A DOUBLE SURPRISE.

Evening Post, Volume LXXII, Issue 66, 15 September 1906, Page 10

A DOUBLE SURPRISE.

i » Young Mr. Smithers, having eaten an excellent dinner, sat down to smoke a good cigar, while his wife ran upstairs to give herself a few 'finishing touches before starting for the theatre. So - peaceful was his state of mind that he did not even look accusingly at his watch when, after the promised "minute" had developed into sixty, she entered tho room. "Seems to me that yon are looking very nice to-night, my dear," he remarked. "I am so glad you think so, darling. Of course, I care more for your admiration that that ot any one else. Besides, tho Skinners sit right behind us this' ovening, and this dress will make Mrs." Skinner quite envious before tho first act is over." Mr. Smithers looked anxious. "So this is new, ia it? Wasn't the old ono good enough?" "N — not quite, dear. Besides, I earned the money tor this one myself." "But how did you earn — " "Oh, after you left, I fell to thinking what a lot of money £10 was to spend on a wodding present for Mary Robinson, when I really needed so many things. Then an idea struck me. I romembered all those pretty things I tound m your big portmanteau after we were married— the ones that horrid girl, whoever she was, sent back when the engagement was broken. I wouldn't have one of them mysolf ; but it seemed a pity for them to lie thore, so I wont upstairs and looked them all over. I solected that. lovely silver-backed mil£rfri cleaned ifc U P ™til it looked J ?,« , lJ J c new ! anc > then I—" «?t ?, - lfc to bu y the dr( *s? I see." dress w,tK the money you gave me. The mirror I sent to Mary, with our S W1 h sheß i, Won't she bo surprised and— why, Freddie, are you ill?'" *■ vu t Oi ™ n "' m tf dear - You n »e Quito right; Mary will, no doubt, bo much surprised ; for, you sco, sho is the girl who returned those presents-that i"

AN EAR FOR MELODY. A new Irish porter wou put. to work on the North-Eostern Railway , The head porter directed the new man to imitate him closely and thereby learn his duties. When tho first train came into the station tho head porter shouted — "Ferryhill ; change for Hartlepool, Stockton, and Midcllesborough • change for Spennymoor, Coxhoe, and Trindon ; keep your seats goin 1 north." Barney strode after him and shouted in a louder voice — "Ferryhill ; change for Dnhore, Umphumb, Tooialooral, Diderham ; change for Coxcomb, Moorham, Findham, Coldlmm ; kapo your seats whore you aro." The stationmnstor culled him asido und showed him the right names on the tunc-tiiblo. Tlarney removed his cap, and eaid, politely — "Thank you, nor. I got hould of tho inwnc, .but I couldn't catch tho words I"-