POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume 32, Issue 32, 6 August 1931, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chromck and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

It is just possible that before the Munguna ease ends somebody will bo wonclciing whether the game was worth the ( s ) caudal. fc # ' * "Cum giano salis" fires this at ul as a prime example of swank: —"Wanted to Sell, Second-hand Car for £1010. Apply .»» v * .»■■• .- N «■ BOOMERANG. When tJemar<[ue, author of that wellknown Passion Play, "All Quiet on tha Western Front," broke a German lamppost when motoring, the police refused a proffered £10 but accepted a promise of Kcmarquc's books for the police libraiy. It seems to us that if Erich keeps his word, he'll deserve to ba arrested on sight next time lie snaps a light standard. * * * HUTT OB MABIST? As most of our Rugby clients had a good win at the Park last Saturday, thanks to "Howitzer" in this column we are going on with the game. If you desire to know who (or what) is the best bet to-moirow, watch this space on Friday for the ,last word on the big match. ."•? Howitzer U and his staff of track-watchers are specially recommendea by Mr. Eobert Paton . . . which, speaks for itself. No telegrams answered unless reply paid. * ,« ■*. NOW, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. Dear Dis Perce, — I remark that you are disinclined to take the Shaw seriously. I'm with, you on that, but for those who do, hero is a bit of his philosophy (from "Heartbreak House") which might help to explain tho provocative ebullition inspired" by Shaw's visit to Sovietland: "I never was a good son. .or a good brother or a good patriot in - tho sense of thinking that my mother and my sister ,and my native country. were better than other people's simply because I happened to belong to them." How's that? ' Irreparably yours, SHATJVINISTi •. • • •- WARNING. "Audra' M'Haggis" keeps a closa eye on the silver currency. "I notice (he writes) that bankers up Auckland way are restricting the issue of halfcrowns with the object of building up a reserve of those coins for the busy Christmas season. Let them stop at. that. If they start hoarding up threepenny bits for any purpose whatsoever* I warn them .frankly that it will seriously interfere with my attendance at the kirk." • *■ : . ■■■. •' • • BELIEVE IT OK NOT. ,_., As retailed to us by "Pius Charles* - in his inimitable manner. "It happened when Al Smith, then Governor of Noo Yoik, was the Democrat candidate for the Presidency and campaigning in that direction. At one stage of the tour Al felt like a bit of huntin' as a break from politics, and he called up bis'secretary (or something) on a longdistance line to ask him to send along the boss's gun. Now, Al was not exactly of tho snper-literate. Even the late Edward Bok, who was not .fussy • on: such matters, would have shied at Al's English, and that's saying quite' a lot. Well—Al called up the secretary' and said: 'I want my gun.! 'What!*^ replied, the secretary. 'I want my,' gun,' Al repeated, with' some"' em.-, phasis. 'You want . .«' the secretary.l, began. 'I'waat my gun,' shouted Al: "' 'G' for jaundice, U for Europe, N for., pneumonia.' " * ' * ♦ -m. MAME MONOLOGUES. ' _''; - Tour- sympathy, most noble -clients. , What follows emanates from a sick =. bed. Not that the bed wrote it, *>£,„ . course. What we wish to convey to you is that the adorable Mame is laid aside ' temporarily owing to some bargee's skates ' bolting with him. Which'means . . . but better xcad. on, if you' can stand the suspense. • Dear Flage, I'm writin' this in bed, A lump of ice upon me 'cad , » Achin' all over . . . one big bruise. You oughter. see it, with its blues 'N' blacks 'n.' purples . . . iff % sight.: It was like this. The other night, ■ Seekin' a new. sensation, I Thought I'd go skatin', dinky die. I ain't quite new to it, you knowj I useter do it years ago, An' though me footwork 'ad its faults,. I could cut figure ones, an' waltz. The band was playin' seducively, An' pfr>l set, spry as could be. Jest, as X; strnck .me racin'; gait Some lumberin' loon barged at me straight, i Outer control ... no more I know, Excep tin.when they brought me to I murmured (an' I watched 'em grin):, "What made the silly roof fall inj" ' So 'ere I am, perusin' this To you, believin' folk would miss Me cheery ho (an' that's no boast). If it was not in Thursday's "'Post."Bill sez 'c doesn't think it grand,But then, 'c don't 'arf hunderstand. There's one thing, Perce, I tell you flat, Bill's-a bit weak beneath hees hat. 'E's pretty rough, but for hees sakeI 'aye to hadd hees 'cart is }'ake, Than which you can't say nuthm' mat* Of anyone, the rich-'n'-pore. I seen your scrap of' hokus-pokus About ole Springtime's baby croons. I'd love to see its golden cup Choekfnller glistenin' dew, right up. The bare idea makes it a sin To think of even smellin' gin. With which I 'opes you're keeptn' fit. Are" -we down-'cartedt Not a bit! * .»• ■ * STATE ABT UNIONS, From a helpful Karori client comes a clipping which has a bearing on the morality of State art unions. England's hospitals are languishing (we read) bocause subscriptions have fallen away. Ireland is improving her hospitals and building new one 3by the aid of lotteries which draw hundreds of thousands sterling from English investors. Not long ago the "Daily Express'? offered a series of prizes for letters for and against State sweepstakes. Hero is an, interesting and unusual one:— I feel qualified to. pass an, opinion on sweepstakes, because, being over fifty, have never had a bot on a racellorsey drank intoxicants, smoked tobacco, nor cheated the- railways. A member of the Church of England. Many peoplo have known me all my life and never heard me swear. Have brought up a family of four. A firm believer in tho Ten Commandments. I have maintained for many; years that there can be no harm in sweepstakes provided the promoters are not allowed to wanglo the funds to their personal advantage. , We wonder what Mr. Bamsay Maej Donald,thought ; of that letter, ; .'""