EXAMINATION GEMS.

Evening Post, Volume XLVII, Issue 82, 7 April 1894, Page 2 (Supplement)

EXAMINATION GEMS.

Following are a few " howlers " from a collection published in the University Correspondent : — Function : When a fellow feels in a funk. Quotation : The answer to a division sum. Civil War : When each side gives way a little. The four Beasons: Pepper, mustard, salt, and vinegar. Parable : A heavenly story with no earthly meaning. Babies : What you put round a dog's nose to prevent his biting. Alias mflans " otherwise " — e.g., he was tall, but she was alias. What is the capital of Belgium famous for ? — Brussels sprouts, sir. Zeuit'n : (1) A quadruped living in the interior of Africa. (2) A kind of wind. Paraphrase : " The scamping bare out-stripped the wind." — The hare took off its fur in order to run more quickly. Oompurgation : When he was going to have anything done to him, and if he could get anyone to say not innocent he was let off. Why was it that his great discovery was not properly appreciated until after Columbus was dead ?—? — Because he didn't advertise. The Equator means the sun, suppose we draw a straight line and the sun goes up to the top, then it is day and when it comes down it is night. Precession : ( 1 ) When things happen before they take place; (2) The arrival of the Equator in the plane of the ecliptic before it is due. Hypotenuse : A certain thing that is given to you, or it means let it b granted that such and such a tiling is equal or unequal to something else. Nicholas Brakespear (or Shakespeare, which was his right name) was a blind navigator. He was Cromwell's secretary, and was the first Englishman who crossed the Papal See. Llewellyn : A noted epic, who wrote 'Llewellyn's (? Lord Ullin'e) • Daughter.' (His daughter was stolen by an Irish chieftain, which caused the conquest of Ireland). Give an account of Hannibal's campaigns in Spain. — Hannibal was a great general who was blind in one eye, to which he used to put his telescope when he pretended not to see a thing. William Wallace : " The morning star of the Beformation." He translated the Bible, revised the Prayer Book, an 1 was beheaded for not acknowledging Henry VIII. head of the church. Some say he was afterwards dissolved by the Pope and died abroad. Which do you consider the greater general — Caasar or Hannibal ?—lf? — If we consider who Caesar and Hannibal were, the age in which they lived, 'and the kind of men they commanded, and then ask ourselves which was, tho greater, we shall be I obliged to reply in the affirmative. A well-known American dentist says that he has known cases of ardent lovers having teeth transplanted from one to the other. Fifteen brewers and win" merchants who died in the United Kingdom last year left between them £6,165,730. The Admiralty has ordered designs to be prepared for a new type of gun vessel, an improvement on the Linnet, but of greater speed, and carrying a stronger armament, their equipment consisting- of quick-firmg 1 guns of the latent type. Several ftf these vessels will Uo ooninienoed during the en* suing financial year. Travellers can now reach Palestine from London in eight days.