POSTSCRIPTS

Evening Post, Volume CX, Issue 68, 17 September 1930, Page 10

POSTSCRIPTS

Chronicle and Comment

Br PEBCY FLAQC

Though Adolf Hitler failed in his 1923 "drive," he "putsched" himself to the front with a vengeance on Sunday last.

Marshall Field, departmental store millionaire, has divorced his wife and settled (it is reported) £200,000 a year on tho lady as alimony.—lncomapatibility has a field day.

Startling headlines in this enlightened and enlightening journal: "Policy, Moulders." "Labour in Australia."—It seems to be mouldering everywhere else, too.

Justifying the granting of further art union permits for worthy objects, Mr. M. F. Luckie pointed out that the average purchaser of a ticket did not invest solely in the hope of getting a. prize, but rather with the object of assisting a good cause.—Anyhow, that's what we keep telling ourselves after every draw. jjj

A satirical "streamer" in our contemporary, the ineffable "Daily Mail," which docs not love the Soviet: "Dull round of scarce food, poverty, and fear, but glorious opera."—Probably Staliu and his colleagues beliovo the yarn that Ilium and the Arthurian capital were built to divine music.

"Harem Scarem."—No; wo think it would be scarcely fair to describe "The Terrible Turk" as a bashi-bazouk so long as he sticks to wrestling qua wrestling.

After what happened in tho Town Hall last evening, it looks very much as though wo shall have to resurrect our bowyaugs and start on that potential work about the place* which wa have been saving up for unemployed relief purposes for the last three years.

Mr. Erenuan has informed the Leaguo Assembly at Geneva that though Australia is not prepared for war she hai a policy of defence and a spirit of defence.—New Zealand, though it has torpedoed its Defence system, is still doing its bit. An all-round increase in. the ammunition allowance to rifle club* is announced.

We are not clairvoyant at this time of the year, nor are we merely trying to put one across the chief, but this is what happened.

Our Editor this Woden'a Day explained in quite a courteous way that he had wearied just a bit of what ha termed our "jingled skit." "Perhaps, '' he said, '' 'twill be as well to give our clientele a spell from what is sometimes lively verse, and sometimes something rather worse." Hurt in our pride we acquiesced, and left tlio Presence quite depressed. We had a yarn, (with many a rhyme) concerning Greenland's Polar clime. It came from Steffansson, this thing, and is most disillusioning. Set down in froien, formal prose, 'twill bo surprising if it "goes." The world, it seems, has been misled by what it~ha3 been told, and read, about the people of the snows: the stolid moonfaced Eskimos. They do not live in ice huts, or swill oil till they can swill no more. A few may live thus sordidly, but not the great majority. When Steffanssoa first Baw them in their native state he had to grin. Backed by a row of tall spruce trees, they stood there, busy as you please swishing bandanas red and hot, mosquitoes, and the flies to swat; and then,' in Hollywood's best stylo they faced the camera with a smile. Finally, clients, you must know in Greenland there is no more snow than may be seen on English ground when winter's blast comes barging round.

Heketa Grey, a rider contemporary with, we believe, Dick Mason, writes to us apropos of our note on "doping." He recalls that that amiable Romany; scallywag, Borrow, had his own exceedingly original way of "doping." Borrow oxplains it in the following words: "I can pass off the veriest screw a3 a flying drummedary by putting a live eel down his throat, and as long as the eel remained in his stomach the horse would appear fresh and lively in a surprising degree." If this should put ideas iuto the head of a friend of ours who has a filly by Gloaming entered for all classics but the Oaks, it is n» responsibility of outs.

"Zoo Pet."—Strongly advise against a baby sea elephant as a pet. When they grow up they are nearly three times as tall as your daddy, and must have goodness knows how many tons of whiting or herring every year. Have you thought of a nice little Portuguese man-of-war? They're a novelty .. . Don't worry about Alphonse, little one. He's probably only being modern, and trying to live life to the full.

Our news columns published the other day a story of a tourist who was swindled out of thousands by "con." practitioners at Home.—Human greed and credulity again. Thackeray admitted he had been "pigeoned" out of £1500 long after he had reached years of discretion, the Russian novelist Dostoievsky was an easy mark for the card sharpers, and we ourselves have been sold the Queen Victoria statue in Kent terrace twice without ever being able to obtain possession. '

One by one or two by two Britain's ancestral homes are going under the hammer to meet death duties and taxation. These include the Eood Ashton estate in Wiltshire, Birdsall estate ia Yorkshire, and Hornby Castle also ia Yorkshire. Another historically famous estate marketed recently is Kinfauns Castle in Perthshire, the property of the Earl of Moray. The first earl of the present line was a son of King James V. of Scotland. The most renowned of the old Celtic lineage -r-as Macbeth. Among other treasures, iha castle contains the double-handed sword of Sir Thomas de Longueville, the "red rover" of "The Fair Maid of Perth," and clocks formerly owned by Mario Antoinette and the Empress Josephine. Along with castles, silver heirlooms are going on the market. Ia the space of twelve months silver dinner services associated with the families of the Duke of Montrose, Brownlow, Eanfurly, Eavensworth, Balfour, and Wold of Lulworth Castle have been sold. Presently, the Poet Laureate or his understudy will be called on to rewrite that ballad extolling the "stately homes of England."

In reply to a correspondent who seeks an antidote for distressing uoiscs next door: Purchase the largest tin. kettle you can afford, and get your ironmonger to solder to the spout a penny whistle, or its post-war equivalent. Fill'and set the kettle to boil as adjacent as possible to your neighbour's "music"; preferably in a room with windows opening toward his torture chamber. That done, go out for the evening. Repeat doses as required. Ii this should prove ineffective, employ a "paying guest" with a passion for the cornet out of all proportion to his virtuosity on that oft-timo deplor* able instrument, "■