POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 72, 26 March 1931, Page 12

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment BY PERCY FLAG! LABOUB M-OBSTBUCTION. \ ♦ # ♦ The catch in increasing death duties^ as hard up Bro. Lang proposes, is that you cannot collect until after tht funeral. Extraordinary tactics of a reinsuiaa at a southern trotting meeting, as rs« corded by the local journal. The Oaniaru gelding got away at the sound of the whistle and "Watts, diving with caution, kept his charge steadily in front of the field. Trying to keep clear of the "break* ers," wo suppose. -::- ■;:■ * For all our seemingly cynical note the other day, we really do sympathiso with, and arc out to help where we can, "Disturbed," "Plain Bill," and other, citizens harassed to the point of insomnia by the petrol racket-oers. Possibly they will find consolation (or an. idea) in the following paragraph which indicates how summarily and comprehensively Paris is dealing with iti plague of noises. No automobile horns are to be blown, between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. Also no bells are to be rung on. street ears, no whistles to be used on trains, on Seine tugboats, or in. railroad stations, during these eight hours reserved for human slumber. Motor-cycles must stay off the streets. An hour's leeway is allowed to mechanical pianos, radio loud, speakers, and phonographs, but after 11 p.m. they must be stilled. Milkmen must pad thoir cans to ' make the early morning restful. »' * * "Henri Pango" enters a nolle prosequi, or whatever it is— Dear Percy,—More in sorrow than in anger I demurely reprove our friend Per Severe for his unseemly levity regarding my patronymic. I thought that in these days of free, secular, and compulsory education with an agricultural bias, even a fourth standard schoolboy, would be aware that "Pango" is GumArabic for "John/* just as "Hemi" is Gum-Arabic for "Demi." I prefer to use my name in all its pristine beauty, untranslated, and anyhow H is a letter more easily carved on a tombstone. * * # OUR SEVEN. WONDEBS. Look these over, and if you are not satisfied, return them post paid to the conductor of this feature. The w.p.b. is not yet gorged to the rims. (1) Tho stonewall. (2) The sheer reckless courage of Mr. Sullivan, M.P., as indicated by his dramatic "I'm not afraid of you, Smith!" (3) The citizen cwho has no solution! for our economic problem. (4) The gentleman who won a fat consolation prize in the Irish sweep. (o) The graven image in Kent terrace of a little ladj' who had a mind of her own. \ (6) That there should be long queues of people waiting nightly to listen to the stonewall debate. (7) That the vigilant. Tax .Cornmis- ' sioner has not yet come down on the s-obstructionists in the House with" an. amusement tax. ■ ■ ~. ■ Madame M'Clancy takes her tea and the be-Labourites to task over their humourless stonewall. The perspicacious lady offers a suggestion for ending the expensive farce, which we duly pass on to our editor. Ain't this "stonewall" a scream. The way Those Labour jokers nag all day An' all tho night, while I'orbes and Co. Jest sits around and let's 'cm go. Kid-stakes, I calls it ... 'ogwasb, too, Which bluff is neither smart or new, An' if the workers fall for that | I'll hundertake to eat me 'at. >\ We've gotter face the facs, as Perce I 'As frequent told the universe, An' facs is facs, damned 'ard some* times, When up the cost of living climbs. Look at me, bow . . .me stockm's ' darnt, An' can I buy some more? I carn't. There's Bill's best pants to sole and 'eel, The twins don't go short of a, meal, > But for their frocks and undies . , % well— . | I 'opes we 'aye do real cold spell. ) 'Olland must think we're dinkum mutts, Eye-wash won't 'elp to 'eal the cuts. That's jest about as clever, dear, ! As adding water to your beer ' To make it longer. As I said, We're all parked in the same 'ard bed, With not too many blankets, or Eieh Persian carpets on the floor. It ain't jest grousing round that wins, Or kickin' other people's shins. 'Olland is all for sacrifice . . . The other feller's . . . ain't that nice? If I was Mr. Plage's boss I'd put a staggerer across These lads. I would declare, you bet, The "stonewall" "black," and let it sweat, An' if that wouldn't do the trick, Our black cat's name's not Ginger Mick. <{ * * Some time ago we ran a, story of the eccentricities of millionairess Hettyj Green. Princess Mary's husband owe* his.wealth to a distant relative, the! Earl of Clanricarde, who was just as "curious." Master of more than; £2,500j000, he ate his meals out of a paper bag in the distinguished club b£ which he was a member. Dining at the club meant to him. a sandwich and a bun. A diner once, described how ho saw'Clanricarde pick vp1 a cutlet from the table, wrap it in a serviette, and put it in his pocket. Then he. dipped a banana in coffee and ate it. Though reputedly a connoisseur of art he, had choice, pictures worth thousands nailed on his barn door in Ireland. Ho wore incredibly old clothes of the midVictorian era up to the time of his death. He lived in shabby chambers in the Albany, and it is told that once ho demanded a reduction of rent to "compensate him for a noxious smell that invaded his rooms." The earl's tramp-like clothes "and his hideous gamp of an umbrella led a porter to refuse him admittance to his own club. And the reason for these eccentricities? He was crossed in love, they say. Beneath his rags and tatters he wore & precious stone on a piece of tape. Al millionaire and a miser, Clanricarde was an unbelievably harsh landlord. Wisely, he never visited his Irish estates."' Ho had willed his millions elsewhero, when a chance meeting brought him in touch with Viscount Lascelles. They had a few minutes' conversation which pleased him. When he returned home he made a new will, of 200 words, bequeathing his" eacttiie{ |pj>. j iituaeto.Lj^oeUesj __^,;;.--u;|