A CHRISTMAS SONNET.

Evening Post, Volume CII, Issue 151, 23 December 1921, Page 18

A CHRISTMAS SONNET.

Oh Christmas ' Pudding—brown, seductive —round— .

With' sprays- of scarlet holly for thy ' crest, ■ Tho longings thou dost raise within my breast Leap—as the brandiod flames, which .thee svrround Assail my nostrils and my thoughts confound. '. : . I would I were a Christian Scientist, That I might tuck thee well beneath my vest And then deny thee; that is, if I found That thou, and I were like to disagree, But howthou'lt act I nevor can foretell— Sometimes thou art so very real to me, Thou mak'st me feel in full the pangs of; hell! I dare not face thy tempting—l must flee. So, Christmas Pudding—Greetings and farewell.- ' '

Mrs. B.: Charles, Willie must have a little slate for his work in school. Mr. B.: Tell Willie to go to the coal bin and help himself.

"You musn't touoh any of the things on the Christmas tree, darling." "Why, mamma, are they all good to eat?".

If you wish to become known as » dovil-of-a-good-fellow lend your ears to bores and your money to incompetents.

Shopkeeper:— "Goodness, boy, ar© you going to give this air giin to your aunty for Christmas?"

"Yes, hang 'er! I heard hor say she wuz go>n' to give me a Bible."

The Host: I'm afraid we haven't much of a dinner.

Tho Obsequious Guest: No apologies, old man. You forget that I have dined here before.

Diplomaoy—Making , the way ' seem smooth and desirable to the other fellow while you get there first.

It's the children that keep Christmas from dying, and there are a lot of children that might bo kept from dying if Christmas lasted tho year round.

"Moy I have the next dance?" "If you can find a partner."

Tommy: Dad, what's a Scotch mist? Father: When a - man asks you to have a drink and you don't baar him.

Henry: "I can't make up my mind whether to buy my vfife a milkin' stool or a ,fryin' pan fer Chric'mus." Storekeeper: "Why don't you git her a nice new washtub. Hen?"

If we had our lives to l'v9 over again, tho probabilities are we Would make our mistakes much more easily.

This it the time of the yew _ when a woman doesn't object if hor- husband becomes penurious. He may' be saving up to buy her a Christinas present.

Christmas, of course, has its drawbacks; but, at that, tne chronio kicker deserves to find nothing but a oorn in his Christmas stocking.