POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CXI, Issue 40, 17 February 1931, Page 8

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

BY PERCY FLAGE

Seemingly, all that is necessary to crown tlio work of tlio Indian Bound Table Conference is to give that hardy, drysalter Gandhi his owd tow*. * « # "Post" headlines: ECONOMIC DYSPEPSIA. TRANCE'S SUBFEIT OF GOLD. That's tlio sort of ailment we've bee« looking for for years. » * * Theso i>itchod battles between th« Hindus and Moslems must be accepted as evidence that India is "fighting mad for self-government. * * .* That bon mot of Lady Astor, who referred to the House of Lords 'as being more "beerage" thaa "peerage." made a big hit when it was first invented by the Sydney "Bulletin." a * * These may be broadcast with duß acknowledgment to this column. Books we read in youth often shapo our political opinions. Thus, conservative children may get a liberal education. "The New Zcalander of to-day is very athletic"—Beneficial result of dodging the road-hog? At time of writing, this would appear to sum up the position in afflictcl (Castile: — While his good people squirm, Growing sore and pernicketty, Alfonso stands' firm— Though his throne's a bit ricketty. * » * To correspondents:-— H.W.S.—Have mislaid your address. Sorry. "Villain L."—That is a difficult verse form, cramping one's style. Relax, brother, and let your lines flow and your rhymes rhyme. "B.S.P." —A brazen and vexatious "gong"—as far as we were concerned. "Perci Val."—We shall have to surrender presently. You're the fourth ia recent date pleading for another limerick bout. * # <■ "B. Alderdash" is first in with. Mr swers to this questionnairesDoes a Civil servant ever lose his temper? When will an artist draw Percy Flage's attention? When a man saves a situation, what does he do with it? Is beauty's latest aid, the foam • bath, produced from the permanent wave f (1) No, for in that easo he woull be no longer a "civil" servant. (2) Never; but there are plenty who would willingly draw his salary. (3) Holds it down until he's fired— then tries to save it again. (4) No; from the permanent wage. * * * We didn't have to scream, after all. Our Mr. James Eoberts came to light yesterday with three reasons in chief why the Alliance of Labour condemn» and will oppose the 10 per cent. cut. Here they are: — (1) "His (Mr. Forbes 's) statement may be summed up as one in. the interests of tho moneylenders, bankers, and bondholders." (2) "The meeting is, therefore, of the opinion that the Prime Minister intends to lower the standard of living of the working people below the fodder basis in the interests of the bankers, moneylenders, and bondholders. . . ." (3) "Apparently the Prime Minister 's first consideration is for the bondholders, moneylenders, and bankers, for he has not suggested that there shall be any reduction in their large incomes." This looks like a three-pronged stiletto to us. * * * What do you know about that! . After discussing the relative merits of whisky and milk and the capacity of Sussenachs to drink whisky, the House rejected the Bill by 137 votes to 18. We had not met these Sussenaehs, Those bravos bibulous, until We came upon their Bacchic tracks In Mr. Scrymgeour's private Bill Such is their great capacity (Not stated; only hinted at) For mopping whisky full and free, It helped to knock the measure flat. The swillers of an earlier day, Two-bottle men, or three or four, Though noble drinkers, must give waj; And leave'the Sussenachs the floor. Nathless, we feel it must be said It would their seasoned tonnage tax To put decisively to bed The hard-boiled swizzling Swisseaaehs. But, asked the paladins to name, Whose shields most valiantly hay« borne To rasping amber-tinted fame The crest of old John Barleycorn— ■ The "No heel-tappers" who havt spread Uncounted foes upon their backs, We nominate, with splitting head, The syphon-snatching Sassenachs.

Julian Huxley has an idea that * century from now genius may be produced by gland manipulation. The general scheme seems to be that by grafting the right glands into the ordinary child the laboratories may produce a great poet, painter, scientist, statesman, or what not, just as an automobile factory may take a stock chassis and make it into a special car. —Whether Huxley is right or not, it is an engaging speculation. If roalised, it would mean, iv effect, assuming that human nature in 2031 will not havo greatly changed, that the half-wit would'then definitely come into his own. The Hollywood or Barnums of 100 years hence could pursue the moron with fabulous contracts. He might even become- a Grand Chain of Tiinbnctoo. A. world literally crawling with geniuses is a prospect which makes us rather resigned to the inevitableness of not being present when the auspicious occasion arrives. As things are to-day, tho majority of our abnormally brainy citizens arc hard to bear socially, and look anachronisms outside the laboratory. Picture the planet alive with such curiosities —an appalling vision—and then ask yourself who would be left to attend to such normal business as keeping the central heater going, peeling the potatoes, and giving you the wrong number when you ring up the best girl. Genius may be largely a matter of taking pains, but it is steadily becoming an agent for inducing pain in the place where the average fellow parks hi* sense of humour.