STARVING TO DEATH.

Evening Post, Volume CXIII, Issue 48, 26 February 1927, Page 21

STARVING TO DEATH.

Doctor: "Your husband's not so well today, Mrs. Maloney. Is he sticking to the simple diet I prescribed?"-

Mrs. M.: He is not, sorr. He says he'll not be after staryin' himself to death just for the snke of livin' a few-years longer."

"Well, little man," beamed the kindly old lady, patting the boy on the head, "what do you expect to be when you come of age?" "Twenty-one," replied the boy quickly. '

He: "Yes, I don't know how it is, but I feel thoroughly wound "up to-night." She (bored): "How very strange, and yet you don't seem to go."

He: "I read in the paper this morning that an American woman divorced her husband because he sat on her new hat." She (sweetly): "I couldn't possibly do a thing like that!" He: "Of course not dear." She: "No—l haven't.a new hat.''

Agent: Don't you want your office furnishings insured against theft? .•:'-,- ---■ Manager: Yes, air but the clock. Everybody watches that.

Dorothy: "Did Cecil kiss j'ou against your will last night, dear?" Maud: "He thinks he did!" ,

A/ifey (whose hubby has been told there are no more seats): "Oh, I wish, darling, you would do as I suggest and book seats in advance—(you idiot.)

A new Mark Twain story from the btates:—After Mark Twain had finished his speech at dinner, a lawyer arose, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, as was his habit, and inquired: "Doesn't it strike the company as a little unusual that a professional humorist should be so' funny.?" Twain came back with the drawling inquiry:—

"Doesn't it strike you as a little unusual that a lawyer should have his hands in his own pockets?"