POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 70, 24 March 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment,

BY PERCY FLAGS

As from April 7 nest, fourteen Statei of the U.S.A. -will inaugurate the experiment of trying to re-float th« stranded Ship of State on waves of beer—and headache powders. , .# * * If those inastcr-mina barricade builders in Haining Street had been working on the Jchol front the Japs could not have- broken through so easily. « *' »•••'. THOSE GOOD OLD DAYS. An English tourist, on the «re of his departure, said that he thought life in New Zealand was extraordin. arily pleasant. It used to be, any. how. '•' • • • LUCK "WAS WITH HIM. A member of a well-known English family lately added to the fame of his line by being the first man to collect insurance against becoming We fathei of twins. He would have smiled a wr smile if the nurse had announced tris lets. ■■"••'. • • ' ~ HURROO FOR IRELAND! Private cabled advice received froa ' Mr. de Valera intimates that on and after the 17th inst. the reference tc ' bricks and brickbats as "Irish confetti" is replaced" by the more euphoniouf "Sham rocks"—thus still preserving th» national allusion. ■ WINSH. ♦ ♦ » POTHUNTING. Cable note from London:— The county cricket ' authorities realise that the baneful body-lina business on the top of 'dreary, defensive batting will kill interest in. cricket. Public interest be hanged! The modern English idea, is that a captain 3/' first duty is to win the match. * *■'■:'"»■' EAT MORE BACON. '' That piece of sporting jargon "bringing home the bacon" is not likely to be popular with the British farmers just now. This point involves Denmark, which is producing so much bacon that the Government recently made an appeal to its producers to consume as much of your own bacon hi y° 1 onennnnabl3r Can>" As the Da°e» have 190,000 unemployed on their hands ' \ it can easily be understood why they are anxious to have their present quota of bacon exports to Britain maintained. * •■>•■. WHAT OFtfERS? Having been unofficially instructed tt ofier for sale an almost new and thoroughly efficient.dog-collar at half if original prfce, we comply herewith at the risk of incurring the displeasure of our ever-so-vigilant advertising department. A tale of tragedy is the background to this sacrifice ... a tale with a moral, at that. It concerns an other-' wise reputable citizen of this soaring metropolis. He owned a pet hound which he cherished so greatly that ha omitted to register it. . One day an official whose duty it is to have oversights of this sort remedied looked up the dog-owner and remarked, in effect"What about it?" .' There was nothing to be-done but to comply with the bylaw, and presently the pup sported a. collar which cost 10s. On the heels of departmental Nemesis- came tragedy Three days of collar'd distraction" and the animal died from natural causes Hence the unparalleled offer here made public. Only bona fide applicants will be considered, and applications must bt accompanied by photograph. .' / *. . • ♦ not l undebstood. Dear Percy: , (With Apologies to Thomas 8., Dick ■ and Harry.) Not understood; the words of "Baneatira" 6 Who holds our hands and keeps u» from the brink; I dared to edge another half-inch nearer; And; Heaven and earth stood still and watched me sink, •' Not understood. Not understood. That gesture of ths jockey •x la tugging at.a cap already tight, Whereat I madly spurned the fleeter Locksley. • . . "Tor one who tarried on like Friday night, . Jl Not understood. Not understood. The antics of the horses Who, ere the race, plunged eafcerlY alert;' . ' Am I supposed to know a horse discourses On who will leave the course, without a shirt, • Not understood? Not understood. The story told to Gladys , ' Who must, perforce, now curry ' Sunday's bone; ■ 'Tis spiteful -stuff at best, but doubly bad is When I must eat so leprously alow, Not understood . ' T. P. JAMES EDMOND. ' ■ ■ Dear Flage, So "Jimmy" Edniond, ex-editor oi the "Bulletin" has passed! : There " must have been a tough spot in the veteran: he had been ailing off and on for the last quarter of a century. But ill or well, his fertile imagination and pungent pen helped to spice the "Bulletin's" columns years after his" retirement from the chair. Such pseudonyms as "Henry Horaeeollar"- and "Solomon Malaprop" revealed the man him/ self. He possessed a whimsy and spontaneous wit remarkable in one who had begun-his. working life in the sweets business—in Dunedin, of all places! And he was a really big Editor: for a number of years he was unusually kind to my contributions, and m those days I had what someone described as a "fatal fluency." But speaking seriously—as a leader of national causes Edmond was outstanding. He fought relentlessly and untiringly for the federation scheme. Another great battle he waged was against the selection of Canberra as a site for the' Corrtmonwealth capital. The future may yet prove him to have been right on that point. Human qualities were strong in Edmond, who, when I first called in to see Aim, appeared to my adolescent eyes startlingly like a tamed, domesticated bushranger. Probably that impression , was due to a provocatively shaped head and a thick black-beard. If he has gone where he belongs, Heaven will be the cheerfuller for his presence, because nothing under or above the sun could en-, tirely quell his bubbling sense of humour. And when he and Traill and Archibald forgather to swap reminiscences I'll guarantee that St. Peter —a jolly chap, I understand—will be\ just sticking around and sticking, around to the grave risk of prohibited immigrants "crashing" the Pearly j Gates. .. ' i - AM*S-'N'-AND£