AMERICAN FUN.

Evening Post, Volume LXXVII, Issue 28, 3 February 1909, Page 10

AMERICAN FUN.

■> JOKING WITH THE PRESIDENT. "DARKEST AFRICA." With great men of the world as targets for jests, and many of the foremost men in official and business circles of America as guests, the Gridiron Club (writes the Washington correspondent of the San Francisco Chronicle) hold its annual feast of hilarity, its fall dinner, at the New Willard. Rollicking rongs and good-natured jokes were the rule, and the fact that an outgoing President and an incoming one v.ei'c present furnished unusual material for the tunmakers. Only four survivors of the grcp.t political buttle of ISOB were found to respond to the roll call, the sad fates of the others being announced as their names were read. President Roosevelt, enjoying his hunting trip rmd grinding out sensational accounts of his piowess, was ! depicted, and the way he piled up v ords while tho auditors kept the score of dollars they meant was enjoyed by the Executive himself. The Ananias Club, the big stick, walking tests, tennis court, golf courses, " frazzle," and other timely topics wore brought in where needed most. -^ * Early in the dinner a quartet sang its " Taft Song." Here arc the fust ■verse and the chorus, to the tune ol " Yip, My Caddy, I Say " :—: — One night last November, as we well remember, Rcxniblicans sat up and laughed. Their campaign perfected, they all had elected A b.g brainy fellow named Taft : And now we are busy all a°kmg who is he Selecting for his Cabinet. We h^.ta to confebss it, wo really can't guc&s it. So what is tho answer wo get. There was a stunt by members of the music committee, who, attired in caps and sweaters and carrying baseballs, bats, footballs, golf clubs, etc., represented themselves to be members of the Electoral College. When asked who was their patron saint, they replied in unison: "John D. Rockefeller." " What was the amount of his endowment iund ?" was asked. "Twenty-nine million dollars." " ITa-. c we got it?" " Not yet." After having called attention to tho fact that members ol the Electoral College weru compelled to pay their railroad fares to travel to Washing^*!, this cheerful verse mentioning an Interstate Commerce Commissioner seemed appropriate :—: — There i« a man in our town, His name is franklin Lane ; And oyery order thai ho signs, It gives railroads pain. One tskit was devoted to President Roosevelt's African trip. The President arrived at the dinner at 10.30 o'clock. Shortly ailerwiud tho lights were switched off, and the room left in complete daikness. Then the president of the Gridiron Club announced . "•We are now in darkest Africa," and the room rebounded with roars and growls of wild animals. Presently the light came up, with a lively announcement fvom the dark : '■ Sudden sunrise in South Senegambia," and the guests at dinner found a tent, on which was the sign, "The Lookout." The tent stood in the midst of a tropical jungle. In front there were an orderly in khaki and with a helmet, a Zulu chief, who stood guard with die President and a mysterious person who wore the label "Auditor" and carried a bell punch. The rattle of a typewriter was heard within the tent, and then a voice saying : "Here, secretary, take this." Then followed: "Scribblers' Magazine, New York. Victoria Nyanza, April lt,l. The lion is a wild and ferocious animal.'" At that moment it was discovered why the auditor was in the party. He registered each word with a boll punch and totalled the amount at a dollar a word after each sentence. Thus, the dictation which was going on furiously in the tern, sounded about' like this : " The lion is a wild and ferocious animal." * "Eight dollars," shouted the auditor. "It has a soft body and a hard face." "Seventeen dollars."' "It is the king of beasts, and its daughter is a princess." "Twenty-nine dollars." "The lion roars like distant thunder." "Thirty-five dollars." " But it's nobody's business what its religion is." "Forty-four dollars." This dictation by the man in the tent of a story for a magazine, and the thrifty spirit which prompted the placing of <\n auditor to keep track of all the words used at a dollar v word, caused a tremendous laughter. Piesidsnt Roosevelt took the .joke with great delight. He laughed all through the skit. One of the most delightful skits oi the evening was furnished by the 1 rollcall after the recent political fight. The mournful tap of a dium was "heard in the ante-room, and there came marching in a battered troop. The banquet hall at the New Willard was gorgeously decorated. President Roosevelt, Piesident-elect William 11. Tait, Vice-President-elect Sherman ; E. H. Harriman, the distinguished financier ; Champ Clark, the new minority leader of the House ; Vice-Piesident Fairbanks, and Governor John Johnson, oi Minnesota, were among the distinguished speakers ; but a rule of the club prevents any report of their remarks..