POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 102, 27 October 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment •V PERCY FLACE

By Korry, that feller Croupier's the chap to rake in the shekels. « m # Now that Messrs. Hoover and Laval, from their pyramid of gold, have decided on the best medicine for an ailing world, wouldn't it come as an anticlimax for Britain's National Government.—assuming its success at the poll to-day—to start a system of tariffs? * * '* News note from a Wild West journal. "The word went out to New York's police foree vto bring in Vincent Coll, gangster, dead or alive. Police want to ask him somo important questions." Yet they say that dead men tell no talcs. •::■ * » SELF EVIDENT. Judging by the increase in the number of motor accidents in this country (vide "The Post"), modern autos need little attention. Every part is foolproof except the accelerator and th« steering wheel. ' » n * 191-1 AND 1931. Time's whirligig rattles round, s trail go things happen, and curioui changes are iver before us. We go back to ISI4 for the beginning of a striking example of men changing with the times. In tliat year Arthur Henderson, at the height of a national crisis, accepted a seat in the War Cabinet, while Ramsay Mac Donald took up r strong pacifist attitude, to the disgust of all right patriots. To-day the positions are arrestingly reversed. It is Ramsay Mac Donald who stands at his post, and Arthur Henderson who runs away. ■::- #• * MORE MIXED METAPHOR. Apropos that mixed metaphor unconsciously perpetrated by our High Commissioner, a client has retrieved three other luscious examples from an unstated source. A young speaker in the Commons concluded an impassioned speech in the following ecstasy of patriotism: "No, sir; the British lion, whether he is crossing the plains of India, or climbing the pines of Canada, will never draw in his horns or retire into bis shell." No. 2, which shows that even the most distinguished of us are liable to similar slips. Lord Morloy, when speaking at Oxford in 1909, stated that "Indian reforms had at length come to birth after being for many months on the anvil." And it is on record that Ramsay Mac Donald once referred to the empty graves whero all our ruined industries lie." * * * TO CORRESPONDENTS. "Truth v. Fancy.—An excellent jingle, disqualified only because toward the end it gets on to- debatable ground. And you must not write personal letters to the dame M'Clancy ... it's not fair to Bill. "Percy Pienee."—Thanks. We do need assistance sometimes. "Y. Knott."—As long as those fair young things did not denominate us Percy Flash-in-the-Pan, we're not upset about it.. . . . "Billo." —A creditable first attempt. The fourth stanza had the others well Croupier'd. Have another shot. "Persecute." —Couldn't make head or tail of your quirk. "Eros." —That anecdote is bright, but a trifle risque. J.H.D. —Flashes here and there, but for the rest .. . ? Posted back as requested. "Dimity Belle," —You've the. wrongidea of things. As well blame the New Zealand Welfare League for Russia 's Five STear Plan. "M.N.T."—Your eulogy admirable in sentiment, but deplorable as" t« prosody. »"* * \ PASSED WITH HONOURS. Dear Percy,—l am ambitious to .ioni the General Knowledge Squad. Not that I have any general, or other knowledge; but, I would Jiko to be able to write the letters G.K.S. after my name. In support of an application —this_ is the application—aro the following acceptable?? , , ■ A man wrapped up in himself makei a small parcel. Work! Thank God for the might of it, The ardour, the urge, the delight of Work that springs from the heart'i desire. Setting the brain and the soul on fire. Oh, what is so good as the heat of it, And what is so glad as the beat of it, And what is so kind as the stem command, Challenging brain and heart and hand? What is so pitiless as the lack of itf Work! I said I had no general knowledge. As an application to join the intellectuals (sic), this reads pretty sick to me. Am I elected? Yours ever, EROS. * * * CARICATURES. I saw a flower like to an owl, On a camellia tree; It slowly swayed, and sideways turned* And wisely looked at me, I saw a tiny kitten face Within a pansy bod. I stretched a hand to gather itIt purred, and shook its head. I saw a monkey at .he Zoo — A littlo wizened one; Where had I seen that face before? A baby" . . . crawling on th« floor. ... A snapshot of Mo! —aged nearly four! God has a sense of fun! "BETTYKINS." HOW TO "MUSCLE IN." . it is authentically reported that' Al Capono's forces have already "muscled in" on the bootleg traffic in 'Frisco. The first attack has been made through the bottle business. Bootleggers purchase their bottles, labels, and other supplies from "legitimate" houses. These houses handle no liquor, but they sell the bottles. Twelve bottles, with label and a case, aro called a "setup." And now for an idea of how the Capouo gang do the "muscling in." One such "agent" walked into a. store and announced that he wanted to buy the place. A price was named, and this "torpedo" hauled out a roll of bills and paid over in cash —just like that. Now we quote: "Then the 'gorilla' asked the ex-owner if he'd like to keep on doing business. When tho dealer said he would, the fellow said: "'O.K., but you buy your bottles and labels from me from now on, and you sell at my price. I'll begin by soiling you back this stock, and the price of .set-ups is 10s (formerly 7s) from now on.' '" ' Nobody'll get cocky about it,' said the dealer. 'Anyhow, I won't. I'm a peaceful gont, trying to get along, and if I can help it they won't find me flown by Half Moon Bay somo morning