Page 5 Advertisements Column 3

Evening Post, Volume 137, Issue CXI, 10 June 1926, Page 5

KNEES HARDWEAR ♦ ' EBENEZER ON JUVENILE DEPRAVITY FRANCIS ADOLPHUS CARRIES ON THE EES TRADITION "Youngsters,'' said Ebenezer gloomily, "are the very dickens. They ruin the knees of their nether garments from the age of two till twenty. First crawling on the floor; next playing marbles; lastly in sentimental genuflection to some shingled Venus who. possibly should be smacked and sent home to bed. I've no sooner ' got Peter off to work and paying for his pants than young Francis Adolphus creates a necessity for new knickerbockers." "Keep him in shorts," we advised tersely—"or get Madam to fit him with leather knee pads." Mr. Ees grunted. "He's got so-called leather boots, but they still wear out." "Why," we suggested, "don't you clear a corner of your workshop and encourage the youthful Frank to carry on the Ees tradition." "I wouldn't trust him with my tools," said Ebenezer without enthusiasm. "Buy him some of his own then." "Cost too much," replied Mr. Ees, still in morbid contemplation of the high cost of keeping alive. "What!" we queried in horror, "are you ill, or something.. Haven't you forgotten the establishment that made you famous? Buck up, old.horse,,Nees Hardware still marks the corner of Ghuznee and Marion Streets." "Yes, yes.V the man replied with a wan smile, "my mind was elsewhere." ' 'Certainly, certainly, "we -agreed, "but see that you don't go elsewhere." Ebenezer looked at us reproachfully. "Never," he said with conviction. "You could get him a Spear & Jackson handsaw to begin with," we suggested, "at twelve and three."' "And a German Jack Plane might be managed also," he agreed. "Absolutely, at three and nine, and you could get him a couple of chisels; a one-inch 'Firmer' at one and eight and a quarter-inch at one shilling." "A Stanley Marking Gauge at one and four," replied Ebenezer, warming up to the idea. "Here's a catalogue, you look up the prices. How about a Boxwood Rule?" "Three foot, two and five." ; "And an eight-inch Screwdriver?" "One and eight.'' "A two-inch Spokeshave?" "Two bob." "A set of Gimlets—Ward _ Paynes, say?" "Six and nine a dozen." "That ought to do the youngster?" Mr. Ees concluded; "for a start, at any rate. I'll take him down to Nees tomorrow night and introduce him to Bill." "Good oh,'' we replied, "bring him-up in the way he should go!"