MEDICAL WONDER.

Evening Post, Volume CVII, Issue 104, 3 May 1924, Page 17

MEDICAL WONDER.

By means of " extractions" from the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland—a pea-sized gland at the base of the brain— a sandy-coloured frog has been made pitch black, says a cablegram from London. " It is thus within the range of possibility that blondes maybe changed into brunettes, and vice versa, if they wish. We may even see black men turned into white."

There's a bit of a gland at the base of the brain To meddle with which ne'er a quack will refrain, \fhen he iinds it empowers him, by waving his wand, To change ' a brunette to a beautiful blonde. Its posterior lobe yields a magical juice i'hat's bound to be brought into general use,

Whenever a blonde would fain be a brunette, Or Carrotty-top turn a luminous jot.

Full many -a black will turn into a white In very much less than a day and a night; And who will be -sure of his kith or his kin When every one changes the hue of his skin ? , So soon as you learn lo love Lulu again, And see who she is thro' her glandular strain, ,• She'll tiro of blue eyes and coiffure of red, And black she'll become from her heels . to her head. The chopping and change that is bound Will make all the wise folk feel awfully blue, Whatever their colour; and Nature at last May turn us to piebalds—and make the . die fast! —Adelaide " Observer." You should never interfere between husband and wife, for if you fail >as peace, maker the one thinks you are a^ traitor, and the other knows you are.

Dorothy—How long did it take you to learn the multiplication table? Mother—Oh, not very long, dear. "But it was much simpler is those days, wasn't it?"

Squire's Daughter (to gardener's wife, who suffers from chronic rheumatism) — Have you ever tried Swedish massage, Mrs. Brown?

Mis. Brown—l have heard say it. be very good for rheumatics, miss; but we don't grow if in these parts.

Tho young wife sat plying her needle. A coat of her husband was in her lap. As the husband appeared, she said, fretfully: " It-'ss too bad. tho careless way the l-oilor'sewed ibis button on. This is the fifth time I've had lo put it back for you."

' That's the best-natured fellow I ever knew. I'll bet five dollars you can't say anything that will make him mad?" "Done. "He's a Canadian, isn't he?" " Yes." " Then you can pay in advance. l_m going to tell him something about Canada being a cold, Arctic country."

" What is the secret of your success ?" asked the very young man. "In buying," said the old horse dealer, " I look sharp, and in selling I look just as ignorant as I can."

" What do you take as a remedy for your insomnia?" "A glass of cognac at regular intervals." " Does that make you sleep?" "No, but it makes me satisfied to stay awake."

She—" I wonder why they never invite me any more." He—"Probably because you accept their invitations."

" Oh, Dickie I" exclaimed his sister. " Who taught you to swear like that '!" "Taught me to swear? Why, it's me that leaches the others.".

Hubby—Of course, dear, it's only a rough idea of mine, but do you think it's possible that there's such a thing as a printer's error in that cookery manual of yours ?

Jack —Suppose I teach you to play cards now, and then you'll know all about it after we're married.

Marie—Won't that be lovely! .What game will you teach me? ? Jack —Solitaire.

' Stage Manager—Good God, man, you can't co on like this! Never in my life have I seen anyone as drunk as you are. Leading Man —Hav'n't y'—hie! Just wait'l y' she my understudy! .

"Which weeds are the easiest to kill?' asked young Thompkins of Farmer Jones, as he watched that good man at work. "Widow's ,weeds," replied the farmer. "You have only to say, 'Wilt tliou?' and they wilt."-

"Yus, mister, rum's a curse, all right. That's why I drink beer." "Goodness me, my man, beer is also a curse!" "That's right, 'mister. But beer is only a mild sort of curse—like 'Goodness me!' "

Judge: "You sa.y you were alone when you committed the robbery?" Nitro Bill: "Yes, yer honour. I allus does me little jobs alone. When ye've got a pal it's ten ter one he turns out dishonest."

Chief.: Do you mean to fay that you haven t been able to get a single clue as to the perpetrator of this crime?" Detective: "Naw. Them newspaper reporters is down on me and they won't tell me anything."

Dear father." wrote the'boy'from the art school "don't send dig any more money—l have saved half thafc which you sent me last month." "Come home" wired Hie old man, "you'll never make an

Youmr Lady (repeating conversation to deaf old gentleman) : "Miss Frills says it gave her such a fright." Deaf Old Gent: "Eh? I didn't quite

YouriK Lady: "Such a fright!" Deaf, Old Gent: "Ah, yes-I agree with you —so she is! '

that k? f d= r\ cry time l look at that hat of yours. I have to laugh." - Ihe Wife: "Really! Then I'Uleave it about when the bill arrives."'

\,^e:\'"° t l C°Urse- 6he' s Rightfully plain, one" °l faCB that e*°™ °" e ™hn'^' I- io"y alad it didn't

t»™ar ° 1. bßß^n his ™ie- in a furious tf-v mper',. mv. mind i"- made Ul p " thi| er0o» nen;"P tod ller husband; "is » I W d hoped thafc >our mind, at least, was your ownJ" ■

then depended on a decent sense of gratitutie in the beneficiaries."

Suzanne: ''Do you really .think that Mrs. JUippam is as pretty as k picture " Harold: 'Yes, but I was thinking of modern art.' - "

.mCi°i b? ck ? nd lick him, you coward!" -, he,f a'ready Riven mo two blackeyes. Well, .ho can't give you anymore, can he! '

CUra: <Ho „ so obstinate." Maude: Ir> what way? ' Clara: "It's the hardest UmiE ii; IV woHcl la uuuvtoee Uiw U>*t,