POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 107, 8 May 1931, Page 6

POSTSCRIPTS

■_ Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAGE i , LOOK OUT! ■ Alluring sign, calling to ~ creatur* comforts, in a traffic-loud street. BOARD AND RESIDENCE! ' , • Well, you can't say you were not warned. ® i ■ . ... LANGUAGE! , "Kenny the Kelt" again:— . - One of our public prints says;—"lt will-probably bo towards #ho end of the mouth before the now Mayor and City Council are sworn-in. The reasoi for this is mainly statutory." It will not bo long after that bcfor» the new Mayor and "City Council ar» sworn at. The reason of this will bt mainly ratepayers' disillusionm»BS» *■. # : # OLD-FASHIONED. Wifely candour, us revealed in * contemporary. "I have always'made it a rule to sit up until Mr. X returned ' at night, in order to see how ha came lipme." Did he come, or was he fetched! *' ♦ « HOW'S THAT? When Dempster topped tho century," It must have boon his one dread Fato would apply the "cut," and h* Would miss his second hundred. * . « '■■»,. ■ RHYME CRIME. Please, Mr. Editor and clients, it wa« "R.C.H.," who instigated this—and usl He begged rhymes for '' pint," " wolf,'' and "tenth," and we* lamb-like, added, "walrus" and "currant." Ora pr» nobis. Hero's the first. — Dear Percy,—You would not expect me to sign this! Yours, etc., . ANON.' Dyspeptic, I, to soothe uneasy qualm* Besought my doctor for some healing s> balms! Said" he, reduce your liquor drinkinjf vile; Let wine, nor beer, nor spirits you be« guile, j. But lest the shock-to you should\bo too great t With you, perhaps, I would capitulate, And for your ease, allow just one* a 'month ' One tot, no more, of a strong drink, that stunn'th, . ■ • And while dilating on the ills Of booz» This opportunity's too good to lose! To find a rhyme for a_ froth-blower's ' Pint \ Needs one whose nature must be fairlr riant. No laughing, matter this, you will agree, So pass tho buck; it's up to you, not me. ~ Curtail .penthemi moral, thus leaving ' penth— The Greek word "pento"; -just ■ half your own word "tenth"; Homi for half, meros, which moans * part— How's this for rhyming, sir! Please hay» a heart! ■ s So lot your readers cease the cry ,or "wolf" * And patronise the ancient game of golf! * * • TOO SUGGESTIVE. They have.Volsteadiscd radio gurgle* in, the States. Fearful of offending "dry" listeners—such as they are!— one of tho Pacific Coast broadcasting mandarins has banned bottle gurgles from the Coast network. It all arose, out of an entertainer, broadcasting the merits of a soft drink, pulling a cork, thus creating an illegal suggestion! So now tho pollyannas will be able tomasticato that soft "stuff" sans gurgle. We pass it on, without verification,-that radio listeners will bo given a. silent minute in which to do their. own gurgling after this, and the programme will resume from there. * ■■•''.» . DENATURED. NATURE. That infant born with a believed-t»-be sterling silver tooth has the laugK on tho babe whose first bellow revcali a" spoon of the same metal where, later on, he will cat. If Nature keeps up these pranks, we may yet hear of aa extremely new pup with hydrophobia' or . ... but we mustn't anticipate. Read on—if you can stand it. Ma TS'ature is at it again With persiflage shameless'and frank, .-Startling the simple, and giving a pain To the smug biological crank. It looks to be getting that way," That you never can tell what the dame ' Will do next to knock long-cherished % theories astray, And add to the fear of her name. She has built a canary that sings . And lays eggs when it feels so in-. , : clined, ' And among quite'a number of wonder-* .. ful things, ~ 'A' frog that can see, though, it • blind! ' « Another,smart bit of her fun Is a flower —it'grows in a bunch.-—-Which is boy when it faces the bright; morning sun^ But changes to girl after lunch! We interpret that real silver tooth ■ As a sign from Dame Nature to thoss" Who would play tricks with her, to take* care, or in sooth They'll be sorry they trod'on her toes. ■. Once roused, sho may give us to drink A draught we must quaff to the dregs, Such as—may Heaven help us, then!—' rosily pink, Inherited, dear, wooden legs! * * '*. * EDWARD P. ' Occasionally, tho Prince of Wales 1l habit of hunting falls . and behaving like an ordinary confirmed, well-to-do bachelor, may perturb xioker-backcd John Bulls; nevertheless, His Highness has honour in liis own country—and elsowhere —for such 'things as- tact and sincerity. The caro with which he prepared for that mission to the Ar- • gentino is a case in point. .It was apropos of that traded and diplomatic expedition of his that one of America's most noted newspaper-women —she is past marriageable age, too— was moved to pay the Prince this pretty compliment: "If tho inconceivable should happen and monarchy should pass out of English life, the name of Edward AVindsor would never have to be enrolled on the dole. list. Not a business house in the world but would be overjoyed to number him among its bag men. Even now, whil» he' is still in the amateur class1 as a drummer, he has established a standard in South America that other foreign' competitors in the South American trade will find it hard to meet.'? A j human chap like H.R.H. would appr**/ ciata that tribute.