THE AMATEUR.

Evening Post, Volume XXII, Issue 61, 10 September 1881, Page 4

THE AMATEUR.

"I think," said a well-known orchestral leader, "the best joke ever played in this town was on an ambitious" amateur pianist when G.ttschalk was here. The amateur's father was the owner of a large hall, and he offered the use of it to Gottschalk for his benefit. There was to be a piece for eight pianos, and the amateur was to play one of tha instruments. I was the leader. I thought Gottschalk would have a fit when I t>ld him that the amateur couldn't play three straight notes of the piece. 'He is sure o throw us all out,' said I, * and rain

I the performance.' Gottechalk swore like a j major, but 'twas no good. The billa were i out, and ho couldn't go back on his programme, even if tho gift of the hall for the night was no conaidaration to him. At last I hit on an idea that fixed the whole business. The amateur came dawn to the rehearsal, and we praised him up until he thought he was to be the star of the night. As soon as he left we took the hammers out of his piano, and made it dumb as an oyster. I guessed ho would never know the difference, with seven piano 3 going at once." The tuneful convention laughed. " And just as I thought," Baid the leader, hammering on the table with his glass, " that amateur or his friends never discovered the trick. "No?" "No, sir ; he just sailed in and ponnded on that piano as if it was the worst enemy ho ever had. He was bound to show off among so many good pianists, and hammered on his keyboard until ihe perspiration nearly blinded him. Now and then I looked at him approvingly to give him fresh courage, and every time that I did he gave tho piano a lick that nearly made matchwood ot it. His friends all around threw bouquets at him till he looked like a wedding-arch, and when it was all over his fond parent fell on his neck in the green-room and slipped a cheque for 250 dollars into his hand. The old man didn't know whether he was standing on his head or his heels, he was so tickled, and the way he sent np the wine for the crowd was a caution. ' Didn't he do lino,' said he to me, ' among so many firstclass professionals, too ?' ' I never heard an amateur do so well in public,' said I, and ■what's more I meant it, eh ? Don't you think I was right?" — San Francisco Chronicle.