POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXII, Issue 9, 10 July 1931, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

BY PERCY FLAGE

Chronicle and Comment

Remembering those careless seagulls which were mutilating our parks yesterday by walking on. them, wo hopo that the Treutham course will be. covered with tarpaulins, otherwise tho track, as well' as the punters, will be cut up to-morrow.1 > . « ■. • ■ Koine irate legislator-lias designated Mr. Lang the "biggest darned scoundrel in Australia." That's a line mouthful of invective, but we'll -wager two milk tokens that Mr. Lang's private-opinion of Mr. J. H. Thomas, Dominions Secre* tary, will dwarf it into insignificancy and then some. «■ ■■■■ ■: ■■ ■* ■•■'■ * TAKE THAT! ' As reported in a contemporary: ' Mr. Semple: "Well, I will withdraw it and call them a heterogeneous conglomeration of political misfits." Our personal opinion of Mr. Sempla is that if he is not a syzygy he is at least a metaamidopheiiylparamethoiy* quinolin. So there! ■#'-.■ * :'■* ISN'T IT SO? - You have read about that clash between', the N.S.W. Governor aud tha State Premier? Well, then — Anenl that Upper House impasse: It shows there's something an •> name. Only a turnip-headed ass Would say Sir Philip was nol Gsuilo. .»•'■■,.■• ■ ■ ■■. » THOSE TESTS. Arthur Mailey remarks that if "tha Now Zealanders beat the Englishmen in the Tests it will bo a tragic blow to English cricket, since three Dominion* will have achieved .that distinction." At least. it would assist to modify that patronising attitude of many elderly; members of the M.C.C. towardl eriekei; in. this country. Anyhow, ,even if, to our delight, Lowry's boys should triumph, or break even, in tho big games to come, John Bull will still be able to comfort himself with the fact that he holds (1) the Empire billiards championship, and (2) tho world'f dancing '(ballroom) honours. * » * DAY OF DOOM. Those simple-minded . Turks aud Greeks who stayed all ono night a couple of months ago expecting the world to end wore no doubt pleasantly, disappointed, when no apocalyptic fac»> appeared in. the sky proclaiming in tones of thunder the last judgment. Since the dawn of history tho end of tho world has been foretold^-rand always, with the- same result, thank goodness. In 1919 a Michigan professor prophesied that sunspots would destroy the earth on 16th December o£ that year. Tens of . thousands of Negroes des'ertcd the fields and factories on. 15th December and spent tha night on their knees.-, Minbrs refused to work,' arid confiderido tricksters in-' du'eed one pious" did1 maa to" pay, £3 for a front seat at a "Day of. Judgment meeting." . Tho following • day Professor Porta, alouo Was missing.-. ■. No ono was sure that he ever .existed. The same year a prophecy of down was made public in England, based'ion*observations at the Pyramids, ru It wa» from the same source that a recent leeturor in' ■Wellington1 obtainedl:(data (he averred) on which to base a. prcidictioii that next year we are to have' Ajinageddon. In 1925 colonies oft. '^worldenders" were formed in the ;'U.S.A., and on the night of 6th " February thousands climbed to tho hilltops. ,Six girls committed - suicide at 'Cleveland, Ohio. Some people made fortunes ouc of muslin for "ascension gowns"/.; Capitalising the Day of Judgment! . « » » TRENTIIAM SPECIALS. We refuse te visit Trentham to-mor-row except comfortable t/ansport i« provided for us there and back, and we are granted the freedom of the stewards' bar, with the right to choose our own eonvivialists. But we have looked over the list for Saturday -and discover these evanescent trifles— Closely we've scanned the Trenthani card, And found it as per usual —hardl There's nothing'stands out .on the list Larger than, say, a glow-worm's fist. And helpful omens, such as these— Coolmint and Winter Day, Fresh Breezy And Water Power —arc, well, just fairj There's not much inspiratioa there, If Corneroff aud Navalio And Goshawk give" the thing a go. Should royalty appeal to you, How can you pass the bold Prince Lv, Prince Val, Boyal Opera—there's a name!— Royal Finance, and Eoyal Game, And Royal Saxou and the Dark . . Prince from tho North —a real snud- - lark Who likes it deep; talking of which We come to Mount Boa and High. Pitch And Eascal, too, who loves it splashy, As do.Spalpiko and Apache. The Sun may shine, a Nightmare may | Break loose in the broad light of day. As Trentham is a nightmare for • Punters and optimists galore, That seems a tip as good as any On which to do your last brown1 penny. *'* • . 1 EXPENSIVE OCCULTISM. The saying that a half-wit" and hit money arc soon parted doe* not apply, only to some of our am folk. Take, for example, the case of M. Comola, a most serious and highly-rcspeetcit citizen of Lyons. He came upon us advertisement telling of the riches that would come; to those who would consult a renowned Egyptian fortuneteller then in Paris. hi* imagination (and cupidity) aflame, took the next train to the .capital, entered the boudoir of tho lovely Oriental, and was "profoundly moved" (his own. n-ords) when asked to «e»t himself beside her on the divan. (The u«u*l hypnotic slumber followed, .put o< which burbled a "spirit" voice, advising Monsieur that he would meet gomeone called Jules, who would indicate t» him how to make a fortune' rapidly. But Monsieur must", however, deposit £2000 as security, and evidence of good faith. "A bagatelle of £2000 to gain a vast fortune," murmured th« musical voico of the beauteous sleeper. Comola returned' to" Lyons, and, after consultation with his wife, went back to Paris with all he possessed, £400, was introduced to Jules, the money was handed'over for investment in a'marvellous dc.il with the Turkish Goveramcut, and—well, you can guess the'rest. At latest reports the pulchritudinoui Egyptian and her boy friend w«r« »till leagues ahead of the polite.