ABOUT "THE HOUSE." A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

Evening Post, Volume LXVIII, Issue 98, 22 October 1904, Page 9

ABOUT "THE HOUSE." A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

[Bi a Casual Chbohiclbb/] Parliament is nearly into "the atraight" by now, but the whips are not • yet oat on the field, and the rate of progress has been quite slow. But that they will reach the end of the journey up to time is the opinion of all the knowing ones. Full of good mfceations the House met on Monday, and drowsily worked through a swarm of little Bills. In the evening the sins of tho Legislative Council were under discussion, resultant upon the proposed third reading of Sir Wm. Jukes Steward's Reform. Bill. This measure had weathered the storms of previous stages, bat this time ifc met the opposition of the Government, and was eventually killed. At latest, Sir William was bearing up bravely. ' The official ex- ' plana-tion was that ' the author of the BHI was so highly respected fchat the final knock-out blow was delayed as long as possible. Another' explanation was tbat the Bill was a pretty fair sort of axe of reform, and would kill the Council abuses with great deadness, but the Government wanted a, different sort of axe fchat would produce a different kind of end. Nothing else of importance was done. A majestic calm still brooded over the House on Tuesday. The dullness of the" proceedings oan be gauged by the fact that all the afternoon and' evening there were several members of the House in ' tie galleries of the Council. During the j evening,! Native Lands Rating Bill came , .on, and Mr. Kaihau, with 'characteristic vehemence and v energy, hurled wild at the Government.' He hinted at war and bloodshed, and conjured up • visions of boiled Premier and fried Cabinet, due to the triumphant insurrection of our brown brother. Maori is a most effective "stoush' language, and Mr. Kaihau used it with the skill of a pastmaster. He just stopped short of a haka. Otherwise everything was placid fenough. During the day the Premier was understood to say that he would very likely have something to say on fche Wednesday ' in the way of fulfilment* of his promise to throw something hard at the magnates of the Rand and the British Government in connection with the introduction of Chinese slaves. With a bland smile, Mr. Taylor handed in ,an enquiry as to whether the Premier's shyness in the matter had any connection with the High Commissioner sche.ne. Next day, to the amazement of every one, the 'Premier, instead of discharging large quantities of parts of speech, replied with a solemn " No !" This is a startling fact. There is reason to believe that the Premier was heard singing sadly to himself as he composed that beautiful reply; and his song was the song of one that is CORNERED. If a member asks a question re a rail- • way or a road, And desires me to acquaint him with my views; Do I answer him succinctly? No. It's "Brevity be blowed!" And a cloud of polysyllables ensues. !A. cloud of rumbling sentences composes my reply, And the noise of its delivery disturbs .The calmness of the Chamber. For I always answer " Why " With a mass of muddled adjectives and verbs. • , % I can fill a thousand columns with a. nebulous remark; I can" talk with great verboseness for a year 'And leave the wondering member quite completely in the dark. I love to keep the point from growing clew. ' But I own that now I'm beaten with this question re the Rand. (Oh, the ghost of ancient ardour it evokes !) It's stopped my flood of misty words; it's brought me to a stand Like a motor when a crowbar jams the spokes. 1 know they won't believe me, and I'm longing, full of woe, • For the"*parts of speech that served me in the past. 1 can only give a Negative, a mournful lonely " No." I am cornered by the enemy at hab.

The spectators got their moneys worth in the Council, however. The Licensing Bill was at last fairly in the cockpit, and the Hon. R. J. H. Reeves took the chair to steer it through Committee. His performance was a masterpiece, and he shoved and hauled and dragooned the Bill through thirty clauses during the day, chiefly by doing a Juggernaut act. Whenever a member rose to move an amendment he was told to "Sit down! Til put the question again!" And he would put the question like a flash of oiled lightning. The member, alert to get his amendment in, would merely hear a whizzing sound, and make a frantic dash at it like a man trying to board a train running 1000 miles an hour. By the time he opend his mouth the question had disappeared over the horizon. This did not happen every time, but he was a smart man who Bianaged to move an amendment. Now and then the Hon. J. M. Twomey tried to more an ' amendment, but he was usually too alow. One© he considered that he" had beea "bluffed." He understood that the clause would stop in order to let him place 'an amendment on board, and he stood ready with the amendment in his hand. The clause did not stop, and when he tried to move his amendment he was ordered to "Sit down."' He whirled his Bill round his head and brought it down with a snort of agony. Ho wag for *H the \forid like the man who got left on a flag-station platform that fche train dM nofc e*wp at. ' Except for the Juggernaut afctitade of the Chairman, whose despotism made Mr. Sed- . don look like a lamb by comparison, tnere was not much humour in the proceedings. The wonder was that the Council did not get out of hand, said somebody. But it is as hard to imagine the Council getting out of hand and rebelling as it is to conceive a mummy committing assault and battery. A sensation came after supper, when the Hon. Mahuta, arriving just before a division, refused to give his vote, but poured forth a stream of Maori. Everybody tried to persuade him to vote, but he gazed with majestic scorn on his interrupters and talked more Maori Entreaties, commands, requests were in Yam ; he was not going to be rushed, and talked on and on, till the situation grew desperate. Members frowned or grinned, and the galleries 'openly sniggered, while the Chairman grew hat and unconii'ortable. At last the Premier's colleague roared out. "Aye," smiled blandly at the proceedings, emitted furthr Maori, and rolled forth. After doing thirty laps the Council went home.

Mo«t of the fire had gone out of cue debate on vie Licensing Bill in the Lords on Wednesday. It soon became apparent that the Attorney-General was not going to submit to anything in the shape of an amendment to the measure, and co determined was he that he refused even to accept an amendment to alter "none are" to "none is." Various contentious clauses ' were got through gradually, and the people in the galTery, which was full and so W that an aged messenger looked at the

thermometer every now and again, were not given much in tho tv»y of atmraement. During the debate the Hon. T. K. Macdonald spoke in denunciatory terms of tho female vote. A storm of protest arose. The Hon. G. Jones hazarded the opinion that it was chiefly owing to the women's Vote that the Houtso of Representatives was civilised and did not wear akin garments and enforco their arguments with knotty clubs and paint themselves -with M-oad. They proceeded with the clause prohibiting tie sale of liquor to persons under 18 years of age. Mr. Macdonald grew wrath at the suggestion thai? married men under 18 should not be able to get a drink. "Men," said Mr. Jones. "Men? Did you say Men?" Mr. Camcross sadly suggested that a youth who was foolish enough to wed in hie infancy was in need of special protection. "Sorr, I mvy — I do— air-r-r-r-h — I invy these young married men of eighteen," said a. member witn a heavy sigh Kke a piece of lead, and spent the rest of the evening 'pondering over his .vanished youth. The galleries— unusually full and hot and weary, began to drowse and "Smoke-ho" came at .half-past eleven. Before tho dullness of Wednesday's doings in the House is chronicled, let us adjourn with the Premier to the female political meeting, at which he essayed to refute the charge that he hatea this unhappy city. His speech at that function gets its point from the fact that he was fresh from blocking a Wellington Bill. He explained that he is responsible for everything in Wellington except the land it stands on. While everybody has been reviling him, he has been improving our climate, buildings, population, etc. He said he had made Wellington a fairyland. "In those days when I first took office there were bleak, cold, tussock-clad terraces, now there are mercantile palaces. . . . I see buildings. . . chimney stacks. . . I note the population, and I say . . ." He said a lot of things. The average citizen might coy : — I often have thought of the way that The city has thriven apace' Since its primitive state on the day that A white man first came to the place ; I've guessed at the reason and blundered — To all sorts of trouble I've gone : Who — who — (it was thus that I wondered) Is shoving us on? I said that the source of our climate Arose from the physical laws ; And the birth-rate — I thought at the time it Was due to a natural cause. When our industries grew from a few to The crowds that are visible now, I thought they were totally due to The sweat of our brow. In the House when you got in a lather To thwart our most cherished desire — . When you said that the city was rather ,A mixture of slum, smoke, and mire, I utterly failed to discover 'Twas only a trick to conceal Your love— -just a mantle to cover Your fatherly zeal. When the click of the carpenter's hammer, The ring of the trowel and spade, Evolved this superb panorama And made us a centre of trade, We thought that our city so spacious To vs — and us only — was due. But to think it was youl Goodness gracious 1 To think it was you ! -. Oh! How we have misunderstood you! The thought of it drives us to tears. Oh, modest King Richard! How could you Conceal it for twenty-five years? It's a load off your mind now- you've told us That 'twas you caused our progress and rush. But we blush as we think how you've sold us. (Do YOU ever bluah?)

1 The Premier did not introduce his motion regarding Chinese labour on Wednesday, and the proceedings in the House were very placid, the only liveliness exhibited taking place over the Referendum Bill, and the Premier encountered some strenuous opposition, niamly on the ground that it gave the Legislative Council an undue amount of power. There were only 57 members present out of 80, and the Premier, after being trampled on two or three times with great "derision, suddenly discovered that the Bill was too important to be dealt with in the absence of the 23 other members. After badgering him for awhile the House let him drop the Bill for fche day. Several minor measures were put through.

Thursday was again full of gloom in the House. The Shops and Offices Bill, of which members had grown heartily eick, was finally disposed, of and sent to the Lords. A Loans Bill occupied most of the evening, and the same old dispute about the colony's finances — their muddled and precarious state or their lusty buoyancy, according to the point of view — took place. The Premier was outraged ob the thought of Mr. James Allen's criticisms, and delivered his old gag regarding the dastardly treason of plain comment, and spoke With great violence of the necessity of going about in our stockinged feet lest the noise of our boots should create alarm in British financial circles. Work went on till after 2 a.m. A Bill about our black and insufficiently dad brother in the Cook Islands and a couple of other measures paved the way in the Council for some more Licensing BiiL One clause was disposed of in workmanlike fashion, and then a difficulty occurred regarding gambling. Members asked the difference between "gambling" and "gaming" and "unlawful games," and discussed poker and fantan with the ease of experts. The "clubbists" opposed -the repression of "gambling," which appeared to be considered quite moral when compared with "gaming," but in vain. The star act of the evening was the consideration of the club clauses, and the "clubbists" poured some heavy ammunition into the Bill. The Government was variously accused of introducing the -clauses at the behest of "the trade" and at the instigation of the Prohibitionists, and between these two stools the Government managed to avoid falling to the ground. The "clubbists" were beaten by one vote, and the Government, if fche beaten members are true prophets, might as well hand in its resignation. There was quite a crowd in the galleries, although it was a lovely night outside. The proceedings lasted till nearly midnight, and — strange fact — not a single member went to sleep.

Members of the Hou&c put in yesterday afternoon listening to Sir J. G. Ward explaining in fluent periods th+t his connection with a certain subsidised steamship service wns a matter of no moment. In the evening thoy did a little work in a long time, and enjoyed the spectacle of Mr. Kaihau shouting his periodical defiance of the Government. Two sensations happened in the Council, which, after a lot of formal work, attacked the Licensing Bill again. The House had attempted to clip the wings of the free and independent representative by putting a clause in the Bill providing that if Wellington carries No-license "Bellamy's" will run dry and become defunct as a source of inspiration. A great deal of debate (which is doubtless recorded somewhere else in this paper) resulted in the bonds being drawn still tighter. If the House agrees to the Council's provi-

eions "Bellamy's" will close at 10 p.m. every night, and will also be closed on Sundays. As tho news spread abroad that the Council was running amuck, anxious member* of the Lower Houee poured in to the galleries and moaned. They rely, however, on a clause which may permit them to enliven the weary hours of midnight talk by having "lockers" on the ground that they belong to % debating society. Visions of whiskyless evenings and undamped bouts in "Monte Carlo" flitted before them, and they sighed. Mr. Twomey nearly wept. 'Don't drive me to the publichouse," he wailed, and members roared. The Council omitted to say what will happen if "•Bellamy's" breaks the law. When it realised what it had done, the Council looked flabbergasted, like the man who fooled round tho gun and didn't know it was loaded till he woke up in hospital. Sick of its fruitless attempts to deal with tho bona fide traveller, the Council, in a reckless and dare-devil mood, abolished him altogether. On the whole (vide the conscientious record of the reporter) the Council excelled itself. It was a double-barrelled surprise packet, and nobody was co astonished ,a$ itself, llie grey-haired revolutionaries went home just as to-day was beginning. The House adjourned almost immediately after and rushed off to Bellamy's to make as much hay as it could before the sun stopped shining.