LITERARY COLUMN.

Evening Post, Volume LXXI, Issue 47, 24 February 1906, Page 11

LITERARY COLUMN.

an australian abroad. ' imjpressi(}n«~and observa* • --; tions. " 1 . /■■ ' The, editor' oHhe Red Page of tho'Bulletin, in notioirig a just-published book by -a' Viotorian schoolmaster ("A Gumsuoker on the Tramp," by N. tf, Spielvogel), says tho author's littlo book records his ini< presttioos of travel. ' He has seen a great deal, nnd tells brightly what he has seen. ' Here are some of his gay little sidelights on things and people i— What o, crowd of 80,000 Londoners to hear John Burns,! Cull, stolid, hungry" looking individuals." Hardly aisheer.Withbut fervour of Ufd. : Llk« a, horde of lost souls looking for the road to Heaven. The Loudenfei' doesn't talk Ati»t«illnn English 1 , , He,talks of "flflhnatlons," "voe. lets," "Broighteh*," and the la,ds and work-, men all address me as ''Guv'ner." I don't ,knqw whether! 'they aro prophesying or what. I think it must be what. As I went olong the early, London , streets, I saw .numbers of woiflsh-looking men seeking in th» gutters for a, orust. '.Australia, is a grand land. It knows not poverty in the same seaao that London I knows, "it. . ' , 1 have had, to defend Australia from 'most abominable calumnies. • Such questions as "Why do you not allow the Six Hatters to land in Australia.?" "Why did you put the Six Hatters In prison? 1 ' "Why (did yotf refuse to allow Indians to sSave-'tliemsrives from drowning?" i "What' itbout the Potrlana?" 'My denials were met with copies of Australian papers, confirming my oppou«nWi! argument. And 1 thought of the fishmonger; travelling l with his rival's barrow, orying "Stinkin 5 fish." -• ' r > ' ! Our Cockney provoked a general laugh by remarking wissly— "These i blessed German stations are all th« same name. All tolled Attsgang," >■ ' In a bevy of German girls 6se> was put, forward «8 A abl6 to ' Milt English to the stranger. And the pretty little maiden said to me uiblushingly all the English she knew. (I'm wondering if she tinderstood It).— "OI you leedle darling I I lofe, you I' OhJ you leedle. daisy I Doll me driw."- , > . London is great, Berlin Is grand. London Is impressive, /but Berlin is majes*, tic. Unter den Linden, reminded ma of Sturt-street, B^llarnt. „ , I wouldn't live In Berlin. ' No I not at any price. Berlin has, a God, we know not in Australia or' England—Militarism I The soldier is everywhere 1 ' . The officers, dressed in their, dainty lavender top coats and little un. dress caps, 'stalk along . the street, turning 1 an eye of contempt on any one, not in uniform. < 1 stepped into a oat tho other ,day. Four civilians were sitting on O&6 side, an* officer alone' on the other. The car started with &> jerk. I dropped down rather suddenly, almost on top of. the officer. He jumped np v ns though something or other (I don't kt\pw what) had happened. I apologised in English, He looked too .fierce, for, me t6' remember any German. Then, giving me a ldok of intense Contempt, he said' several things at me in German. (1 wish I'd learnt more German,) ' I don't think thej* were respectable. ' < ■' . The Spree's not much to' look at. I hove often seen — ■-^■■■-■- on a bigger spree thttH. Berlin 1«. I've see^'nd tWw ftl to compare for beauty With the Milta Mltta as it runs through Esk&de^Vio.). riJTha' Germans jlo. not; hide their feck I bought, articled of clothing for 6s 6d, that I regularly nay 17s fid fo? In Mel- , bourne 1 Pictorial postcards, 10 a penny, j I'd like to earn m$ salary; in Dimbolia and buy my things in; Berlin. Though tectotalism is' (as fares' I, can judge) almost, unknown In Berlin, no is drunkenness. > I ascribe this to the more rational method 'of drinking. ,

•Tin- Australian ,girl is easily flr«f(fls far as* Ihave «ee ß yi n beauty nnd oharm, but particularly that she always seems to be well dressed, no matter how cheap the materials mny be of which 'hor dress is composed. ' I «tt not supposed to understand 'any German,' and they oriticiso me openly. l Bay« -one. "1 ■ suppose all Australians smoke' -pipes und have funny noses?" And another, "They don't grow much hair in Australia. I suppose It's too hot." '•Yes I and they all write without ink' (I had a fountain pen), and what bad writ' fog I" , Y'Ent«ehuldlgenY 'Ent«ehuldlgen it» rttlch" (o^uie mo) CAinie * voice from the corner. 1 looked round and saw 20 stone of humanity. He found out I was an Australian, nnd he be. gan'to curse Australia. Ho had been there '?ot2o Win. and had left a{ last in disititt. 'Why? Because of the drought? Because' of, Socialistic legislation? c Because, of the Six Hatters incident? Nol But because Australian beor was no good. •'It wns made from glucose, arsenic? nnd tobacco. I trlnk two glasses Gomsuoker beer I get head top. I t^tok twenty, glass Dout»cher beer not so bad.", The, Swjss,are great people. I am in love with them. Everybody i s genial and And that just reminds me that th«'Australian"6peaks more in one tone than any folk 1 have heard. An Australian makes no difference in intonation, , whether he. si<ys such, an Important thing n» Pig's fleet won tho Oup, or sudh a small matter than his neck is broken, All the same, one' of the sweeten things I have heard is the charming way in which the German- girls' trill such words as "AdieU," "Bltte," etb. • I'm in love^rwlth Lucerne. It's the •dearest," quaintest place 1 have ever seen. .It's a mittatura 'heaved, and there ato nny number 1 of arigehu there. ; ' < The Yankee is everywhere. The women can ft* picked out by their beauty and :the men by ) their ttgllness. ' ' "But' ypu'bught ,to see the falls of Niagara! ■; It's a hundred times more beautiful," etc., etc I had to keep Australia's end np. "Niagara I" 1 sdid ,with ,flll , the cohttimpfc , I could muster' up.' "Have yoii *"«« the Wimmertv at Dim* bolla?"* These' Yankees must be kept in their 'places.'' \ • t . Said the, (guide-book. ! "The Cathedral -Is the flnewst In, the worle." "Vlnoi painted tli.is before h« died in hit spare • ( tfme." . . '. '. ■ ' My guide-book, in describing, a picture, "Heaven, arid> Hell," says '.very naively, /'The artist, has taken for his models, for tthe Angels* in Heaven the features of hit .friends, and for tho«e suffering' the toN ments of the 'other place the faces of his , enemies. 'Many well-known men aro in both places'! f ' x > * ' • i ' Cairo Is by far the most interesting city. I (lave \yeb' visited. London, Berlin, , ROme-, are ' < variants • of ' Melbourne, but ,'here everything is strange; it ie like a new world/ " ' ' '', > „Th« dng'aless, traders' were still on deck, suave,' smiling, and servile. A white planter came on board, «nd his servants knelt at his] feet' and kissed his' boots in farewell. Beautiful is Colombo, but 1, • hate it; beautiful as a dream of pe^edtion without f putrid with vice, filth, and shivery within. A hundred time* better .stern, austere Australia, free and pure.' Will any tikn of Australia kisi my boots for slxpenrie l " „ Tho' first thing I heard on landing, was "Blime; blokes, whero did you get thnt hat?" referring to my German headgear. 'This !»■ Australian. The Australian is a different type to the Englishman. These wen'nt Fretnantld pier were not the same as those' ac' Southampton. Tho Auc(ra« linn' is longer; and thinner. His pockets }^jemade,,<MA the, game time as his hands, 'knt ho has a slouching walk. Hore Is the inHepeh'dincsthat Is the delightful trait In ,the' Australian. The obsequloueness of tho iCohtirietttnl and English workman is missing. .This, man doesn't touch' his .hat 'and "Sir" on«i ev«y three Words. Likewise his 'hand isn't constantly itch' Ing for/the, tip. ' Ho gets a decent wage r from'.liis embUyer.and that satjlsnes'hlm; One of our first-class English passengers

said, "Take: thlji parcel, my man!" "Exouse^me, I am not your man," was' the reply. I have come back to Australia feeling proud that I have como back to a country where freedom Is more than a nume. Buy the book. , •