GOOD NATURE.

Evening Post, Volume XCV, Issue 23, 26 January 1918, Page 16

GOOD NATURE.

I used to think good nature paid, But now I have somo doubt, When I perceive the progress mads By kickers all about. The folks who say, "Oh, let it .go! It isn't worth a fight," Are, as a, rule, statistics show,. Not treated wholly right. All men detest the kicker's ways And blame him for his moocTs. Oh, yes, good nature gets the praise, But kicking gets the goods. -W. G. Doty. N.Y. Times.

"Our birthstqnjs are supposed to control our destinies. What is your birthstone?" "Judging from my experiences, I should say it was a, brickbat."

' New Office Assistant—"Five shillings' worth of ha'penny stamps, please, and I hopo they'll tasto nicer than that last lot I bought here. Ttey were a funny flavour."- .

"Is your husbmd economising?" "Yes. Ho threatens to smoke such inexpensive cigars that we are willing to cut - down every othe- household expense rather than suffer."

"A fool and his money are soon parted." "That may be, but tho difficulty of getting hold of money makes me believe thero are fewer fools in .the world than is popularly supposed.'"

American Father —"Where is Bessie?" American Mother —"She'll be back in a few moments. Sha stepped out to get married." ■

The Caller—"Smith and Banks have employed mi to collect tno bill you owe them." Tho Impeciniqus One —"You are to bo congratulated, sir, in obtaining a permanent position."

"A wounded German prisoner in. England Tefused to go to a hospital." "He knew that would .be one of the first placos bombed by the- German raiders."

"Whom can. -we send to the zoo to write up that bear story ?" "Why not send one of the cub reporters?"

"Is Mabel still devoted to that young man who owns the twelve-cylinder car?" "No. She passed him up for an army aviator."

Naval Officer- —I say, doesn't poor old Smith look sick! Awfully nice of you and all that, but why did you.chuck him for me? Flapper—Change of colour. I'm &ick of khaki.

"And why do you wa-nt to sell your nightshirt, Pat?" "Well, what good is it to me now, when I've got me new job of night-watchman an' sleep in the daytime?" . ■

"Don't you find geography difficult?" "Wo don't study geography now," _ replied the boy. "Teacher says we might as well hold off for a while and wait for the map to settle." '

Jane Willis —Kit is hard up for suitors this year, isn't she? Marie Gillis—Yes, indeed. She has lowered her standard of eligible incomes, advanced her age limit, and let down the bars to foreigners.

"Any complaints, corporal?" asked the colonel, making one morning a personal inspection. "Yes, sir. Tasto that,, sir," eaid tho corporal. "Why," tho colonel paid, "that's the best soup I ever tasted." "Yes, sir," said tho corporal, "and the cook wants to call it coffee."

"That man," said Sherlock Holmes, Jr., "has no daughters, and his wife doesn't dance." "How do you know all that?" asked Dr.. Whatson'. "Have you over seen him before?" "Never. I ]ust overhead him say that he could see no harm in the Tango or the Turkey Trot.

"Aren't you ashamed of scowling so, Willie ? Just see what a sweet expression Tommy Jones is wearing." "Well, he has to wear it. He has just thrown a rock through tho preacher's window, and he's waiting now to .make tho preacher believe it was done by a little boy in a blue suit who ran down tho street."

The Borrower (at the 'phone)—ls this you. Miller? Yes, pretty well. Say, Miller, I've got a half-dozen books of yours that you let me take last spring. I wish you'd stop for them, as you go by. And, Miller,' I want you to bring " over your set of Plutarch and that early edition of Pepys and your French dictionary. If I'm not at homo you can leave them with the maid. Yes, that's all. Goodbye.