WINDY.

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 106, 31 October 1931, Page 19

WINDY.

First Catty Woman—"l wonder how old Mrs. Peters really is?" Second Catty Woman—"Well, if she had a birthday cake it would take a cyclone to . blow out the • candles."

Tho editor of a paper received a long poem from a gentleman last week, and wrote to the lank-haired specimen a mild remonstrance.

"You really must send short verses/ 1 was the'-'wind'up of the' editor's exordium. ■ The reply was— .. . ... "I enclose you, a little, thing; it is short and to the point: "The Ballad of the Tradesman. "Trust, 'Bust.'1"

Mrs. Clatter was notorious as the village gossip. There was' little she did not see or hear, and she knew the inner history of every resident. ■ One morning she met the local- builder in the grocer's shop.' • ■ The builder remarked: "I saw the nave in the new church this morning, Mrs. Clatter." . Mrs; Clatter nodded her head gravely and said: "No need to mention names— I know 'oo you mean."

With an air of great determination the woman walked into the photographer's studio. .. .."Good-morning, madam: what cau 1 have the pleasure of •?" "These photos of my husband," began the woman, banging a packet down ou tho table. "They're- simply.. disgraceful. Why, he looks just like an ape!" The camera-man's pride was wounded. "Indeed," he replied icily, "but you should have thought of that before you uiurriqd. him."

The old actor was boasting of his past achievements to the very bored members of the club. At last one of them put a question to the actor. "Look here," he said, "you may be wonderful and all that, but I do fairly well in business, and I think I have more to be proud of'than you. In fact, I've been given an illuminated address, and that is more than you can say." The actor smiled. "Oh, ho, it isn't, laddie!" he said. "I also have had one." "And on what'occasion was that? inquired the other. "Once when my lodgings caught fare, said the actor.

She bad just accepted him, and they .were blissfully, discussing the "might have beens." ' . . ' "Darling," ho inquired, as they guzed from the shore at the pier, in the confident'tone of one who knows what the answer will be, "why didn't you accept that'little donkey Jones?" _ "Because," she answered, dreamily. I loved another."

It was the night of. the grand concert, and approaching the hour .it which it had been advertised to sturt. The promoter had hired a big hall, and exjiected to lViako a fine profit. At 7 o'clock the money-takers, tickettakers, and stewards were assembled. "Money-takers all ready?" asked the promoter. "Yes, sir." "Ticket takers all ready?' "Yes, sir," . . • "Stewards, stand by the door! "Right, sir." ' "Now open the doors.' • ■ " The iron doors crashed open. Two small boys entered. "Please, mister," said a tiny voice, can we both come in with this free pass?"

"Well, I can't say mine is very generous," put in her companion. "Here's an instance," went on Mrs. Green. "I gave him a large, box of cigars for his birthdajvand, do you know, he only smoked one of them and gave the rest away to his friends."

Mother: "I dou't think you did right in inurryiiig again so soon after your husband's, death." . . . ; . Daughter: "I'll wait longer ucxt time, mother."