement in * perfectly dignified sporting weekly:— A feature of this match was the uumb.er of behinds kicked. Let us hasten to reassure you. The reference is not to a vulgar outburst ot athletic spleen: they score behinds as vjrell. as goals in the Australian football code., \» • • AFTER THE EACES. "Cheer up, Alf," said a sporting wife to her husband, "we have had a good day's sport, and we are not quite broke." "How do you make that out!" h« asked. ■ "Oh!" she said, "I left a five pound ' note under the clock at home. Now, what are you looking so gloomy, about?" "Nothing," he replied, adding, after a pause, "only I found it." . "DODGIN' KNEES." .# ■»■■■» ANANIAS. Dear Flage,—The few sad lines written by old friend Ananias have upset me. I feel sure that such a touching farewell can have been ■written only by, one about to shuffle off this mortal coil. So acute is my grief that I have been moved to pen a few lines to his memory:— They told me, Aiianias, they told m» you were dead, They brought me bitter news to hear, and bitter tears to shed. I wept as I remembered how stoutly; you could lie, Hair-raiiing were your stories, and now you up and die. And now that thou art lying, my dear Ward Island guest, And lying still and lying, yet still lying1 with the best. It matters not how worthy posterity; may be, It cannot hope to reproduce a linr such as thec. MUNCHAUSEN, Baron. • .■■ *■■ . ■*■ TEA. Dear Mr. Flagc,—l iope you will not think at least that you will not say) that it is natural feminine eusscdncss that impels me again to seek entrance to the arena in the guise,of ;i torcadorina, mounted on. my very best hobby horse, and flaunting ,a cloak which did me excellent service on an occasion which you will perhaps recall. Please may I come in! Tea for wisdom and for mirth Everywhere- upon the earth; While ensuring health enduring Tea will not increase your girth. Early morning tea in bed, Tea with meat,'and tea with brcti, Tea so soothing, trouble-smoothing, Tea in. heaven when we 're dead. Tea for women, tea for mcv, Tea on each occasion when It's tho fashion. It's my passion, -. And tho pow'r that moves my pen. Tea all day,, and tea at night, Tea at any time is right, Conversation's inspiration. Of goodwill the .spirit bright. Tea will case life's thorny patty Tea both charm ami profit hath,-' Care-beguiling, leaves you smiling/ .And involves no aftermath. Tea on land, and tea at ses, Tea for all (including me) Every season, any reason— Tea and tea and tea and tea. •SEBPOLETTE. ■ .*. * * " 'ELEY!" "Howitzer," through no fault of hit, somehow missed fire yesterday. The white tigers must have delighted All Black McDonald the way they tore into Poneke on Saturday. Had Masters or Lamas>on had a right kicker on, the bloom would havo been filched from Poneke's jubilee. It was a slogging hot go all the way, and the referee was tho hardest-worked ■ man on tho ground. He was small of stature, with a ruddy complexion, a black look, and a megaphouie voice. Listen in to him:— "Give tho Poneke's a charncc to play football, 'Elcy." ''Look at those white forwards offside, 'Elcy." "Get a white jersey, 'Elcy." • "Look at them playin' pitch and toss with Ball, 'Elcy." Then, tense silence. Old Boys about, to take a penalty. A wag: "What's I the referee's name1?" The impartial bull-roarer shatters the quiet with " 'Eley! " And did tho crowd laugh! More of the " 'Eley" recitative, until Lamason prepares for a shot at goal. The silence was such you could have heard a safety-razor blade drop. "Who's the referee?" pipes the wag once more. The "roarer" bit again: " 'Elcy," he bellowed, and the roundabout crowd held its sides for tho second time. Evidently Poneke's jubilee carried with it special privileges. Vide a well-known writer, Caulton and Julian were conspicuous members of Petonc's rearguard on Saturday last. It was pleasing to see them back in town again for tho Old Boys' clash with Pnneke. Had it been Ok! Bojs' jubilee,,now, they might have borrowed Fuller for the day. Alf Griffiths wore the broadest grm at the end of the melee at the Park.Whether it was pride in his offspring or merely satisfaction at the victory is left for someone else to decide. _~