UNRECOGNISED MARSHALS

Evening Post, Volume LXXXVIII, Issue 106, 31 October 1914, Page 11

UNRECOGNISED MARSHALS

DIRECTING THE WAR. j PROM TRAMCARS, BARS, ETC. One of the afflictions of the war ie the I enormous amount of unhelpful comment to which an averago citizen has to listen in the course of a day, because escape is nofc alvvoys practicable. On© compensation fe ths J . he can join the- host of uh-, recognised marshale^-he usually does — and await his opportunity in a tramcar, rcs> taurant, or other plaoe where tho unwilling nudiehce .is more of Jess fixed. The same ■flung is happening everywhere. Henco New York Lifo has given a "Handy Guide to War Conversation," thus: — "If Europe insists on fighting there won't bo enough left of the old country for spuvtnire. (This Can be said with an air of regret, to denote that in the past you went to Europe for souvenirs.) "I'll wager one thing, there won't be a monarchy Uft in Europe when, it's all over."_ "This Wifr will make another Napoleon, I suppose." (This ititimaWs a knowledge of history, and perhaps ia safer to Ufco than the preceding one, which hae a taint of Socialism.) "The worst, of war is that it takes tho best blood of tho country." "Weli, I understand Europe is over* crowded, and a war will clean the place up." (The two foregoing arc not incotnimlibk 1 if fchoy are used i i litft© apart. They both am fo profound it 'is a- shame <o escrifjco either, and it may be necesrary to connect the statements with/ "but on, the other hand ") "Havo you read 11. G. Wolfe's 'The World Set Free?' It's teally prophetic." ('Jso this to cteatd a literary atmos< pherc.) "It docs 6eem all our vaunted civiliea* I .tion counts for naught." "Have you stopped to think that if Japun -helps England, she will be an ally of Russia?" • "Mark my worde, these airships are going to do something." "I don't rely much, on newspaper dee> patches. I've a friend on one of them, and ho writes rive-thousand-word descrip^ j tions of battles from five-word cables, j I (The friend can be assumed.) j "Right now is America's chance to mi* I prove her merchant marine," j "I know a man who id a professor who told me that the real oause of the war was the inherent hatred of Teuton for Slav." "Are you going back to fight for your country?" (This is indescribably humorous when addreesed to anyone you know to be American-born. If your acquaintances are all New Yorkers the sarcasm is even a shade keener.) "Do foreign soldiers really wear those lavender and baby-blue unifprnis you 6ee in musical comedies?" (This is good in feminine circles.)