CREATING LAUGHTER

Evening Post, Volume CIX, Issue 73, 27 March 1930, Page 22

CREATING LAUGHTER

MACHINE-MADE JOKES

BIG BRITISH INDUSTRY

Oue of the most curious and least known industries in'the United Kingdom is entirely devoted to fooling Englishmen, says a writer in an English paper. You will search Board of Trade blue books and all the test books of our commerce in vain for any references to it. Yet it has its factories and thoy have had to increase.output because of the increasing popularity of the business. • We may have 'thought that the Bright Young Things formed just, a small exclusive cult in West End society circles. But Britain is full of bright young things, according to these manufacturers who produce quaint articles for fooling the grown-ups. If you happen to- be taking afternoon tea and notice a fly on the lump of sugar, don't judge by - appearances. Thousands of lumps oi sugar, with artificial flies are sold in the course of a year. They are purchased by persona who love a joke, and are left about in the sugar basin or on the table, and invariably cause a thaw in the most frigid tea party. FOOLING LANDLADIES. One of the leaders in this amusing allBritish industry o£ innocent practical jokes told mo that there was one which enjoyed a great sale among commercial j travellers and holiday makers who go to stay in boarding houses. We all know how landladies blaze up at the sight oi an ink stain on snow-white tablecloths, j Here is a very realistic large blot. When it has been surreptitiously laid on a cloth j witli an ink-stand .placed nearby, the deception is complete. The legend about squeaky boots is that they have not been paid for. No oue knows how it arose and, of course, it is nonsense. ' But for this, and better reasons, we do not much care to wear squeaky boots. Yet one of the popular products of these "fooling Englishmen. factories.is a little attachment which makes boots squeak. The pedestrian using it makes an un- j canny noise.' It is more.like the fadiug wail of Hamlet's ghostly father than a squeak. One's friends and neighbours are completely puzzled as to where the sound is coming from. It seems that this joke is highly popular with playful guests in our big hotels. BEWARE OF THAT MATCHBOX. Matches are like pencils. Thousands of quite honest people cannot keep their hands off them when they find them lying about. More than . ten thousand boxes of matches were sold in one week, but they did.not contain a single match between them. They.are a wonderful bit of British ingenuity from our fooling factories. ... A box of matches with the familiar yellow safety label appears to have been left lying about. But whoever picks it up drops it instantly. Like,the hot brick of immortal memory. Something like a clockwork bomb goes off inside and the holder gets a shock.. ■ . ■ . Having visited one of these factories, I will never, never again be hurriedly sympathetic to any person who shows a cut finger. For hundreds of fake bloodstained fingers,, with appropriate bloodstained,- bandages, are sold. INVENTIONS ;OF EX-SERVICEMEN. This industry thrives on the truth of the adage that men were deceivers ever. It is proved by the immense sales of a bit of foolery among married men. Wives may tolerate smoking, but we all know that careful wives have a worrying dread o£ singed tablecloths or a burnt hole in the carpet. ■ ; . . But the singe may be imaginary! The heartless husband may have deliberately laid down a little patch which gives the appearance of a hole having been burnt in the fabric, with damning little sprays of tobacco ash to give realistic clues. Most of these domestic practical jokes iire the invention and manufacture of exservice men, and their versatility is amazing. The articles are sold all over the world, and most of the buyers are grown-up.