POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 57, 8 March 1932, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Report has itj in effect, that our Mm* isterial Blondins: have decided- againstf trying to balance'; the Budget at the expense of a community already well off its balance. It_ takes a fly to walk a heavily-sagged tight-rope. *' * « The late John Philip Sousa is &&> • scribed in a contemporary as a man] who wasted no energy on arm-waving or gesture, and whose band followed his finger. That is not our rceollectioa of John Philip. He was quite able t& conduct with his back, using his coat* tails. " *' * ■'■■.# TEST. CRICKET. . In a relative sense, Auckland's younjjj Mr. Vivian - Consigned all his team-ma,tes to uttef oblivion. * ..*.;.'«■. .. • "WISTFUL INQUIRY. Dear Percy Mage,—Who is this com* men-tater that has been telling uh over the wireless all about the Test match at the Basin Reserve? Is his name Spud or Murphy? Is he related to Diek-Tater? Is he a Test-tater? Is he a speek-tater?,ls he a proper-taterf. If so, no wonder they call 'Jm-a-tateri AGI-TATER. * .*■■.•* • ' HERE'S HOPING. Now that more of the Lindbergh's losfi lad has been learned, We trust Salvatore Spitale, That expectorant chap, will provide al| concerned , ■ With a most-' satisfactory finale. * ■ ' * *' ' MAY BE OF INTEREST. .. "Financial Wizard'?: Be not unfaithful to your trust. The rate of interest on money in. the Common Fund' may have been reduced from 5 to 4$ per cent., but that is no argument mi favour of a general reduction. No* dear sir, by all means and! most em* phatically, no! You appear to overlook the fact that two great financial authoV rities, Sir James Parr and St. Paul^ were of one mind on this interesting matter. Did not one of them say^ "Remember.my bonds"? '. •'•,.. ■ * -..■.♦■.■ * HAMSTRING THE MALEFACTOR!] At last we know the villain of Ne\tj Zealand's piece of the depression. Thg Labour M.P. for ',. Waimarino declare* that Mr. A. D. McLeod, M.P., ex-Minis* ter of the Lands Department,.is "larger ly responsible for the state of affairs'* in this country to-day. The charge i$ so serious that we suggest a Royal Com* mission to investigate it immediately^ Ourselves, we have never' given Mrij McLeod credit* for such outstanding organising ability. '-■ ■■ J •♦■;•■ .' ■ * ■.*■■ - - ■..':■'■ ■•. RUMOUR LIES, WE FEAR. ' Dear Percy Flage,—ls the\ ramonf true that the banks are selling out?' My wife to the tune of a ten shilling note, ■■■■' . ■ ,■ : . ■'. ■'::. Is sapping from sale to'sale, She reads all the ads. and responds to the bait; ' She jostles her way through emporium^ ;.. }gieat, '' . :-'\ • ■ :'- '■ ■■ ■■-- w< _ " ' As she figh'ts7to6*th:and";na'il,'?' *"; But I still sit back, and J waifr^yeij I .wait; • .-■■; '-. I dream of a time that will bo, Of pounds that at present they -maty ■ to. inflate, ■'"■' . And furious citizens later placate V V" With arguments free. - . .- Then oh! for the sales of the wholai blooming banks. '■■. . We'll wallow in offers of gold. : I'll shove'; and I'll scratch with extra* ' ordinary vim For penn'orths of bank notes—regard* . less of limb— * When the bank notes are sold. ' - " < •■ ■■-y.E. * . * > :*•■-'.. .-'■'. :- TAFFY UP TO HIS TRICKS. From "W.J." (Wadestown) comes * clipping which tells a story that ma^ interest our Rugby ruffians—that terms is used endearingly. When the touir of the famous All Blacks of 1905 was] at its height, discussions were/frequent! concerning the mystery of their quicls heeling. In those days the so-called Press box at Cardiff was below the] level of the pitch—of the sea, sbme) argued. S"iid a keen Welsh journalist} to old Hamish Stuart, "Iknow how it's] done—they hand it out." "I doot thot," said Hamish. "Well, you watch to-day. When % see it I'll touch' your arm," said th«( other, "and youill see for yourself." .." The game had lasted a few minuteaj when Hamish nearly had his armj broken with an excited "touch." "Did you see, did you see, lbokj "Aye," said'Hamish, >«± did, bui il} was a Welsh hand!" '- .' . * * .*■■'" '' LIMERICKSHAWSt 1932 MODEL. We hope yon will all read these, ouf aloud very carefully indeed. Introducing a johnny called Jas,Who advanced most preposterous elas£ For example, he stated Thathe was related In. blood to the Jackdaw of ESac, Let us dwell for a moment oa JPS«^ • A writer of 'excellent prost He knows where to drop In its place a full-stop,, But is rather top free with his cot. It was awfully sad about Jos: There isn't a person who knos (Just betwixt me and you) • He died of the 'flu, Or through drinking a deadly corros. When the town loon, yclept Little Jnog Smote the clerk with a hot buttered scno, A councillor moved That the lad be reproved, And the motion was carried mem cno« Last of all is that hefty chap, Geo, Who toiled all day lotog at a fo. He looked not, ifc was said, On the' wine-ciip so red, But, my! how the beggar could go! * * * ' ■■ ASHEN FOR FASHION. "Beauty Sexpert" writes: "I am in! a position to supplement your note (Saturday last) on the ash blonde! craze- now ravaging would-be pulchi-' tudinous Englishwomen. The tinge is not golden, or yellow, or platinum, but' a subtle abstraction of these three. It must not be platinum, whose dull -white-ness-never really suited the English! type of beauty. There must be nol hint of red in it, and there must bai no silver threads among the ash. It i 3 (I read) 'the pale yellow with tha gleam of sunlight on the sea which, belongs naturally to the. AngloH&xon and the Scandinavian; in fact, it is purely Nordic' The treatment is simple; and harmless—just a lotion applied to' the hair. My spouse, Mrs. 8.5.," is clamouring for awash that will give her hair that 'subtle abstraction,' buij as her locks are jet black, with a sus-; picious'erisp'inthem, I am busy trying! to develop for her special needs an ear* wig chrome. If it works out, she'll bej. a sensation on the Quay one of. thesSf days. 31 " ■" ." . ■ ."■ '. ■