Page 11 Advertisements Column 2

Evening Post, Volume LXXXVII, Issue 103, 2 May 1914, Page 11

ALLEGED HUMOUR THE GEOLOGIST'S LAMENT. I met my love by an ancient lake, Where the glacial till woe deep— * Where days of old saw lizards bold, And dinosauri leap ! ( Her hair was touched with the pyrites gleam ; Like crystal quartz her eyes: — Tho ruby's tint on her rounded lipj f Like purling springs her sighs ! "Ah, Sweet!" I breathed, "as the eons flew And fossils formed in clay, And bits of filt'ring limonito Entombed them where they lay. "Through allth© years of the shifting meres, While soft the ox-bows wound, Did Potash cleave to Silicon, In the molten magma's bound I "A« Potash cleaves to Silicon, So cleaves my 6oul to thee ! May mortal never break our bond, Nor part our love the sea.!" She pensive moved o'er Triassio stone Whore three*toed beasts once tracked : "It's not your fault," she harshly Baicl, "But surely you are cracked I" —Prentice Abbot, N.Y. Life. IN CHECK. "There are no bad boys. They > are merely, suffering from misdirected energies, like most Members of Parliament." —Mr. Will Crooks in tho House of Commons. Dear cherub, how I love to 6ee Your pretty antic 9, and to smile At tricks and artifices free From guile ! They made me angry once, but' taught By newer Science, I confeßs Tboy never could have sprung from naughtiness. And I.can pardon what seemed then Original iniquities, And were but mis-directed enErgies. But when you smash my pipe "for fun," 1 And trip me up "by accident," I'll try some good old-fashioned punishment. Yet, let it, pray, be understood, Such chastisement I only give, Lest you should grow at last too good To live. w m *, ■■ — A.W.B. Daily Chronicle. SCENTING A- CRIME- , An American gentleman 1 visiting a gaol noticed a coloured man of his acquaintance whom he had never known to be guilty of wrongdoing. ' "Why, Jim, what are you in here for?" he, asked. ' !!L d ?, n> H now »' BU «,". replied the' negro. Well, vrh&t have, you been doing V' "Nothin' (t( t all, suh— notHin' 't all." "What • made 'em put you in here, then' 7 ■ , . ■ 1 "Well, dey sez I wu2 sont up fur fragranoy. < PERILS OF WOMAN SUFFRAGE. ■ In one of the Western Stales of America a spirited, campaign- for Woman suffrage was being carried on. The' suffragettes employed a Mrac Nickell, who was a strikingly handsome woman, to call upon the Voters to loam their party affiliations. At one place Mrs. Nickell was met at the door by the lady of the house. "Is Mr. Chester in?" enquired tho visitor sweetly. ' "He is not," was the emphatic answer, the while Mrs. Chester regarded the questioner with frank suspicion. • "We are very anxious to know what . party he belongs to," continued Mrs. Nickell ingratiatingly. • Mrs. Chester drew herself up to her full height, eyed her visitor haughtily, and answered with asperity:/ "I am the party." THE TWIN CITIES. Champ Clark, the American politician, tells a story of tho extraordinary feeling between the cities of St. Paul and Minneapolis. Once, when speaking at St. Paul, life called attention to v the reckless driving of motor-cars in the rival city. "Why," he declared, "I have even heard that .ten inhabitants are killed in Minneapolis on .th* streets every twenty-four hours." . . . "Waal," came the loud voice of an interrupter, "it ain't enough !" ■ THEY SUFFERED ALL RIGHT. Lady: "I am collecting* for the suffering poor. Mans "But ara»jtou sure they really suffer?" , ' Lady: "Oh, yes, ftideod. 1 go to their houses and talk, to them for hours at a time." "TRUST THE PEOPLE/ "I am willing," said ths candidate, after he_ had hit the table a terrible blow with his fist, "to trust the people." "Great Scot !" yelled a. little man in the audience. "I wish, you'd open a grocer's shop." HE DID. Tommy came out of a room where his father was tacking down a carpet. He was crying lustily. < "Why, T.omrny, %vhat'g tho matter?" asked his mother, "P-p-p-papa. hit his finger with the hammer," sobbed Tommy. ''Well, you needn't cry about a thing like that," comforted his mother, "Why didn't you laugh?" ' "I did," sobbed .Tommy.. PRAYER. Younj? Raymond had, been busy all of tho afternoon with , his little pail and shovel down on the beach. Bed-time Came, and wearily he stood while his mother undressed him. Then prayers wero next in order, and by that nme ho was almost in the land of nod. "Now, be a good boy, dear, and say your prayer*. Thank > God for all His goodness to you." His head had fallen on her shoulder, "Raymond," she said sternly, as she shook him, ,"you cannot go to bed until you have thanked God For Hiß. bleßflings; for giving you a nice, comfortable home, and a lovely beach to play on, and a mother to love you. Think o! tho number of little boys to-night who are hungry, and without a. home, and no nice clothes to wear, and— ' , Here Raymond's intetest became roused sufficiently to protest sleepily : "Mother, I think them's th' fellers that orfc to do th' prayin.' " ' Cj2| PATON'S HELPS jjßj TO KNITTERS \ JtoS^Csll knif this stylish *Kx^s±wA am and comfortable "■ ;< v ' j§|||f|iil many beautiful use PATONiT'" Super- Fingering Paton's Wools are obtainable at all Dealers. Samples of nil Paton's Alloa Knitting Wools ate sent free on request. John Paton, Son & Co. (a/sw Ltd. 230 FLINDE.RS LANE, MELBOURNE 193 CLARENCE. STREET, SYDNEY For information respecting Good Knitting Machines -write us. J*'s. • ■ . . A