THE POLITICAL PEGASUS.

Evening Post, Volume CIV, Issue 133, 2 December 1922, Page 19

THE POLITICAL PEGASUS.

"Friends, I point with swelling pride—" "Theea. are moments fraught with fear—" "Heroes who have fought and died—" "Give the working-man his beer—" "Labour undermined by stealth—" "Justice for the poor aa well—" "Arrogant displays of wealth—" "What the farmer has to sell—" "Hum and all »ts evil ways—" , "s?ar3 and Stripes, above the- waves—" Ultimate consumer pays—" (( "What the budget system saves " 'Help our industries to grow—" "Great Republic's shielding arm—" "SunkiEsed shores to vales of snow—" Can't help viewing with. alarm—" Life- , -J.K.M.

Teddy: I wish. I hadn't lic£ed Jimmy Brown this morning. Mamma: You oee how wrong it was don't you, dear? ' Teddy: Yes; 'oause I didn't know till this afternoon that he wa» going to give o party.

Johnny: Look at the ateamer! How nigh she is out of the"- water! Tommy: Silly kid! It's not that the steamer s high; it's the tide that's low.

First Guest: This is a pretty cheap family. Just look at the napkins, all patched and darned. •

Second Guest: Yes, and, beeido that they borrowed them from me.

Mrs. Winks: What kind of a. girl have you now?

Mrs. Minks: A very nice one—ever so muoh nicer fchaa the others. She doesn't Beam to object to having us in the house with her at all.

"Is Mr. Parkins at home?" inquired the caller.

"Which oite, sir?'" asked the parlourmaid. "There are. two brothers livinsr here."

For a moment the caller looked puzited; then he had an idea.

"The one that has a sister at Binning, ham, he replied.

- Young Doctor (introducing his only patient to a friend): Mr. Brandel—my practice.

Proud Winner of Last Two Holes How do we stand now?

Loser of Ditto

You're two flukes up.

'A good many _of the most successful businesses believe in promotion," said the old qitizen of Little tot. "When a highsalaried man gets through, the only thing necessary is to hire a new office boy."

Mother (reprovingly)—" When I was young, girls never thought of doing the tilings they do to-day." Daughter—"Well, that's why they didn't do them."

Patient (gushingly)—" They tell me, dootor you are a perfect lady-killer." Door tor (modestly)—"l assure you, my dear madam, I make no distinction between the eexes."

A desperate lover, walking in the woods with a. girl, said in a tender voice, "What is your favourite flower, Mary f "Selfraising for bread, and plain for pastry," she replied.

Wife (at breakfast)—"l want to do Borne shopping to-day, de»r,> if the weather is favourable. What is the forecast?" Husband (consulting his paper)—" Rain, hail, thunder, and lightning. 1

Hearing a faint rustle in the dark hallway below, the elder sister, supposing the young man had gone, leaned over the the balustrade, and called out —"Well, Bessie, have you landed him?" There was a deep sepulchral silence for some moments. It was broken by the hesitating, constrained voice of the young man—"She haa."

The following conversation was he»rd in a lawyer's office: Mrs. Sharp—"Haveyou filed those divorce papers for me? If so, I want you to stop them at once." Lawyer —"Have you > made it up with your husband?" Mrs. Sharp—"Good gracious, no! But he's just beon run over and killed by a motor-car, and I want to sue the owner for damages!"

London magistrate, sternly, to a boy obarged with stealing; but given a good character: "Where is you good character now, my ]&d?" Boy: "In my drawer at" home, sir."