CAR ODDITIES

Evening Post, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 151, 26 June 1912, Page 3

CAR ODDITIES

SACKS-ON-THE-MILL PUZZLES OF THE ROUTES. (By Memor.) A man, one hand gripping a bag and the other clutching a songful baby, hurries out of Kelburne-a venue. At the kerb, in his flurry, he half-dropß the baby in mistake for the luggage. The mother and two toddlers complete the group, and all eyes look towards the Bank of New Zealand corner. "We'll just about catch it," says the worried father, between gasps. Ho means the 7.45 a.m. train for New Plymouth, and his watch, frequently scanned, shows a hard galloping from 7.30 to 7.35. Anguish twiste the man's face into ugliness. His ear is strained for a rumble and his eye for a sign. Other fretful people make a querulous assembly, and the cars and the City Council are reviled. The hot breath of their wrath condenses into little clouds in the chilly air -while little children, with no cares for clocks, play hide-and-seek among the accumulating bags and dress-baskets. At last a car does come, and its brow bears the gladdening legend : "Thorndon Station." People and luggage, weirdly mixed, whirl across the wood-blocks, and an overloaded chariot goes groaning northward while babies and timepieces are watched fearfully. Of course, two or three haltempty cars form a sort of guard of honour just behind. "Constant Traveller" is sure that this is a strict rule of the service, but no doubt bitter memories of two or three sad adventures make him overstate his grievance. The official explanation usually is that an ''unavoidable hitch" — a broken head of a trolleypole or something else — has happened to cause the cars to be stuck up somewhere. "Why cannot the poles have more Bob«r, less giddy heads? asks "Constant Travellei,* 1 "and if they want to go. off their- heads why do they pick the most absurdly awkward times? ' ] SIDE-TRACKED. It is any time of the day, morning or afternoon. A man has run up to Stewart Dawßon's corner, and impatiently awaits a car. He sees a "palace" headed "Government Station,' iiiid jumps in. Just when the vehicle is getting up speed he is in a frenzy to slep out, beoaufie hft is being taken along Cuatoui-house-quay instead of Lainbton-quay, as he had hoped. It is a very angry person who flies out at the Post Office and charge* up Grey-street to the other route. Officials' may say that people should look well before they Isap into carts— and people are compelled to learn in time, though the learning may cause much irritation. Sometimes no amount of looking will avail to stop annoyance to either a motorman or the person who summons the car to halt. For example, regard the Constable-street car -in the daytime. At the front there is nothing to show the man who waits at any point between Newtown and Winder's Coriiei whether the car is to go via Lambtonquay or Jervois-quay. When the car is broadside on the route is plain, but an intending passenger cannot get £uch_ a vie-w till the car stops. He has to give a checking signal, read the sign at the side, and wish the motorman a happy journey if the letters ejjell a route not desired. At night the lights clearly reveal the route to those who take the trouble to learn the meaning of the simple signals. Thus Wellington has the curious anomaly that it is easier to make a mistake in broad daylight £nan at night when trying to detect the routes. Christchurch ha 6 adopted a very simple sy6tem of route numbers to help_ the travelling public. A huge number is conspicuously displayed by day and night at the front of each car, and this enables anybody of average intelligence to easily distinguish the cars. Wellington, with far move route traps for the unwary than Christchurch, does less to keep the public on the right track. The annoyance given by the lack of proper guiding signs at the front of all cars in the daytime has been stressed for several years in the press, but the authorities do not seem to think that it k worth while to have any appreciable change for the bettei. Cynics say that the puzzling order may be retained to sharpen the wits of the inhabitants, and promote alertness, second sight, mental telepathy, prescience, and general omniscience. CROWDED OUT. , Short-distance passengers give much distress, at rush hours, to people whose homes are in Island Bay, Seatoun, Brooklyn heights, and so on._ This i» one . of the troubles mentioned by "A.H.H." in The Post recently. The remedy is not easy, but there are ways of comforting the folk who are sorely worried by the penny-sectionists. A "Brooklymte" suggests one simple method of giving relief on that line. "It is a common thing," he says, "to have a Brooklyn car running just ahead of an Aro-stieet double-decker. Result : At the Albert Cornet the Brooklyn car is raided by many penny riders, and some twopenny people, crowded out, have the spectacle of the Aro-street car, with ample room for all penny persons, acting as a half-empty escort of the Brooklyn car. The disappointed Brooklyn residents use the Aro-street vehicle in the hope of catching a eeat on the car that is running ahead, but it is probable that they will have the joy of just missing it, after a tprint that destroys" the appetite for the next two or three meals. Why is it not possible to have the Aro-street ahead, to clean up the penny riders? Why, also, is it deemed necessary to have the cars of these two routes hunting in couples along the penny portion? Are the cars sensitive, timid things, that must have the company of each olher?" It ie a constant grievance among men that ladies who go shopping in the afternoons manage to time their return for the rush period, when the shops, factories, and offices are turning out their hundreds of suburbanites. Allowance is mado for those who have to meet husbands to grapple with an assortment of parcels and children, but it is complained that many of the shoppers needlessly delay their homegoing. Of course, the ladies may resent this allegation as a piece of impudence, impertinence, or ignorance, but the men mean well. SMOKING ON THE STRAP. Some men cease smoking when ladies enter a compartment alleged to be reserved for smokers, and some others may not. These others are calm, judicial persons, who take stock of, the car. If they observe plenty of room in the non-smoking parts they continue to puff. In this they feel that they are sternly just, but it is poH»ible that they misjudge the lady. She may be shortsighted, or she may not be able to read, or in a moment of flurry she may believe it best to step through the first door that offers. Now and then one may observe a man who is a gross offender both to smokers and to a lady, whom he accompanies. Deliberately, he takes her into a smoking compartment, and there lights his pipe ! Other smokers glare at him, and try to offend him by a much-emphasised stoppage of emoking, but the ungallant one is unabashed. His punishment should be a reasonable term of imprisonment, in a little shed where the barracouta and the blue cod are done brown. Small- boys also give serious Q&ejue to

adulfc sinokeis by crowding the sacred compartments, and compelling the pipers to curl their blu© wreaths around the rickety strap. Some conductors, sensible men, make the small boys move oa if there is room in other parts of the car.