"SPOTTING" THE DEVIL.

Evening Post, Volume CI, Issue 102, 30 April 1921, Page 14

"SPOTTING" THE DEVIL.

A machine for recording emotions enables one to sit quietly and enjoy a sight of ono'c own' temper. When passions seu« Me unaware, I drop at ease In cosy chair; With spirit oalm, 'Mid wrath Satanic, I lay my palmOn box"galvanic. y A opot of light Records eaoh feeling, My temper's height And fores revealing; Touching a wire, And spared all trouble, I watch my ire Beolzobubblo. Chronicle. ■ —A.W.

"How extravagant ol you to pay so much for a diamond ring for mo !" "Not at all—l shall save on your (dove bills."

Manager—"Does your union authorise you to eing to-night?" _ Operatic Star —"Woll, yes, but oaly to sing off key."

' Awkward Friend (who has been permitted to hold the baby, with disastrous results): Terrible, terrible! I cin't imagine how it happened. Really, I assure you, I—l hardly ever drop a baby.

Teacher: Johnny, what is velocity? Johnny: Velocity's what a fellow let* go of a boo with.

There had been a quarrel. "You're no lidy," remarked the party of the first part. "Ah!" replied the other. ."If it wasn't that I was a lidy,- p'raps I'd bo able to'tell you wot kind of a lidy you ain't."

Irate Mistress: "What! Do you call jourself a lady's maid ?" Maid: "Not at present, madam!"

Mr. Beaks:"l have nothing but praise for the new minister." Deacon: "So I noticed when the plat© went round."

■ Miss Younger: What, in your opinion, is the best time for a girl to marry?" Miss Elder: "Whsn the man b willing!"

"Did your watoh N stop when it dropped on the floor ?" aakea a man of his friend. "Of course, it did," was the reply. "Did you think it would go through it?"

said his mean uncle, "how would you feel if I gave you sixpence?" "I think," replied Johnny, "that I should feel a, trifle faint at first, but I'd try to get over it."

Marriage is a state that lovers look forward to, widowors look back to, bachelors look out for, and no one but the mother of twelvo sturdy children understands.

Journalist: "I have an idea for a newspaper article that will strike a new note." Editor: "Good. Most newspaper articles merely note a new'strike.

Bright Youth:_ "You have a vacancy for a boy, I believo, sir?" Employer: '"Yes; but I tell you at once he must be a boy who nevor tslis a lie and never gives a discourteous answer." Youth: "I'll send my cousin, sir; he's deaf and dumb."

Mistress—Ravo you swept und«r the carpet ? Maid: Yes, mum! I sweep everything under the carpet.

Small Boy: What's the u«3 of washing my hands before I go,to school, mother? I m not one of those who are always raising thorn!

Ho (after tlio quarrel): Come on, kiss me and let's forgot all about it. She: All right; but be careful not 'to disturb my rouge, and you'll have to bUy mo a new hat.

"Be careful of that woman, Jim—fsho'e dangerous."

"What dp you mean? Has sho got a husband she doesn't want or,hasn't she got one she does want?"

Professor: Felicia; I have just discovered a now star!

Hiß Spouse: An if you couldn't spend your time better trying to discover m& a cook 1

"Lord," prayed the old. ooloured brother, /'don't eend me more blessings than I can take care of, but when they git a good start, an' act like they want to' keop ooming, don't -etop Jeml"

"Do you remember when you wore first struck bj my beauty?" "Yes, dearest. It was at the masked ball."