POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 117, 13 November 1931, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

The election manifesto issued by our two • Prime - Ministers in collaboration affirms that, to meet the situation, a •".'strong,'stable Government is required,". ;.; .::. ■ /'...:.," ■ ;Oue that won't -have- to lock the stable door after the .horse is. stolen, let us hope.' " ' ' ' .■ '■"■•'■ ' Beplying to the official offer that he should carry the Coalition banner ia Nelsoiij Air. Atmore-has replied courteously declining.'■• -His motto, he adds, is "measures, not men." Well, bo long as thoy aren't harsh, measures, that '.ought. to be satisfactory. . . SCHOOL GIBL "HOWLEB." Somebody wrote the other day pro» testing • against the term '' schoolboy used ia. connection with howlers. Well, a schoolgirl's arrived at the "Fairy Eing" the other day—and she enjoyed the joke as much as "Fairiel" did whon it was pointed out to her. "Capricorn," quoth she, "is the name givea to an Irish fairy cobbler!" « » #■' ' CUTTING COMMENT. Dear Percy,— The cables tell us that the new Minister of Health in. England made a. speech at Sheffield on "currency problems." He's apparently emulating the example of the medical men. They know quite a lot about."figures"l Per contra, our own Minister of Finance seems to be an expert in the use of the "knife," particularly in the operatioa of pruning down, the poor old salaried man's pound; iTours, S.E.L. .*. . * ■ .*■ ■'A "SIGHTER/," Writes "Whizz-Bang!":— We are glad we are not a candidate in, the "Wellington Central election campaign against Mr. Darroch, one of the old'" bluewater school.'' Shortly; the big guns of the British-Navy will be BOOMING there, with emphasis oa the "BOOM," and you know, saltPeter is one of the elements-that makes gunpowder fezle. Will Peter fizzle out? * •■ •* ♦ "SQUAD . . . 'SHUN!" Mr. Flage, Sir!. ,' ■.'.".' Not having received notice, in tints to attend last week 'a parade .of the General Knowledge Squad, I humbly submit my prentice efforts, salute, and wait in agony. .... When you are told youc ..wife is charming—find out whom! A modern girl stops at nothing, it it said. What about a petrol station? The key that unlocks all tongueswhisky. , , • : .. Definition, of a luxury; .Something which makes you-Jong : wh©n you are short. • . . ■',' -, - ' ' Definition of a teetotaller: Ono who' suffers from thirst instead of enjoying it. -. • ■ ( To-day's whisper in your ear: Of twgj evils choose the one you enjoy most. Aye, Percy ... . te salutatl ■ '- ,EBO& « # ♦ . ON TENTEBHOOKS.. r •••Eeport has' it that .-the manufacturers of~Fren'ch perfumery and other aids to the lure of beauty, anticipating1 a system of tariffs-'that- probably will hurt them, contemplate setting up in. .business in or about London. The proposal to prohibit luxury imports into England has. naturally caused France great concern. Great Britain.is .France's.best customer, taking .as she does '.nearly oneii'f th of the total French! more than. any other ■ country, in .th> world, and much more, than all the. French colonies and protectorates put together. The value of .French exports to Great Britain last year was about £55,000,000, and articles that might be considered luxuries accounted for H per cent, of it. No wonder that, in. view of these ..facts and figures, the French Chauvinists are waiting to sea ■how the lion jumps. * » * MALTING. MOMENTS. . This business of a fall in the cost of living, i.e., hops, is good news . . • if you feel that way. With the-summer and its dust coming on, too. Personally, we have a preference for phateau Iquem—is that how they say it?—but the bottles are not saleable,, unfortunately." Come along .• . ...it's our "shout.'' -Hero's how —and. of ten. . . ,Lo, the sun .-..: .- • . . Of fortune hid ■ . .. . In his : cloudyPyramid • - ■Breaks .at last .. . . The dawn is here. , ' : . ' Beer is cheaper . . Down with beer!' Beer can be " ": ' . So beautiful Lovingly ■ . Drawn straight and cool ■ From the barrel ■ Amber clear. Blow the froth off . . • Down with beer! Life is better ■ Worth the candle When you get a ••..•.'.■ Cheaper "handle." ■ . Bend your elbow, . Baise a cheer, ■ Up with Bacchus,. Down.with beer! One half-crown : •Will" "throw a party": : Jot that down At once, my hearty-. ■ ■ At two-thirds : • The usual price, sir, . ■' • ■ ■ •Beer is ever So much- nicer! ' ■ *.* . ' * . ELECTIONEERING. BXTBA•O'EDINAEY. ■ Presently the.barrage of thp electioE campaign . will be upon Us in-.'its concentrated fury;- Usually' our..'politicians arc. not "Big' Bill" Thompsons or Sir Osu-ald Mdsle.vs '.whch it comes to hit-'em-under.-the-lieart publicity.. Talking1 of Moslcy—ho is reported to' liavo broken all records of the kind, in 1922 when ho issued in booklet form a a address, of 5000 words to the doctors of Harrow. In 1900 Sir Charles .Dilko's address, as it appeared in th» advertising columns of the newspapers, consisted of : the single sentence:' "Gentlemen, I solicit with confidence the renewal q>" your trust!"'" Still briefer was. the .address bf .Sir .Elliott Lees to the', electors .of Birkenliead iv 1900 during the Boer War." It consisted of tho one word,' "Pretoria!" Ia the General Election of .1892 the' Gladstonians adopted as their slogan, "The flowing tide is with us.". Ono of the Liberal' candidates, Joshua Bowntroc, placarded his. town; with: "Vote for Eowntreo and the Flowing' Tide." His opponent, .Sir George . $itwdll,. replied With a poster inscribed: "Vote for Sitwell and Dam the Flowing Tide!" Sitwell_ sat well. Carlyle, when standing on his doorstep in Cheyno Eow, Chelsea, was convasscd "for -hss vote by Dilke. The sage replied i]^it he had never given a vote in' his life. . . and we can quite lißlievo it. Another life-long abstainer from the polls was Lord Kit*, chenu-r. " "'•;