A T-TIME TALE.

Evening Post, Volume CIV, Issue 26, 30 July 1927, Page 14

A T-TIME TALE.

The terrible twins thought the treacle tart tempting. Teddy took two tiny tastes; Tommy took three. Then those terrible twins turned to the table, to talk, terrified that their teacher thought they tasted the tart. The teacher tramped toward the tart. The twins trembled. The teacher turned towards them, then took them to the table. "Toll the truth!" the teacher told them. Then the. tencher tied three thick twigs together to thrash thofec terrible twins. 3SSME .TACOBSON. Tilahi Bay. (Aged 12.) ■■■^^^^ SMILE AWHILE. A son at college wrote to. his father, "No moil, no fun, your son." The father answered: "How sad, 100 bad, your dad." Teacher (who has given his class an hour in which to write v composition on any subject they chooso): "What have you written, Johnny I?'' Johnny (rending): "The football match last Saturday. On account of unfavourable weather the match was postponed." Jones: "I say, waiter, my bill comes to thirteen shillings, not fourteen." Waiter: "Sorry, sir—thought p'raps 3'ou was superstitions!" Teacher: "Who can name the four seasons?" Tommy: "Please, miss, salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar!" A traveller was taking a hasty meal in a railway restaurant. "What's this you'vo given me," he asked the waitress, "tea or coffee?" The waitiress w..s offended. Can't you toll by the taste?" she asked. "I certainly can't," he replied. "Then what does it matter which it is?" she answered sweetly. Oh, Doctor, the child has swallowed a bottlo of ink! And what hnvo you done? Wo made him oat a snoot of blotting paper. "Johnnie," said tho toaehor, "what kind of a noun is 'trousers'?" "An uncommon noun," replied Johnnie, "because it's singular at mo end and plural at the other." Doctor: "I hear you arc not very well, Mr. Elephant!" Eddy Elephant: "No; I can't think whatever can be the matter with mo. Do you know, I've only eaten two tons of food these last three days!" "After asking tho usual questions about the health of tho family, the visiting priest began to question one of the little girls about her work at school. Finally he got to geography. 'Now toll me, dear, whnt is a lake?' he asked. The child knitted her brows, then said, eagerly, 'Plane, yer rivciinee it's a. kettle wid a hole in it." niißiiiiuiiiiiiiiittfifflimiiKim THE OPTIMIST. Two men were walking from Leeds to Essingwold and came across a signpost announcing 111 Miles to Essingwold. Three miles .further on they found another signpost, still declaring 12 Miles to Essiugwold. "Thank goodness, we arc holding our I own," said the Optimist.