POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 140, 10 December 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

ti* PERCY FLAGE

The peak of «niug self-satisfaction:' the private-car owner •when the taii h« has hired iv an emergency hits aomething and the fenders crumple up. Hcit Hitler's reference to the "Versailles quacks" suggest* that h* ia. tends to play ducks and drakes with somebody if and when he attains i* control in the Fatherland.1 i Observed in a northern eoMtejnpof' ary: WHITE FOB PEN MONET. We'd write for any sort of money that was, nionpy if we only knew th» address. * * * MIGHT BE WORSE OFF. One of Phar Lap's part owners justifies sending the champion after th« £25,000 Aqua Caliente stake on tha ground that as he had beaten everything in Australia, there was nothing left to do but take him to Mexico. Our personal view is that Phar Lap is lucky that the Kamsehatka Eaeing Club was not staging a £50,000 purse next north* crn summer. PROFLIGACY. In Cabinet's search for further Departmental economies, with special reference to the Education. Department which is spending over four millions a year, we hopo that Ministers will not overlook that example of extravagance reported in last night's "Post." It is voraciously stated that the Training College had boon supplied (at the taxpayers' expense, of course!) with 2oz of swede seed . . . au amount that would plant far moro than was necessary for that institutions's requirements. When is this waste to ceasef * * ■ a - .. HONOURS EVENLY DIVIDED. Elsewhere in these pages you ,iaay r read of what happened at the Town. Hall last evening when Tom Alley and Mcesko grappled, and a, conscientious ref. was butted in the diaphragm. This is our hasty glance at the collision: It looked like a very nice partj', That meeting of Alloy and Mceske. Tom, bigger and cuter (he's a Mormon, from Utah), Never seemed to be running a reeska. The honours were parcelled up fairly, In the matter of falls, so to speak: One to Tom, one to Bill, and —to add »' last thrill — A nice one to referee Creeke. « # « OAKEN-HEARTED ENGLAND. General Smuts, who has worked with them anrl fought them, knows his Britishers. Wheu he declared that to-day. Britain's national heart is sound and that the national pulse beats well, you may accept that opinion without question. But one of the outstanding tributes ever paid to the Mother Country was that uttered by John Wilson ("Christopher North"), when he said, in "Noctes Ambrosianae" —"Minds' like ours, my dear James, must always be above national prejudices, and in all companies it gives mo true pleasure to declare that, as a pcojale, the English arc very little indeed inferior to tha Scotch"! You must agree that our use of the term, "outstanding" is no exaggeration. « ■» * : POSTED . . . MISSING. "Le S."—Quite a promising theme, but you fail to do it justice. And are all supervisors just like that? V.J.C.—Misses publication by a cat's whisker. ' "Scl."—Thanks, but we fear that ground would not bear another tilling so soon. "J.C."—lf memory serves, that play upon the river names appeared in a contemporary last year. "John Doe."—A trifle vulgar, my dear feller. "Emilene."—Seriously, a rhyming die tionary is au asset to a jongleur in 3 hurry, but so far wo haven't been able to afford one. 'Tis said that Tennyson kept one pn his bed-head desk. "H.M.T." (Hataitai).—May be worth, considering. Thanks. •5 * ■:> MAME MONOLOGUES. As per contract—Mistress1 M'Claney at your service, clients. It was Mrs. Bloggs, resplendent iv a new, tapering, petunia voile, who "started" thing- today. Now read on from here — Good Lord. . . « You gave in« quiter shock. That's what I'd call a naughty frock. It shows your lines, dear, to a T, An' goes well with your lingerce. I'll 'aye to get a summer soot As soon as Bill can land the hoot. Another thing. . '» . the moth's :a* got Into me "bathers" quite a lot. If manna don't from 'Eaven fall I'll 'aye to darn 'em well ... that* all. It troubles me to wear them thus — They make' one feel conspicuous. I'm senscrtivc about them things, I simply won't wear water-wings, An' fancy rig-outs, which, I 'old, Leaves all too little to be told. . , <• Rcfcrrin' to the form divine. Not on your life, dear . . . not fof mine! Ain't it been dull since Wensdee last I'm jolly glad that ole show's past. I polled accordin' to me plan, The Lane bind me to a man. Now we can consecrate ourselves On fillin' up our Christmas shelves. This year I 'ope to 'aye 'ome-brew . . • Jest quarts of it! And some for you; So if you like to drift acrorss— After the shoppin's done, of course— We'll all get well-'n'-truly fresh With who Flage calls 010 Gen. D»> presli. Life's 'anded us a frozen mitt, But we must make the best of it. We've gottcr face facts fair-'n'-square—•. Squealin' won't get. us anywhere. When things is lookin' black-'n'-blu© Let us jro fighting', smilin' through. WE ARE UNEARTHED: Dear Percy,— This time I write to you more in. sorrow than in angor, for quite by chanco I have discovered the reason of. . your bitter smile and'hollow laugh: I have found out, too, the cause of your respected father's favourite pose- 1 -* that stern severity of bald pate, uplifted finger, and censorious frown, what time he remonstrated ■with you as in the following lines—in short, I have unearthed herein your family;, skeleton: To Pereival, my youngest son, Who cut his sister's throat for fun, I said, "Now, Percy, manners, please; You really mustn't be a tpp.se! I shall refuse, another time, To take you to the pantomime!" Now tho murder's tnyk you may relax. Boys will be boys, and we all know; j now how you sowed your rolled oats. Cheerio, ever thine, li/D.A,