Absence of Mind.

Evening Post, Volume LXXIV, Issue 108, 2 November 1907, Page 10

Absence of Mind.

You all know the old joke of the professor who, pondering over the saying that in a railway accident absence of body \ras a good deal better than absence of mind, went to the nearest railway station and tried to take a ticket "for the nearest railway accident," so as to have the matter proved to his own satisfaction. You doubtless know the story, too, of the professor of mathematics whose new parlourmaid told him when he rang at his own door that Professor Jones was out. "I'll call again, I'll call again," he said, and wont away. But these are stories merely. Here in Paris we have had the case of a monumental absence of mind, the hero of which very nearly died because of it. Professor Muchot'is known for his exhaustive studies upon the caloric powers of the rays of the suti ; and old Parisians remember the excitement and amusement caused by his invention winch was exhibited in 1889, and by menns of which the professor actually cooked beefsteaks and cutlets without any fire excepting the sun's rays. But Professor Muchot" whs absent-minded. For many years his wife looked after him. Three years ago she fell ill, and became unable to do so. The Professor's principal iucome was a pension from tho French Academy. During his wife's illness he forgot to draw it, and he would have died of hunger had he not also forgotten to pay his rates and taxes. The poor old man, who is over eighty-three, lived on from hand to i mouth on the charily of his neighbours, ' until an nngrj' tax-colleotor applied for his eviction for unpaid taxes and turned him out into the. street. Then his story got into the paper?, and just as a public subscription was being raised to keep him from actual starvation the fact camo out that a pension of £120 a year was clue to him, and had nut been paid for three' years. Professor Muchofc lives in comfort now. and by this time, no doubt, lie has forgotten his misfortunes. A greater Parisian than Huchot, Ampere, was more absent-minded still. Hundreds of stories of his pbsent-uiincledness tire told, but quite the lunniest is that of his dinner at. the house of M. Fontaues, the Orand Master of tho University of Paris. For a joke, .somebody had told Ampere that he must go to the dinner in his academician's uniform of green and gold, and girt with his sword. When ho got to .the house he was very much annoyed to find everybody else in ordinary evening dress. "1 will get rid of the swortl at nil events. " he said to himself, and slipped it behind the cushions of a s-ofa. After dinner Ampere forgot him. £<>lf as usual, and became lost in abstruse calculation. Tie took a little piece of chalk out of his pocket, and began wnrehii» out problems on the black satin covnr of the mantelpiece. He became so absorbed in what he was doing that all' the guests left without noticing them, and when he. wrote down Q.E.D. no one was left in the room except Mme. Fontnnes, and she unfortunately sal fast asleep on the soft where Ampere's sword lay hidden. Ampere went down upon 'his knees and pulled gently at the sword, so as to get it away without waking the lady. He pulled and pulled, and presently the sword came out — without the scabbard. At this moment Mme. Fontanes awoke, aud alarmed the houso -with her screams of tenor at' seeing a. man on his knees before her with a drawn swovd in his hand. But mathematical profp<.sois have pot the monopoly of absent-mindedness. La Fontaine, whoso fable'; are th» % delight of adult Frenchmen, and their children's earliest task, went lo the Court of l.ouis XI V. to present a copy of his. fables to tae Kini^. Ami he forgot the book. Fortunately the King knew La Fontaine, his fabled, and his foibles, and gave him n thousand pi.-Uolos — about £50. Unfor'unielv though. La Fontaine left the money in his hiivd cariiage on his way back lo l'ai i--. But the prettiest piece of ahspnt-minrt-<'<hic-s of which T have Over heard was ' that of Professor Pozzi. who asked a laily who was bewailing tho fart that she had no children whether the thought the failing was liPK'ditarv. This* is even moie fimiiMiig than the delightful answer ina'le by the engineer of the Seine tunnel, M. Berlier. to a servant who tohl him when ho went to call upon his lawyer, thai that genllcniiin had died that morning. "Oh," said M. Boilicr. "dear. deal. I'm so sorry. P»ut tell him I won't keep him a luimitf." — John >". Hapluiol in St. •Luncs's Budget.

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