POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXV, Issue 25, 31 January 1933, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Possibly one, reason -why- so many of our unemployed youths are apathetic toward a land career is the fear that a Government like the present, one is too good (to the farmers) to last in- - definitely. • .. '. . * ■*/■*' There«niust be an Ulster strain Seep • down in us. As a result of the Irish elections we seriously contemplate utterly destroying, the perfectly good Irish cypress towering up by our'gate. '' ,* - * * STEW-PID. After studying carefully the latest > Irish Free State election figures, my Irish aunt says that de Valera is A Spanish onion in an Irish stew. • MICK. •'■.*.*■ •IS THAT SO? Dear Flage.—Under the threat of leaving me, my wife insists I point out to you that inconsistency is NOT eonflned to her sex. "Uncle Sam" is seriously considering "going -wet'-?.him-self, but strenuously objects to Mi friends going into liquidation. "BING> ATTENUATED PROSPECT. •"linos-'n'-Andy": Mr. Coates de« finitely promises that the high exchange racket will put more money intj> circulation as. from the country to the townr Maybe, but my feeling is that there- won't be too much of it left in, the process after it has percolated through some five-and-six. figure overdrafts I wot of.. ■ ■'■ ' - • *.'■♦; KETUBNED UNOPENED. '. "0.8. T.". (Otaki) forwards this on» (taken from a Glasgow journal) in the hope that if published, it "will -help . to keep the Postscripts pot'bubbling." Little Tommy Tudor Titus, , . Thought he had appendicitis.' Mother send out frantic callTommy sent to hospital. . Doctors grave, doctors glum, Thumped on little Tommy's turn, Kecommended but a rope-end— • Tommy was returned unopened. We wish we could, have thought of that "rope-end"-"unopened" rhyme first. EQUALOGUES. X This is an idea : borrowed from & popular overseas literary,weekly: Each word consists of two syllables, and claes are for the single syllables and for the complete ■ word. Thus "vehicle". + "a height" = "con- ' tainer" ( would be interpreted'car -r\-. ton. =carton. Spelling, B^jl Bfonunciation,,. is the safe guide. NVSWW^ these— (1) performance -f. pron^iS i= part 6t bird. ... r (2) mark -f- permit ==' a eoleT'ir. . (3) preposition -f- poultry =fUaropeaß city. . . ■ . ■ ■ , (4) shellfish + pronoun = loud noise, (5) nail + tool = small tool. : (6) strap -j- pronoun = robber. (7) appeals + ; insect = agreeable. ' (8) obstacle -j- anger = bombardment . Perhaps some postscrijjtors would like to try their hand at an equalogne of their own. The" best will be published; .. ",.. * "y '* ■' V ■ ■'' '■ ' : B FOGGED. : ■ With .this exchange business, fearuigits hydra head and interfering with my] one-year plan, (for 1933), I took upon, myself the task of reading through at .\ lunch the other day all past effusions, confusions, orations, ultterances, and publications upon economic ills, their remedies, and the turning of. corners. But I found myself in such a dreadful impasse that acute indigestion overcame my vitals, not only in respect .to the said lunch, but also in direct relationship to the unpalatable -and underdone trips, the disagreeable .conflict of opinion; and r the .omission of digestive and fool-proof definitions in any; of: the treatises. How th© '.'treat'"* came into that word, goodness knows!: Well, this is what's biting me: what, is the Tdifferenc© (if any) between purchasing power and spending power in! the hands of —well, in the hands of whoever might have it? I've* pondered, probed, and searched, .and I'yai even put my power (4d) under my, pillow and slept on it. All. to no avail. It is with fear and trembling that I shall take my next pay, not knowing what I get. Do I get buyingpower to spendy or do I, get spending power, to buy? That is the questionl, '' .■■-■' WINSH.' Dunedin. ' , ; . THAT THEEATENED SOSTSET. (Tealty to the Plage.) Now don't you, Percy, for a moment think * : . . : That we, your. colleagues, when old age doth shed Its blanching honours on your aobla head, ' ' Shall from our- favourite hobby .ever shrink; ' ".' ' .' ■'•. \ Sooner, old sport, would we refuse all ■ drink ".'■■' ' ' Than thus ungrateful leave you 'oa that day. ; '.■•■' ■ Postscript-less, sadly pining life awayj Praps ■ far from Willis street and printer's ink: . - - ' ■ . Perish the thought!*—The much too solemn For flippant jest: -,'tis certain that we'd wince - Far less at seeing "Hamlet" minus .Prince . Than at writing'for a Percy Plage-les3 column. So, cheer up, Perce: now what about that sonnet? Here's my poor effort, you improvej upon it. v ' L.D.A. * * , .* . . LUCK. Dear Plage,-*—As an old prospector once, put it, "If your name's on it, you'll find it"—meaning, tho reef. In Townsville (Q.) a speculative resident had extraordinary, luck-. In the Golden Casket No. 331 he held a ticket which was one number off the winning prize of £6000. i Buying another ticket in Casket No. 332, this man landed the- first prize. Doesn't it look as though he were fated to win! - BILLTUM. We have, a story or two not quits so exciting, perhaps, but* • nevertheless containing a thrill. Some, years ago in Christchurch two bungalows wera offered as first prizes .in two 2s 6d a ticket art unions devoted to paying off the mortgage on Lancaster Park. A' friend of ours approached a ticket vendor (whonrhe knew intimately) to try his luck, but discovered he had only 2s 2d. Would the seller let him have the ticket, and h© would send th* full money over from -the office? 14 couldn't be done under the rules. Whiltf they talked. a working man rode xrp on a bicycle, raked up half a crown in very small silver and coppers, got his ticket, .and "rode off. Our friend returned to his office, wrote a cheque, and purchased a book of tickets. The worker's ticket was the winner, our friend missing the bungalow by one. In the second art union, a returned sol-, dier bought two tickets, gave one to, a maid in his boarding house, and tha second bungalow was hers. ■ . : ' .