THE DENTIST.

Evening Post, Volume CIX, Issue 131, 6 June 1925, Page 17

THE DENTIST.

How T should hate to be a. Dentist, The probing, scraping Insf.rumentisti Who drills and grinds with grisly Tools Dovised by Golliwogs and Ghouls! Ho g-loais on what appears to bo a Docided Case of Pyorrhea; And, oh, what Horrid Joy is his To fintl tlrree Brajid-now Cavities! Ho gaiiy grooves your Molar, taking But littSe Note of how you'ro quaking I<or Feaa- tho Whirring Burr should swervo And touch the Tense, Expectant Nerve. Hq never dreams, the Ruthless Duffer, Hotv .Finer Souls liko yours can suffer; Across your Mouth—poor, Patient Lamb !— The Ruffian rears a Rubber Dam. He gags you woll, then prates and patters And asks your Views on Weighty Matters And when you gargle, "Ow-wah-oo!" R-sphes, "That's risrhfc;-1 think so too!" ■ "-Why _in Myrtle:.weeping on John's shoulder ? Does she lovo him ?" "Xo. Probably he has bored her to "Hott do you find .marriage, Tony?" she asked. "Well," replied Tony, "during the honeymoon I talked 1 and she listened men for bis months sho talked and I listened. Now we both talk and the nei<rhboura listen." ■ . • . Men of Mark.—Convicts. j Tin Tack.—Canned foods. : A Serious Blow.—A cyolons. A Biojcle.—Pleasure's treadmill. . What_ creature is happiest when his life is hanging by a thread?—A ispider. When a man'is intoxicated with love it- is up to him to sign the' .matrimonial pledge. • The turtle was somewhat unsteady • As he found himself caught in an'eddy He mused, "Though I hurtle I can hardly turn turtle, Because I'm a. turtle already." Sam Higgins was puzzled. Ho had found a dead cat in his taxicab. Ho was about to fling it into the gutter, when he caught sight of a policeman. "I found this in my cab,"Jio said, when the guardian of the law came up to him 'What am I to do with it?" .■■■Well, you ought to know," answered the policeman. "Take it to tho nearest polico station, and if it is not claimed withm three months it becomes your property." : Rube Goldberg ia still tedkinr about his adventures in Havana. TJie other day ho was asked j£ he had seen everything o£ interest at Oriental Park, the race track at the Cuba, capital. ''Yes," replied Goldberg, "I sa-w everything- but the place where they pay o"ff tne- bets. Housewife: We're going to get ajieloctno washer, and so we won't nocd you' any raoro. Laundress: All right, lady, but an eleotno washer don't give out no gossip. "13 this pra-war stuff J" 1 "V?, 3- sir.- It's always followed by a fight," "i W,£ Bt'B the matter—can't'you get.cehtral ? . . "No—sho's in conference." Fellows: There wet© dozens o£ persona at the tram to see me off. Kemp: Did you pay any of them? "Is_thero a word in the English language that contains all the vowels?" "TTii touid !tio na"'r'" "Whafc fe £t?" ''rTO iu^ , '?"£> d<^-\ T WJ]y tl>es*' tears? "N-Nanny says I've a-skeleton inside me—an'l caii't soe it!" J^T 1 *Am d■are'y?'Jr PaOa and mamma going to take you with thorn to London?" F°"^Y.,: I 05"" Callor: "And aren't you nfra.d?" Tommy: "No. I ain't frightened o nothm', I've been vaccinated." . Tattered Timothy: "I've boon trampin' tour years,- ma'am, an' it's all 'cause T hoard ■ that tho doctors recommended «\v ii "m thC }> cst exercise." Mra. Prim • along." d°ctors are right. -Walk "Yea," said the teacher, "we" have seve c «jta ? nd nowers named with* the prefix 'dog' Of course the dog-rose and the dosr-vwlet are well known to you all Can any of you tell me of others™ A bright idea illuminated tho face of an owner and a friend. "Do you tWnl " asked the latter, "that Elank has improved "OiTlh? contrary ""^ y°Urssee?" would sayTe h^faUel^ffi^ite^fot."" 1 m^] oo'° th 7 «wP. be? ins a novel in middle "What's that for?" "Why rfUri lT tw °. Problems to be S howit^lll belin!" 6 St°r? WiU end ' and batr Tr* 7 W°man had iust lost her h«3StrX? thS ***** "^ "' Siad,to a o b.;d" affliciion 'indeed rris gb again." ° ParritCh Vm goin' bl Club Bore: "I say—an awfully funny Sy nwav a!lir° d R tO m-° jUSt as I -as on most -Sng."' 1"811 Can acCOml)!isH al' ou'3 X°ept k^ P'nS h' s hair from falliD S Many beginners in golf-and mnnv who fl^f»,l'° .J» 0»!» nors-«ro grievously afflicted with tho malady of topping the ™,V- f A.,H la.ver whoso eiTorts to cure himself of tl,, s .ndiction only resulted in the ovcrsc of the Couo formula, addressetl * profwaiotial Ny.lh gloom ;„ hi 6 ear, n-tit despair ,» 1, 18 eye. "I'm- hittititf tho ball every -.mo r, s h|. otl f . ne , op . t-, „ •s<-'",' J, I c" m* 3' Cllre for i*-" Uli. replied Iho professional "iuni turn the ball , Ips i do down." J A small boy entered a village tailor's simp and-said: ">lr. Snip, will ye, pl cas o lrro,y'clo.hr' C SOm° POtIMUS °f ood ' '.'Why certainly, my boy." said Mr. .hnip with a, beaming smile. '^Yliat docs tnHicr wnnt them for—suit, trousers ovoreoafc, or " . ' "I think." said tho boy, "he wants 'em to iiini up the creeper." An old negro win burning dead grass *"," st>-a,.jrer anpmached and S l,id : You re foolish to do that; it will make tuo meadow as Maok us you are '' "Don't .TOii'worrv.'zonfc that sail." ropliefl (lie negro, "dat grass will grow out an' be. •is green as you is." Cili.mii: "ir.-. F jour volunteer compaiiv boiiehl- a firr online* yft?"' Subbubs: "Ye?" but' ivo liavcnM had it clpiicc to tc?l it vet.'' (Jilimjn: "No lioujes fm lirr cli" SuWmV,,: -Oh y«, Ult, lliSV'lr, M|-...i,v : , Uufttssl dv«-» hcl'jn ire jvt tliere."