Page 11 Advertisements Column 3

Evening Post, Volume LXXXVI, Issue 107, 1 November 1913, Page 11

ALLEGED HUMOUR. "Ho jufit borrowed a dollar from mo, mid I fcol like Dinging 'Kathleen Mavournoea.' " • "Why?" • " 'Tt may be for years, and it may be forever.' " Johnson— Look here, you've been in there half an hour and never said a word,The Ma<n in the Telephone Booth— l am speaking with my wife, sir. Fay— The Widow Dashaway's hueband didn t leave her muoh when he died, did hei ' Ray— No; but he left her pretty often when ho was alive. Miss Gush— And were you ever out after big game, colonel? Colonel Highflier—Yea, indeed. I have been "out" after every, big game I wae ever in. "Rastue, what'e an alibi?" "Dats provin' dat yoh was at a prayermeetin' whar yoh wasn't, in order to show dat yoh wasn't at do crap game vrhar yoh was." "Officer," said the householder, "thero'i a burglar in my home." "I ain't got nothing to do with burglars," responded the New York policeman. "I'm on the traffio squad." Penley— "I've written a new novel. Come up to my apartment *nd I'll show you the proofs. Friend— Proofs ! Why, old chap, I don't doubt your word in the least. First Cat— "These magazines are co holp- ! ful." . Second oat— "What's the latest " F^rst oat— "Here in the home hints they tell you how to make a lovely enffragette I bomb out of an old tomato can." "What is tho charge?" asked the eergeantess. "Carrying conoealed weapons," replied Offiooress Maymo Eogan. "We found this cage of mice hidden under his coat." Coloured Person (in department etore)— Ah want to look at a poihr ob'eilk etookings fo' a lady. Saleswoman (nonchalantly)— What size and (colour?( colour? Coloured Person— Lordy, gall Is you blind? "That's our general superintendent— eon of the president— ho began at the bottom and worked up— started in as an oiler, right after he left college!" "When was that?" "Oh, he graduated lost June!" Soper (eadly)— Something I said ,o my wife some days ago so offended hor eho h*sn t spoken to me einco. Henpcck (with painful eagerness)— Old oha-p, would you mind tolling me what it waa you eaid? . "Tlie time has past," eaid the orator haughtily, "when any man can bide himself behind a woman's petticoats." "You bet," commented tho cynic in the baok eeat. "Those X-ray skirta have stopped that." Beauty Collection. CUTTINGS FROM BEAUTY ARTICLES. THE CREAM OF MODERN BEAUTY ADVICE. How to have Thick and Pretty Hair. "Home Talents." Soaps and artificial shampoos ruin many beautiful heads of hair. Few people' know that a teaspoonful of good stallax dissolved in. a. cup of hot water has a natural affinity for tho hair and ntakes the most delightful shampoo imaginable. It leaves the hair brilliant, soft, and wavy, cleanses the scalp completely and greatly stimulates the hair I growth. -The only drawback is that stallax seems rather expensive. It comes to the chemist only in sealed packages, which retail at haff-a-crown. However, as this is sufficient for twenty-five or thirty shampoos, it really works out very cheaply in the end. . . . For an actual hair grower nothing equals pure boranium. It is quite harmless, and sete the hair Toots tingling with new life. . . . The use of rouge is almost always obvious, but powdered colliandum gives a perfectly natural colour and defies detection. Emergency Complexions. "Novel Recipes." Even a complexion which is hopelessly dull or greasy can be made beautiful in a moment by a perfectly harmless home recipe. If you have no cleminite in the house, get about an ounce from your< chemist, and add only enough water to dissolve it. Apply a little to the face with the finger tips. The process defies detection, and the result is an immediate appearance of velvety, youthful "bloom" which every woman desires. The effect will la6t all day under the most trying conditions, indoors or out, and renders powdering quite unnecessary. This simple substance is also very good for the skin, and no possible harm can come from its regular use. ... To make the eyelashes grow long, dark, and. curling, apply a little mennaline with tho finger tips occasionally. It is absolutely harmless and beautifies the eyebrows us well. . . . Pilonta soap is the most satisfactory for all complexions. It even works well in cold or hard water. Using Oxygen for The Complexion. "Chemistry at Home." The well-known characteristics of oxygen may be effectively applied to the renovation of the complexion. Mercalized wax, such as may be found at any chemist's, contains oxygen which i» released directly the wax comes in contact with the skin. Oxygen consumes waste matter in the body, but does not affect healthy tissues at 'all. Therefore, it attacks and removes the deadened waste accumulations on the skin which show in the disfiguring form of sallowness, moth patches, anefa general appearance )of lifelessness. The fresh young skin which has been obscured by this disfiguring veil of waste matter is thus allowed to show forth in all its healthy beauty. The mercolized wax ie ' absolutely harmless and indeed very beneficial to. the skin. ... To bring a natural red colour to the lips, rub them with a soft stick of prolactum. . . , For tired, hot, or perspiring feet use a teaspoonful of powdered onalite in a foot bath. Effectually Killing Superfluous Hair. "Health and Beauty." . Many women know how to remove ugly growths of superfluous hair temporarily, but few know how to remove it permanently.. For this purpose pure .powdered pheminol may bo used. Get about an ounce from your chemist and apply a directly to tho objectionable haif. The purpose of the recommended treatment 16 not merely to remove the superfluous hair instantly, but also to kill the hair roots completely in a comparatively short time. . .' . Women who are annoyed by body or perspiration odours win appreciate the hint that a light dusting with powdered (white) pergol occasionally is an instantaneous corrective. . . . For oily complexions smart women are now using the natural allaoto of orange blossoms as a greaseless cream. It holds powder perfectly, gives the face a cool, fresh appearance which lasts, and it docs, not oacaurage growth of hair on tho face.—