POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 104, 29 October 1931, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

fY PERCY FLAGE

As Joo Stalin's official journal will probably announce it— '■England goes BED WHITE 3i!f Bill*. * ■...:♦ ~ '* THREE HEARTY BRITISH CHEEKS. It is good that Mr. Thomas Has not yet been taken from us. And that Mr. Ramsay Mac Comes triumphantly back. « ■.■*■■.■ * HIGHLY COLOURED. Also apropos Iho massacre of the British Socialists, this may be worth' considering:— Esscnco of election news: "Britain's Rods have got tho blue*.** Or alternatively: Red to begin with, they turned white when results came to hand, and finished up blue. .. if not purple. « * ♦ ANTI-CLIMAX. Speaking editorially, the "Manchester Guardian" says that "the new Parliament .will be Protectionist to th« core. Mr. Mac Donald's tragedy it just beginning." Well, now— Though England is saved from disaster, Don't think for one moment we're pettish If wo say it's a shame—for which Baldwin's to blame— They have fractured ' Free-tvadeto sacred fetish. * # ■♦ , CASUALTY LIST. Nemesis for poor dear Arthur — lie has come a' purler. . .* rather. Margaret Bondfield, Alexander, Morrison, are free to. wander Disillusioned, meditative, Shorn, of worries legislative. Oomradc Clynes is of the number Who've been' handed a cucumber, And there will be little solace In his vote for Edgar Wallace. He pursued the haughty villain, But tho villain did the killin'. Lloyd ap George's rather chequered. Picturesquely-public record 'Has received' another dinge In this fierce eleotion binge. Still, the English middle classes, Always were, and will be, asses. » • * SMILEFUL SIGNS. " 'Oraee" spotted ■' these in kisj travels: A butcher's, intimation on his window. PINE WEATHER MUTTON. "Not broa by the Meteorological X>«< partnient," comments " 'Oraee," whtj carries on thus— Anent your tramway notice the oth«^ evening. Do you know that the Aueky land trums all bear this notice on thel platform: "7 STANDING W PULL INSIDE." Noting that "full inside," I promptly got off. ** ' • LISTEN IN HERE. Councclor Plage.—From the "Post 1? I see that the relaying of Customhouse) quay is contemplated. Now, Sir, whe^ will this exploitation of public pro* perty cease? Admittedly tho K.B. Co. is to bo commended in placing such; thorough-fare before their patrons, but who knows it this is a suitable key for tho mike* Oxio can appreciate that this! particular broadcast would be streeti ahead of somo of the local orchestras,. so far as percussion instrument* are) concerned, would also be particularly strong in tho wind section, and coulig even boast some (h) oboes. However, who gave the necessary per* mission? And are we sure that the] "brass" will, finish up in the Cit* Treasury* • ■ P. 0.8. (Pave or Bitnmes.l *♦ ' • MAME MONOLOGUES. We have never known the pride ofl Alma Lane so excited. The triumph of tho Nationalists in the Old Dart has thrilled her to the bone. There is) something about these Britisher* thatj appeals oven to those who laugh at them occasionally, and remember Beranger: "In spite of their hats being .„ so very ugly, Goddam! I love thti English." 15 someone gave mo 'arf a chance , j I'd do '■em all a song-'n'-dance, ' .' Or stand upon me 'cad an' sing: "Bolshies be damned I Gawd save that ,King!" A cupper tea, quick. If .the news Don't charm away the whole worldly blues, ■ ' An* put a kick in things, why then, . I'll'never look on gin again. Dyer know I read tho other day Of -where that Kipporling bloke did sajj 'o\v Allah niado the Henglish folk Maddest of all mankind. 'E spoke - A spoonful of tho. dinkum .stuff. ■I'm 'ere to claim that's true enough, But mad the tight way . . . just an ast] until a crisis comes to pass, Then, when 010 Nick is on the road, Our weary Triton bears the load. Don't it hexcito one through-'bA ■ through . ... That Hengland to 'orsolf stands truef Thoso Reds who would 'cr lape-'ffV wreck 'As got it, dearie, in the neck, And—leaving not a bit to chance~ ; Also a bootin' in. the pants. ■ It's "Good night, Nurse," for thett« too right. t They set out frothin' for a light; I think they found it,.dear, an' how. *^ I'll bet they gotter 'eadacho now. An' if the Froggics an' the Yanks, Who look liko closin' up their, rank*, 'Avo got so far to bluff theirself They 'aye our Hongland on the shelf, Also 'or back against the wall— They'd better think again, that's aflg Dear, are you game enough to stand An' toast our gallant Motherland! *■* ■ * ; HINTS TOR DOWNIE STEWART. The English taxpayer is hard hit ttj round these days, but,1 as a contempow ary writer points out, there may be 4 grain of consolation in the fact that somo of the aforesaid Englishman's an« cestors paid taxes which Mr. SnowflW*' hns overlooked or not bothered about. For example, the younger Pitt taxed hats, hair powder, watches, candles, hearths, windows, horses, female ser» vatits, births, christenings, deaths, and burials. It is said there are plenty; of houses in London and the provinces with show windows which were bricked up by an earlier generation of tax dodgers. Tho hair powder tax, so tha story runs, was also responsible for men going into tho short hair fashion. Up till 80 years ago there were substantial taxes on newspapers' and »d« vertisements—in Franco advertUem«nts still are taxed. Two hundred years ago English bachelors and widowers were taxed, as they are to-day in France, Germany, Italy, and Jugoslavia. In France unmarried women of over thirty pay a State, tribute for tlioiv celibate freedom. It was Robert: Peel wlio first tai.ed incomes, and his I impost began :\t tlio rate of 7d in the pound. To-day that tax has become almost unbearably heavy , . . but itlH England "carries on."