THE RIVAL BABIES.

Evening Post, Volume XXIX, Issue 108, 30 May 1885, Page 2 (Supplement)

THE RIVAL BABIES.

Uncle Putnam'sgrand co-operative baby show, which was to have been one of the features of the poultry and dog exposition at Young Men's Hall, is not visible to the naked eye as yet, but it came very near making a start on Saturday afternoon. Two women with babies entered the parlour set apart for the little popseywopseys, and, taking seats on opposite sides of the room, proceeded to stare at each other coldly and suspiciously. One was a tall female with auburn hair, and the other was a little lump of a woman with very black eyes and a determined look. Although they were, alone in the J room, neither spoke, but they commenced to unpack their offsprings. The auburn-haired lady finally produced from the midst of innumerable wrappings a pale, scrawny-looking infant, wearing a considerable gold chain and an expression of settled melancholy. The other baby was the chip of the old block, so to speak — a corpulent cherub with puffy cheeks and big eyes, who proceeded to suck its fat thumbs with much composure. The silence was becoming oppressive, when the tall woman broke it. She remarked, with affected solicitude — "What is the matter with your baby, mum? The poor little thing looks quite unwell." The little woman's black eyes snapped, but she answered, with forced composure — " Minerva Geraldine was never ill a day in her life, madam, and she is sixteen months and ten days old. Has your little one been ailing long?'* The tall woman's hair began to rise up, but she pretended to be looking to see where the pin was pricking her sad-faced babe, and made no reply. Presently she wound the infant's gold chain around her finger in an abstracted manner, so that the other woman would see it. The rival mother produced a coral necklace with a blue locket, and carelessly clasped it about Minerva Geraldine's neck. Then the other, in tones of alarm, exclaimed — ""Why, Alphonso, you have lost your little gold ring !" Alphonso, who was about thirteen months old, vouchsafed no reply, but only looked sad, and his mother, after a brief search, produced the ring from a needle-case, and, with a glance of triumph forced it on his finger. The little woman was pale, but compressed her lips with stern determination. Diving down into her basket, she brought out a silver mug and a wax doll with real hair. She trembled with excitement, for she had shown her full hand. She won ; the silver mug settled it. "Did you intend to exhibit that overgrown monstrosity here?" inquired the fiery-haired female, glancing at her rival. "Why don't you let out your living skeleton to a peep show?" screamed the little woman, her eyes snapping with rage. " Woman !" "Creature!" It looked aa if there might be bloodshed, and a humane reporter, who had overheard the wrangle, rushed to interfere. "Is my little darling a monstrosity?" " Is my Alphonso a living skeleton?" Both interrogations rang out simultaneously with a shrillness that drowned the yelling of the canines and the crowing of the prize roosters in the next apartment. " Ladies," said he, with an expression of great solicitude, "they are both angels. But for heaven's sake don't detain [me, for I have been exposed to the scarlet fey " And each exasperated female clutched up her baby, and nursingbottle, and basket, aud bounced out. He was alone, and the chances of the show gone.