POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 44, 22 February 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGB

Chronicle and Comment

At any rate, the Chinese should nof be. in such bad odour, with the ene-xiy; now that stink pots have'gone out of fashion as bombs. ■ *' *.■' \ ;♦' ;■"•■■ -. Remarks "Amos-'a'-Andy": I ani not surprised at the collapse of the stonewall. It. was mostly"up to putty," anyhow. :' ; ■ '• :. •. i • ♦ .■*-■'■■■ ■ DEITNITION.; ■ It is not "invasion," so far ai , Tokio is concerned, when a Japanese division moves south of the Great Wall, but it is invasion if a. Chinese army is stationed on a part of Chines# ■ soil where Japan does not want it. .."■*■■: * -V '' «. ■■•-■" HE MAY FIND AiST EXCUSE. Somebody said that wage tax would be Is Sd in the £, instead of Is, as of yore. When interviewed, Mr. Forbes denied all knowledge of the thing - "But," he added, sotto voce,' "it'i a good idea." •■■ ,- . HORIRI. '"'• '.'■ "* .'' "*" ''* ."' ■" DROPS: OF SCOTCH. V "MeAndrew" asks if we have, heani of the Scotch "philanthropist who wa» so modest that he wouldn't" allow his name to' appear in. any.... way 'when■•■he made- a donation^—not ; even ' on. tha cheque? No, "McAndrew," but there is a legend to :the effect that every. ■ Scotch father wprth his -salt insists that : his son sow Ms wild oats in tha back yard, where they will do som« good. .. . v •■;-- --■ ; :; -'. -.". '_,••■-;'. •*f •■» ■ ■ '■■•■■ :> MIGHT IS EIGHT. , \ I had a dream the other night-— ' . A dream that Might was surely Right; I saw a mediocre crowd :'- Ensconced within a legal shroud, ' Defying multitudes of men ' :' ' (•Proclaiming -wrath : with voice ani ' pen). ' ; ■ . - ;v; ■' ->v\ I heaTd the Mussolini cry, "Accept oux plan, or you shall die.'?! And though the' multitudes: -exclaimed* "Oh, Demos! Are you not ashamed?'*; The autocrats, who led the fight. Said, "Yield you must,; for Might'ikj Right." '■"■'.■■' ■■■'•■■" ' 3t | YELCv" •'-■/. , *' -»■•■■'•♦ • '..- j,, " BEATING THE AIB. -" Dear Mr., Flage,—-That article ie« cently in your news columns concern* ing .the possibility of Sir- Charlef Kingsford Smith 'being arrested for! some 'alleged breach of the, air law; seemed to me to finish, with an anti* climax. It reminded, me of the story; of the old gentleman -who wrote a long rambling letter to some relations (with! ; whom he had been staying^ regarding the loss of his umbrella. : As, , with! that "Smithy" yarn, the letter fan! into much> detail. It discussed theli "brolly's" appearance, age, purclasa value, and peculiarities, and added in* structions as to how it was'to te packed! ■ for its return journey home; Their . lastly and dramatically was a brief; P.S. which ran: "Don't trouble; rnisaing article found." -■■■ ■:" .'■ : -\ ■ . '-.. "■;.'• ".. K-J.H."' ♦ ■ ■ ■ ♦ ■. - ■♦' ■ ' - - GET A "KICK" AKD AID THE : ' FARMERS. r .". ! Respected Sir,— I suggest that hotel proprietors ds ; not read the following, ■which, is takei* from tha:"Tatler."' My reason £ot sending it to- you is that you are at»| ways first/in with, the new news, and anyhow—anything to help the man. oit the land, don't you think? Also, hayS you ever drunk milk and soda? Read on. ' -. _■ ■ ' ■■'■■■■•'. ■'■" •;' '-'j ■ and soda parties" are . thi latest thing. A natural reaction, per* haps, not onjy to'too many cocktails* but to too many cocktail, drinkers, Mrs. W——- S , the lovely Amen* can, has started them, though not <a» tirely from motives of reforming us^ since she is doing a milk cure, and' finds it easier to stick to that diet if everyone else .has it, too, the dash, ofl soda being conceded to- give it tha required snap. Believe me, the effect! is exhilarating, and the mental kiclr k hardly, to be described!" - •■■■. - ■ \ BUSTER. . ■-••' ■ * : -'■•" *"■'■ '■ '; :.■ " ; ' PRTJITY. •'■ ■-.:-.■ Oh, but she was indeed a peach: "V" The more deserved since- out of reacK Of "us,-who, by some quirk of Fate,'M Must always be of low estate. -~! Ad astra is our motto—but --!; We never seem, to dodge the rut. M-'' We met her down the sun-swept streetj A being most divinely sweet, ;;*1' Divinely fair. Her. Telvet cheek :-, Made us ... well, frankly, limp> an<l' ■'■weak.-- '";'■:.; ,"'l, A daughter of the gods was she, "1 As any connoisseur might see. -K7? Bloom, of the dawn, the noon, tha evei' Made her too lovely to believe. And those iweet curves and kindrei' blisses ".■*;■ Surely were corn for lovers' kisses.- I But one so pulchritndinous, .. ,J Of course, could have no eyes for n^ She stood there, fair to gaze upon, ;.' With, gentles, next to nothing ont ! That is.the solemn truth, we say '.[ Who hope- to go to Heaven one day,-; She stood there, glorious, rotund,. ; ,' Calm in a flimsy cummerbund. .'•-; Where were the police! "We do -iol? know. ' ■'..-.. . -' Did the mob block the street! Xot sa» And why! The heroine of this tale, | Like old-time slaves, Was up for-sale*! She, and her sisters not so round,; "I For something like sixpence the poundV -. ■•' --•■ •■: ' ■.-♦' '■'.■• : ... ' -•':'-':' ■ EXCHANGE MATTERS. v Dear Mr.;'j'lage,-i-If you are not"todf tired of all this serious exchange busii ness, here's a storyette and not tb(* serious, of: another exchange, juss by way of a change. Two WellingtoaJ men entered, a hat shop. There was i sale on as usual. One'bought a hat foi{ 15s, the other one at 175.. ■ Both felJj very generous, their wages had "not! been cut lately, so they left their old headwear as a. present for the shopi assistant, because they knew, that thai sale taxed his patience rather badly«" Both men then entered a cafe, and careV fully placed their new headgear uporf the pegs thoughtfully provided by th^ proprietor. The owner of the 15s halj finished his meal first, and thinking ex* change was no robbery, took the I~s hat and made for the wharves, hopingj the other man would not notice the> direction he had gone. A playful gustj of wind removed the hat and gently de« posited it in the harbour. A lad fish* ing from the wharf lent his fishhook and line for the rescue of the hat. \Aj passerby inquired what was going oni "Oh, just raising the exchange,'' said No. 1 truthfully. Then, having sal* vaged the hat, he presented the owne^, of the fishhook with a penny. On reach* i ing home he discovered that he had;,' given the lad a 2s piece in mistake; Hia character was like the hat, somewhat stained, and his spirits, also like the hat^ slightly damp. OhV yes! This exchange is certainly trlAy business. • r , ■ EVAH^-